“Do you want to hold him?” my mom asked.

“Of course,” I said excitedly.

The first thing I saw when my mom asked me if I wanted to hold my baby brother was her sitting in her hospital bed, with bags under her eyes and messy hair. I saw the checkered curtain that separated the two hospital beds. The hospital bed had two rails on the side with buttons that allowed you to move the bed into different positions. There was a cabinet by the hospital bed that had an off a white phone on top and a bouquet of flowers that had a balloon attached that said “It’s A Boy.” The balloon was round and was baby blue with a bottle in the center. When the balloon blew it made a crinkling  noise like tin foil.

She was sitting there cradling my baby brother, who was wrapped in a baby pink, baby blue and white striped swaddle blanket with a pink and blue striped beanie. While he was sleeping, he was rooting around like he wanted food. She placed my seven pound, nine ounce baby brother in my arms. I held him while she helped me support his head. His skin was soft like you had just lathered him in lotion. His feet were wrinkly like he had just gotten out of an hour long bath. He had that sweet new baby smell that was like a warm portuguese roll. He had a button nose not even the size of a dime. His finger nails were long and sharp; he had scratches all over his face.  He started squirming in my arms. I quickly shoved him towards my mom, pushing him away like he was poisonous.

He started squealing like a cat crying for food; he needed his diaper changed.

“Would you want to help me change his diaper?” my mom asked like she was looking forward to having me help.

“Yes please, mommy,” I said.

Then, my dad came over and helped me off the bed. He also grabbed my baby brother from my mom. My mom got out of the bed slowly, as she had just had a c-section. She slowly meandered to the bassinet. My Memere pulled up a chair, so I could stand on it to be at the level where I could reach my brother.

“Can you get me a diaper?” my mom asked.

“Sure,” I said. I grabbed the diaper from a shiny metal shelf under the bassinet. I put the diaper next to my brother.

My mom asked, “Will you grab me the wipes?”

I said, “Sure. Where are they?”

My mom said, “They are under the bassinet on the shelf below the diapers.”

I stepped off of the chair to grab the wipes. I put the package of wipes next to the diaper I had placed next to my brother a few minutes before. My mom unbuttoned his paper white onesie and undid the tabs on the side of his smelly diaper. I unfolded the new diaper and placed it under his butt. My mom lifted up his little legs and removed the diaper from his butt. Next, I grabbed a wipe from the thin plastic packaging and took the wipe and started wiping his bottom. He whimpered and started shivering. I quickly finished wiping his butt. Then, I folded the old diaper up with the wipe wrapped up inside. I thought to myself, when won’t we  have to change his stinky diapers? My mom folded the new diaper up to cover his butt. I then folded the tabs of the diaper over to the front of the diaper to secure it into place. We buttoned up his onesie and wrapped him back up in his blanket.

After I changed his diaper,  I went and jumped up on an extra hospital bed that my Dad would be sleeping on that night.

“Can I hold my brother again PLEASE?” I  asked.

My dad placed a crescent shaped pillow on my lap. He then sat next to my left arm. He placed my baby brother’s head in the crook of my left elbow.  I thought to myself, I can’t wait to play with him when he gets older. Then I thought, why can’t he stay this little forever? I sat there holding him right next to my dad just staring into my baby brother’s glossy eyes. My Dad unwrapped the bottom of the blanket and I kissed his feet. His feet were smaller than my hand but I thought to myself, they won’t be that little forever and soon enough he won’t want me kissing his feet.

“My arm is getting tired. Can you grab him, Daddy?” I asked.

 “Sure, do you want to go over and sit by mommy after?” my Dad asked.

“Sure, but do I have to leave after?” I asked in a soft voice like when someone is about to cry.

“Yes. I’m sorry, but we will be bringing your baby brother home tomorrow, which will come in no time,” said my Dad with confidence, trying to assure me.

I got off the bed and walked back over to my mom’s bed and carefully got up on the bed and gave her a hug and a kiss. I said “goodbye” , looking back at my Dad sitting in the chair holding my baby brother. Now looking back on this day I realize how lucky I am to have a baby brother, who now isn’t so little, that I still love as much as I did over 11 years ago when I met him for the first time.