No Name | Teen Ink

No Name

January 10, 2008
By Anonymous

I am an alcoholic and a weed addict. I started to drink when I was 11 years old and I started to do weed a year ago.
There are 3 main reasons that I started to drink. The first reason I started to drink was because I thought that it would be fun. That second reason I started to drink was because I was so depressed that I thought that drinking would solve all my problems and I wouldn’t feel like killing myself because that is what I felt like doing before I started to drink but now I realize that drinking only made my life worse and that the choice that I made was a stupid choice. I what to stop drinking alcohol but it is easier to say than do. The third reason I started drinking was because it was the only time I was ever happy. (And no I did not know the dangers of alcohol when I started.)

But alcohol wasn’t the only dumb choice I made. About a year ago I started to do weed and at first I thought that it was fun, but now think it was stupid of me to ever start because it is unhealthy and gross. I know what you are going to say, “then why don’t you stop” the reason I don’t stop doing weed is because I am addicted to it and it is hard to quit. And the reason I smoke weed is because I can’t handle all the pressure form school and home.

I know that I should have tolled my mom when I started all of this because she might have been able to help me. Well the reason I didn’t tell her was because she wouldn’t pay any attention to me or even talk for days because she was to busy taking care of she stupid husband.

The only person that has always been there and that has always helped me in everything is my sister Jami. She is the only person in the world that understands me and knows why I am always depressed.
And when I drank I feel like I am on a bug fluffy cloud that is so soft that I don’t want to get off of it because when I do I feel guilty, stupid and sick. The reason I feel so guilty is because I know that it is wrong, I am doing it behind my mom’s back, and that it stupid is because I know that the choice that I have made is a stupid one and I feel sick because of that choice.

When my mom found out that I was drinking and smoking weed I felt even guiltier felt because I knew that she was suffering and I could see that she was suffering because of me. If I could turn back and choose between smoking weed and alcohol I would choose not to because all they have caused me is more guilt, grief, and got me into alot of trouble.

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