I am happy to say that 2015 is over with.  The year was filled with ups and downs like a never-ending rollercoaster—one that makes you want to throw up when it is finished.  I am grateful for meeting Camilla and Alexis and taking part in our adventurous and drama-filled endeavors.  I am grateful for my parents who have saved my life numerous times and who have supported me in my most vulnerable times.  I am lucky to have found the simplistic joy of playing chess with my dad, who I cannot seem to checkmate.  I am lucky that I found a companion in Holden and that I have grown individually by learning what it takes to sacrifice for the person you love.  I am thankful that I deleted some of my social media and felt an instant weight lifted off of my shoulders.  I am blessed to have had the opportunity to become a part of the teen voice program at Planned Parenthood and SafeHouse.  It makes me happy to be a part of something I feel so passionately about.  I am thankful for my sister who sat by my side when I was sad and for Colbie who licked my face when I was crying.  Today, January 1st, is a new year and an excuse to finally wipe the slate clean.  I realize now that living a happy life all of the time is nearly impossible and rather unhealthy.  As I stumble into 2016, there are numerous aspects of my life that I want to change and others that I would like to implement. 

I want this year to be about the little changes and the little victories.  I am certain that I have no idea what is in store for me in the coming year.  365 days is a very long time and the perfect opportunity to focus on myself and my own achievements.  I want my mental health to improve in 2016.  I want to find a way to rejoice when something good comes my way and learn to bounce back when I’ve been smacked down.  I know that this is easier said than done, but at least I can try.  Along the same lines, I would love the do things that make me feel peaceful more often, such as; reading a good book, painting and drawing, writing poetry and stories, and playing chess.  I want to find my happiness in the little places where one would not often expect happiness to be.  I think by connecting to nature more I would learn to also find peace and company in the sounds, textures, and scents of  the natural things I am surrounded by.  I hope to care less about material things and focus on living my life as it is, rather than hoping for what may come next.  With these little changes I hope to breathe more freely and feel more comfortable in my own skin.

Regarding my physical health, I think it is important not to set large and overwhelming goals, but rather mini goals that I know are achievable.  Rather than work to become skinnier, more fit, more tan, or more toned, I want to work on loving the body that I have as of now.  This is the first step to change.  I want to accept where I am and work to become more active and spontaneous.  I want to exercise because I know it makes me feel good about myself.  I want to run because running is freeing and makes me think about when I used to run races with my mom and dad.  I want to get outside more and be active because I want to see more of the world.  I don’t want to exercise to become someone that I am not, but rather enhance that person that I already am.  In 2016 I hope to hike something, to overlook a beautiful view, and to sweat just a little bit more.

In 2016 I hope to learn a lot.  I hope to ask more questions and find things out for myself.  I want to learn more about different cultures and ethnicities so I can put my own life in perspective.  I want to give more and receive less.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be money, but even spending time thinking about the people that are less fortunate than I am, is a step in the right direction.  I want to make a difference in someone’s life—whether it be a child, a teacher, or someone elderly.  I want to learn more about the lives people live.  I want to ask people more questions.  And I want to listen more deeply to the things that others will tell me.  By opening my eyes more to the many different people around me, I hope to be able to live my life more modestly and with a greater appreciation of the things and people that I do have.

This year I hope to rekindle old friendships and spark new ones.  I will do anything I can so stay best friends with Maria.  I will watch more movies with my mom and dad—yes, even the ones that I do not have the strongest desire to watch.  I will learn to cook a wider variety of food, because I love working towards a final product.  I will go on more long bike rides with my mom and discover new, beautiful places to drive to.  I will sing louder and more confidently and I will dance like I know what I am doing.  I will preform my poetry in front of an audience and I will teach reproductive health in front of a class.  I will acknowledge when I have done something wrong and I will try harder to change—not for anyone else, but for me.  This year, I will try a new sport., and when I get hurt trying, I will get back up and try again.

As 2016 progresses, I will keep in mind what matters most: my family.  I will lean on them when I need help because they are the ones who will always have my back.  I hope that by the end of the year I will able to look back on 2016 as a year of ups and downs, like a never-ending rollercoaster—the one you want to ride again when it is finished.  It’s going to be a great year.