Here today, gone tomorrow
Is how my pathetic lifeseems to work
Growing up in an abusive household
Beatings in the day, Tearsin the night
Eight years later I finally get a break
Soon depression sinksin
I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm out of control
Being molested and raped two weekslater
I'm only 12 years old; I fall off the edge
Inside locked doors andwindows
Shut off from the outside world
Watching the chaos aroundme
Many pills, many tests, I'm stuck in this hospital
Like a bird set freeagain
A whole new experience, life and home
Happy today, Happytomorrow
I see the lies, I see the fear
I watch my father drowning inalcoholism
Crying again on the inside
I meet new friends and join thecrowd
It starts with pot and alcohol
Proceeding to opium, mushrooms,acid
Speed and cocaine
Numb and happy, Weak and sad
Nights ofparties
Nights of love
A night of fear, rush and panic
Close to death onthe verge of loss
Given a chance I made it through alive
Still smoking potlaced with the unknown
Looking in a mirror
I'm truly sick, counting eachbone in my body
Fifteen years old, five feet three inches tall
At a weightof only 85 pounds
I am sick, I am ugly
I STOP, I'm proud of myself
Myfather is sick
Trying to end his life
In and out of hospitals
The lasthug, kiss and I love you
Shared at the hospital I once attended
Five dayslater in a drunk rage
My father ended his life suddenly
Pulling the triggerto his gun
Taking away his life and pain
Adding more hate, loss and sorrowto mine
Now 17 and a half years old
Dealing with my past, present andfuture
Living my sick twisted life of fate
Fighting for my chance tosurvive
Fighting for my chance to SHINE!