Running fast, my heart is pumping, and my adrenaline is rising. Just when I thought I was in the clear, I was suddenly crying on the ground of a sidewalk. My spine rushes with fear. My head is pounding with pain. My heart feels like it just dropped out of my body. I could feel my ribs bruising as I tried to breathe.

 For a second I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Imagine being a freshman going into highschool. You’re new to everything and you don't know how your life will change throughout highschool. The school is new , the older boys, and plenty of girls that will bring your name down to the grave. The first choice you make in your high school career is to start dating a junior guy.  He thought he was perfect. His hair was in hundreds of curls all bunched up together. He wore a crooked smile every time you saw his face. But behind every smile of his was the devil waiting to spawn. The way his brown eyes gleamed at yours with such violence, made you lose all control. His voice is an audio that haunts your dreams at night. You would think he's any normal guy, but he has the power to tear your world apart. His hands were as soft as a pillow but they had the power to break every bone in your body, including your heart. You think you are special because he can drive you around and take you everywhere. But little did you know you just made the biggest mistake that is going to change your life and the way you look at things forever.

 That guy who changed my life forever is you. My heart is completely empty and cold because of the pain you put me through. Your name is now a curse to me and follows me around like a lost puppy. I wish I could forgive you for all the damage you've caused me , but I will never forgive nor forget what you did to me. It came to my realization when the sky turned completely dark. The sidewalk reflected the moons light just enough to where you could see. Cars were lined up in every direction you looked. The ground was rigid and saturated with the leftover rain. Screams and cries entered the silent street. You were dressed in a red t-shirt with jeans that had a hole in them. The only thing left in this horrid night is your face staring at me from a distance away. Do you remember this night? Well you made that night into my nightmares that will never leave my mind.

You tell everyone you don't care about me and don't want me in your life, yet you follow me everywhere I go. The anxiety and pain you have made me carry throughouts these 2 years is almost too hard to write about. I can try to tell you how it's affected me but no words can describe my heart ache. My bedroom has become my safe haven and my pillow have drowned in all my tears. The bears you have gotten me sit in my closet locked away , just like my heart. Everytime I see someone else with your car, I feel my stomach drop.Because of you I am afraid of love. I feel that no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try I will never be loved again. 

You have caused me more pain than anyone has ever showed me. You twisted my brain to think letting someone hurt me emotionally and physically was okay. Throughout our time apart I have been in counselling and doctors trying to cure my pain you gave me. The depression I have gained from you feels like im a zombie. I have to wake up everyday and remind myself that I am enough. Because of you I will never be the same and I wish you would have never came into my life. In the end I realized you can only trust yourself.