Different | Teen Ink

Different MAG

By Anonymous

      Today was different. Nothing changed. Nothing happened out of the ordinary. I didn’t meet anybody new. I didn’t suddenly jump out of my daily routine. But when I woke up today I knew something was different.

Today I was bored. I walked around my house like someone who thought there was something she should be doing but couldn’t think of what it was. As I walked aimlessly around, I wondered what in the world it was that I normally did - as if I never really knew. It seemed like my normal hobbies were stupid and a waste of time.

That didn’t make sense. I wasn’t doing anything different.

Today I took a walk. I always take walks, but today I thought about the broader concept of life and what my purpose in it was supposed to be. It excited me to think that I was born for a specific reason, that everything about me was there so I could fulfill my destiny. As I did this I tried to take wide strides so I wouldn’t step on any cracks in the sidewalk.

That was unusual. I never do that when I walk.

Today I watched a movie. It was a good movie. I liked it a lot. When I watched it I thought about movies in general and how they try to imitate life. But when you really think about them, they never actually succeed. It’s like they’ve invented their own imaginary world and they pretend that life works exactly the same. Everybody seems to believe it. I wonder if any book or movie has ever created the perfect image of real life. I wonder if that’s even possible.

That was odd. I never think about things like that when I watch movies.

Today I sat down in boredom and puzzled over why today was different. I thought about how all of a sudden everything in my life seemed so dull, and how I had this crazy desire to do something big.

I thought about how pointless my life would be if it ended right now. I could die at any moment, regardless of how healthy I was or how things seemed. It happens all the time. People get hit by cars. They get cancer. They trip on the stairs and break their necks. You can’t assume you’re going to live for 40 more years; that’s what everyone thinks just before they die.

I thought about how I need to do something - how I need to change. How I need to start living as though I could die any day. How I need to become somebody worth remembering.

That was extremely strange. I never think about things like that when I sit around being bored.

Today I wondered if the reason today was different was because someone else had already thought of all these things and had known them all along - and now they were trying to make me see it too before it was too late.

Today nothing was different. The only difference was that I saw that it needed to be.

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This article has 2 comments.

i love this so much!

on Mar. 30 2009 at 9:26 pm
This piece is unbelievable. I am always looking for things to change for me but they never do. The message in this piece makes me realize that the only way things are going to change are if i realize that i need to do something to change it. Thank you :)