So, I didn’t know what to put this under, but this was the best category I could chose. I would love to rant about how much I love the tuba, and nonfiction memoir seemed like an ok place to write under. 

Flashback to fourth grade: I played the trumpet. I chose it because I loved the way it sounded, and as an immature kid, I loved how making the noise was like blowing raspberries, or pretending to fart. I learned somewhat quickly, and I was somewhat confident about my trumpet playing. In sixth grade (the last year of elementary school for me) I thought I was probably the most reliable trumpet player in the section.

At the beginning of seventh grade I didn’t talk to anyone. I felt out of place and was extremely nervous. When we had scale tests, I would sit with my trumpet, my heart practically jumping out of my chest, and the suspense building up as I wondered how badly I would do and how embarrassed I would end up. If you’re a brass player, you have probably tried playing while you’re laughing, or maybe while your breathing is off because you’re scared. I was terrible, don’t get me wrong, but the pressure just made it practically impossible to make a noise. I remember being on the verge of tears. The only nice thing, and probably the only thing that any of the trumpet players had said to me in band was “don’t let the pressure get to you.” I still remember the eighth grader saying that right after I struggled my way through a scale. I wasn’t completely and utterly terrible, but I didn’t have anough confidence, and that took a toll on my playing.

At the beginning of eighth grade, the grade I’m in now, there were a lot of new trumpet players. I recognized most of them, and I knew from past experience at the elementary school that most of them could play faster, had better tone, and a much wider range than I had. Although there were other girls, I didn’t talk to them. Instead, I migrated to the edge of the section as many seats as I could away from the last trumpet player and as close as I could be to my trombone playing friends. There, for months, I sat alone, trying to focus but also trying to feel less lonely during band. It didn’t work very well. After two quarters, my band director announced that it would be useful if a trumpet player switched to tuba because we lost our baritone player and the only low brass consisted of trombones and a bass clarinet. I was hesitant at first because I was only in band half of the time, and it would be hard to learn a new instrument in half of the time as the other trumpet players could. Nobody volunteered so at the end of class I told the band director that I would play the tuba. Eventually he got me a fingering chart and he music that we were playing. I played the concert Bb scale an octave higher than I was supposed to. At least, I remember him telling me that I was playing too high. It took me a long time to learn how to use my lower lip so I could play the scale the right way. It took me even longer to learn to associate the fingerings with the notes written in bass clef. (I’m still figuring stuff out, especially stuff higher than c). 

Recently, I played in a concert, three short Memorial Day parades, and I’m going to be playing for the seniors’ graduation with high schoolers (even with the high schoolers, I’m the only tubist. There is an exception of a boy who I believe plays baritone and tuba, but I’ve only seen him play baritone in the past year). I’ve still got a lot to learn about the tuba, but I have four more years for that. I still practice the trumpet from time to time, and I’m planning to play it more frequently for the summer.

 People have talked to me about playing the tuba. I remember someone joking with me about how only boys can play the tuba. Some people are impressed, other people don’t give it any more recognition than playing the violin or flute.

And, if you’d tolerate it, I’d like to talk about confidence; 

As a trumpet player, even in an extremely rural town, it’s not easy to be the best unless you are the best. I used this to put myself down, which did not help me improve. As a tuba player, I am independent and don’t have anyone to compare myself to. This alone helped boost my confidence to the point where I almost feel comfortable playing independently. Learning the tuba has made me more patient, taught me resilience, and has helped me feel a little bit better about myself. My advice for all of you who feel pulled back by competition or other people is to try to focus on yourself. Not what’s wrong with you, but I want you to play for yourself, not to compare yourself to other people.

If you read through this article, thank you. I appreciate your patience.