The Tragedy of a Nine Year Old

Introduction: It was January 26th, 1975 on a Monday, when the fateful event happened. My mother’s father was sitting in the kitchen and drinking a cup of coffee, when all of a sudden he collapsed to the floor. He had a massive heart attack at the age of only forty five years old. That day a husband was not only lost, but also a father. Leaving four children and a wife trying to survive without him.

Q: Who are you? (Please go into detail)
A: Geraldine Clarke, I have two daughters, a dog and I am divorced.
Q: What about your job?
A: I have been in banking for twenty years. I am currently a project manager at Northern Trust, I implement systems for my company in order for it to function.
Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: Three brothers their names are Patrick, Vincent and Philip.
Q: What was your best day of childhood?
A: My communion because I got to wear a white dress and look very pretty. It was a very special day, all my relatives came in to see me and I got to wear a very beautiful dress, with a white vale. I thought I looked like a princess. My whole family and I went out to dinner to celebrate my communion.
Q: This is a difficult topic, but when was your father’s death?
A: When I was nine.
Q: Do you know the day?
A: It was Monday January 26th, 1975.
Q: Where were you the day your father past?
A: Sitting in my bedroom, waiting for my dad to go to work, so I could get up to go to school.
Q: So where was he?
A: At the breakfast table, he was eating breakfast and drinking his morning coffee when he had a massive heart attack.                           
Q: Were you the first one to find him dead?
A: No, my mother was the first one to find him dead, she   was on the first floor as well.
How did your family and you cope without your father?
A: Well I think we were all very young, I was the oldest of four. My mom had four kids within four years. We were all very close in age, but my youngest brother had just started kindergarten, and none of us really knew what death meant at the time. The fact that he never came home registered to us, that he was never coming back.
Q: When did your father’s death fully sink in?
A: Sixth months after his death, it was more because of school because people treated me different.
Q: Who took the death the hardest?
A: Probably, myself and my oldest brother because we felt that we had to be my dad. Help out with house chores and worry about money because my mom didn’t work she took care of us. She was a nurse, but stopped when she had her first child. She had been out of nursing for ten years and it was not that easy to get back into the field, so we were all very concerned about money.
Q: What was the hardest part of your father’s death?
A: The hardest part was seeing all my friends do stuff with their dads, and I didn’t have a dad to do those things with. For example, we had daddy- daughter dances at our school and I didn’t want to go because I didn’t have a dad to go with.
Q: How did people act toward you at school after your father’s passing?
A: Most of them had never experienced a loss of a parent, so the people would talk behind my
back and the kids and teachers would say to each other “What are they going to do now?”
Q: How about your close friends?
A: They didn’t really talk to me about it, to them life went on and that was what I wanted to be normal.
Q: Why do you think the kids at school acted as they did toward you?
A: Because I was different… I didn’t have two parents instead I had one. My mom wasn’t a person who played baseball, basketball or did other sports stuff. My dad used to do that stuff with us, my mom would not.
Q: Did the kids pity you?
A: I don’t think they pitied me I just think they thought I was different. (answers thoughtfully)
Q: How do your family care the burden of your father’s death?
A: My brothers had to do more stuff around the house, we weren’t able to join teams because my mother couldn’t afford those things. For example, my brothers really enjoyed hockey, but couldn’t play because it was too expensive.
Q: So your brothers missed out on sports?
A: Yes, because we didn’t have the money.
Q: Who was the first one to get a job in the family?
A: Me. I was the oldest, that took a toll because  
I couldn’t do anything at school and I was
only fifteen years old working at Burger King.
Q: Did any of the money you earned go toward the bills?
A: Ah… not really because I didn’t make that much. I couldn’t buy clothes that other kids at school had. For me back then, Gloria Vanderbilt's and Calvin Klein were the jeans I wanted, but I couldn’t have them.
Q: Further into the topic about money, What happened to your financial system after hh father’s passing?
A: We shopped at places called K-Mart, Krezki’s, Turnstyle and we went to garage sales because money was tight. We didn’t go to fancy stores and buy extravagant things.
Q: Express your feelings. If you felt you lost out on things after your father’s death?”
A: I don’t feel like I have lost out on things. I actually feel lucky to have lived in my house because usually when someone parent dies they can’t pay for their house with just one paycheck. My mom was able to keep food on the table, keep us clothed and we were able to reside in our house. She took up jobs during the day while we were at school. One of her jobs was Home Health Care, she would look after people who wanted to stay living in their homes, but were sick and needed assistance.
Q: Was it stressful seeing your mom take on all that work?
A: Yes, my mom worked quite a bit, the hardest part was how far she went for her jobs. For example, one job she took five buses because we lived up near Norwood Park and her job was near the Lincoln Park area. That commute alone took her two hours to get to work and two hours home.
Q: What responsibilities did you have to take on because you were the oldest?
A: Helping siblings with their homework, I couldn’t get any help from my mom because she always had to work.
Q: What about your other brothers?
A: They helped one another out with homework, everyone was really smart. We didn’t really need extra assistance. The only one who lacked drive was my eldest brother because after my dad died he didn’t really care about grades, even though he got A’s on most of his tests without studying.
Q: Did any of your brother’s lash out?
A: No, none of my brothers did anything really bad because my mother kept them in check. My mother was a strong Irish woman and she was a force not to be reckoned with.
Q: Did the eldest responsibilities make you feel like you had to grow up faster than your siblings and friends?
A: No, I don’t feel like I had to grow faster. I just felt like I had to be more creative. For example, I wanted to go to college, but my mom couldn’t afford that. I had to find a solution to be able to attend college. I got a job and my job payed for eighty percent of my tuition to go to school during the night. I went on to get my masters and made a lot more money after that.
Q: How did your father’s person shape who you are today?
A: It made me a strong person. I don’t usually get emotional over things because I feel it doesn’t benefit me and if somebody says I can’t do something, then I work to prove them wrong. I find my own way to be successful in life.
Q: How do you think your dad would like to be remembered?
A: Probably, as an easy going guy and fun loving.
Conclusion: My mother has survived a great tragedy, so young in her life. That loss helped shape her into the person she is today. The struggles my mother faced were great, but she strived through them, and she used those struggles to help drive her toward her goals in life. Her father’s death is a loss she will carry with her forever, but it also helps her to be the person who she is today.