You said you would be there for me. And thats all I ask. Not as a friend, not as an enemy, not as a stranger but just there. And you know what? Yeah, I know that change is natural. Happens all the time. But I would feel a whole lot better if I knew that this change didnt have anything to do with that tar thats in your lungs and your blood stream and in your brain.
You once told me that I was your sunshine. That without me, you would die. Im still here for you. You just dont want me. I'm not trying to fight with you, damnit! I'm trying to see where my friend went. The one who didnt smoke weed because it was the 'cool', 'gangsta', 'normal' thing to do. The one who didnt rely on his highs to help him through his problems, the one who wasn't constantly killing himself at such a pace that it scared me.
Your drug is a heartbreaker. It's changing you, and its breaking me into peices, because I cant do anything. Thats the worst feeling in the world. To stand and watch someone fade away, and not having the ability to help. I need you. I dont care if it's in the form of a best friend or a stranger, but I need you. I just want to talk to you again, to have you listen, and to listen as you told me about what was going on in your life. I want to be that friend that you went to first, before you even thought of going to weed, your other friend that apparently has taken my place. Since when have you been picking up the weed rather than picking up the proverbial phone? I dont know. I'm not mad. Not at you, at least. Just tell me that I have it all wrong. That i am still your friend, not that annoying person thats constantly trying to talk to you. Just say that it isn't so, just say that this was all a bad nightmare, and that you dont hate me. It truly sucks that i can only way i can vent is in the form of a dull blade or of a badly spelt, uncapatalised rant written on a website where others will probabally read it and pity me or something just as horrible. Just say it ain't so. because my love is a life breaker. Your drugs are heart breakers and im losing my best friend. Just say it aint so.