The day my grandma passed away

One sunny summer day July 28th 2014 was a day I will never forget. That day was the day hearts were broken, the day we lost someone important. My dad and his brothers including my grandpa was sitting all around my grandmas bed worried sick. My mom stayed down at the house with me and my sister and it was in the middle of the night at 2 something am and my dad comes walking down to my house balling his eyes out. I remember my mom telling me that my dad had this cry that sounded so broken and something she had never heard of before.

My parents woke me up that day and told me that my grandma didn't make it through the night, I remember just being in shock and devastated. It was like everything was in slow motion that day. I got dressed and ran down to my grandmas house and i started crying because everyone was down there just balling there eyes out i went and gave my grandpa a hug and told him im so sorry that she's gone and he just cried and said she's in a better place now. I go inside and my cousin was sitting on my uncles lap and they were both crying so hard. I sit in my grandma's chair wondering why she had to go now.

 A few days pass on and it was the funeral day one of the hardest days of my life. I felt like my world just ended, having my mom by my side did help a lot though. After everyone was done saying things about her i went up to her and held her hand one last time and told her that I loved her and already missed her, I kissed her on the forehead and said my goodbyes one last time. As they closed her casket i just wanted to drop down to my knees. I've been crying all day and i just felt so drained and weak. Everyone gets into their cars and we start driving to the grave yard. My cousin was in the passenger seat and my grandpa was driving i was in the middle just crying, my grandpa was telling me shes in a better place now and not struggling anymore. As we arrive to the grave yard i took a breath and stepped out of the car and go over to the closed casket. I took two flowers off to bring them back home with me. Everyone said goodbye and I just stood there in silence being mad at the world. 

As we were getting ready to leave i got in the car with my mom and dad and just layed in bed staring at the ceiling as every memory and thought about my grandma goes threw my head. Still today i wish i could see her but im happy that shes in a better place now then being in this world with pain. The week before my grandma passed away it seemed like she was doing fine but my grandma was good at hiding her pain and told everyone she was fine but she really wasn't. 

She got so bad to the point where she was in a wheelchair the rest of her time, she had to have help with a lot of things. I came down to her house everyday after school or weekends, breaks, anytime i had free id always go down to see and help her. 

One day it was just me and my cousin and my grandma was standing in a chair to hang pictures up on the wall and my grandpa was already in bed and the chair fell and she fell back and hit her head and skinned her leg up pretty bad. I went a woke my grandpa up and he got up to make sure she was okay, I also called my dad to come down because we lived right down the street. When my dad came he said “damn mom you hurt yourself pretty bad” and they asked if she hit her head and he said yeah. We all told her that she needed to go to the hospital because she was all out of breath and hurt herself. But her being how she is she said no that she will be fine, so we said okay. My dad went back home and my grandpa went back to bed after a while and we all went to bed also. 

My grandma was a really strong and caring person, she would always help everyone out, got us grandkids everything and almost anything. She would always try her best to make everyone's day a good day and put a smile on their face. 

Still today I miss her alot she would always help me with things and it's hard to not hear her voice or see her everyday, I mean over the years it's gotten easy but there's times and days where it's completely hard. Me and both of my parents and my grandma used to go to church every Sunday and the church knew my grandma wasn't in the best shape so after church was over they would always do a prayer for her. But after she passed away, we only went back one time and it was hard. Me and my mom and dad all cried and never went back since. 

A Lot of things have changed in my life and others. Something she told me was that we were born to die, she knows she's gonna be ok and where she's going so dont worry and keeping moving forward with life and be happy no matter how hard things get. You know how family is supposed to stay close no matter what?. Well after she passed away on my dads side no one comes around anymore no one hangs out or has family reunions none of that, and if we did we would just all fight and argue. It's sad because family meant everything to my grandma and she was the main puzzle piece to the family and after she left everything fell apart and everyone pushed each other away. 

There's times in life, I always wonder why she had to go so soon like could the doctors made or help her live longer. Was there anything she could of did or take that would of kept her alive? Like was that really her time to pass away or was there something we could do to help her? 

The day she died was the day she took something with her from me i have this one feeling that just stays there, when holidays come it just feels like a normal day things just don't feel the same and that's something that sucks the most but i know i have to move on with life because she's not coming back and there's a lot more in life that i will miss out on if I keep staying and dwelling on it.