Most girls have a huge crush on a guy at one time in their lives. You know, the kind that comes with butterflies in your stomach, when you can’t help but smile every time you see that person. Well, I’ve had one, too.

I first noticed him in one of my classes but, shy person that I am, I had a hard time talking to him. One day I decided to write him a note. I asked what classes he took and if he were going to the school dance. At the end, I wrote my phone number and told him to call. I did not have the nerve to give him the note myself, so my friend ran over to give it to him.

The next day, I planned to ask if he had read the note, but as soon as I got his attention, I choked and forgot what I was going to say. I actually asked him if I could have the note back! I had just embarrassed myself horribly.

A few days later I was getting some books out of my locker and the guy I was crushing on walked by. I called out to get his attention, and when he came over I dove right in and asked him out before I lost my nerve. I told him I liked him and had for a while. Then there was a silence that seemed to last forever as I waited for his response. It seemed like we were the only two in the hallway, that no other students or teachers were walking around the halls with us.

My crush looked at me and said no. All the sounds of people laughing and slamming their lockers shut, happy that it was finally Friday, suddenly came rushing back at me like a slap in the face. He told me he only saw me as a friend, and that he was sorry.

I walked out of school in a daze. I saw everything, yet I saw nothing. I responded when friends told me to have a good weekend, but I didn’t really hear them. After all, I had just faced one of my biggest fears and asked out the guy I liked, only to be rejected. Waiting for the bus, I sat on the curb with tears brimming in my eyes, but I wasn’t going to let them fall. I wasn’t going to show that it bothered me that much. He was just a guy, right? Then my friend came over and asked what was wrong. I told her what had happened, and a few tears slipped out despite how hard I fought to keep them back. That’s when she hugged me and told me something I will never forget: “They wouldn’t call it a ‘crush’ if it wasn’t meant to hurt.”