The transition from middle school to freshman year isn’t easy. A campus the size of a college with foreign faces made me feel uneasy, intimidated. I didn’t know where I belonged, where I fit in and most importantly, I had yet to find myself. Who can blame freshman? I am young, naive, and unstable. But, everyone expects freshmen to be perfect and make no mistakes.

During the spring of my freshman year, during soccer season, I made a stupid, youthful mistake that cost me how Coach Asher, varsity soccer coach, viewed me. Coach Kolo, the girl’s freshman coach, was the only one who understood, who listened, and was there when every other mentor looked down upon me. He met with me outside of soccer to help me grow as a individual, rather than a soccer player. He was the only one who believed in me. Each time I saw him at practice it was if all the weight from the toxic life I was consumed in vanished. Other coaches chose to pose me as a disgrace to the Arrowhead High School Girls Soccer program. They made me feel like dirt, worthless to the point where I couldn’t even focus my love for the game, but on how disgusting they viewed me.

Coach Kolo checked on me every few weeks to see how everything in my life was going, but one of the check ups wasn’t the same.

“I wouldn’t be playing soccer the coming season.” I mumbled as my head looked at the ground.

He was upset and discouraged that his colleagues who are supposed to inspire, drove someone to be afraid. The last thing I wanted to do was let the one person who I want to make proud down, but I knew my mental and physical health could not handle another season. Sophomore year we had a little meeting to discuss my decision. I remember him voicing to me, “You will be good at anything you do, everything will be okay.”

His reassurance and validation mattered. He taught me I will make mistakes, unintentionally burn bridges, and deal with difficult people—but I can only come out stronger.

Looking back as a senior, I take blame for my foolish mistakes. Without the slip, I would not be nearly as close as I am with Coach Kolo nor would I have been as comfortable with coping and admitting to my mistakes. I cannot thank Coach Kolo for guiding me through one of the toughest years of my life and letting me find who I am, without being afraid to make a mistake.