Ever since I was little I have always been told how pretty I am. When I was a kid, I modeled for many different companies, some big, some little. When I was in middle school I was told I was going to become a beautiful woman and how beautiful I already was. In high school I get stopped at different places I go and people tell me I am pretty. 

Growing up I never believed them. I didn’t see myself the way they did. I couldn’t understand how other people would find me pretty or pretty enough to stop what they were doing and take time out of their day to tell me. As I got older and started high school more boys started to notice me. It never really made me feel anything when they complimented me or talked about me. Compliments became my normal no matter where I was. A trip to the grocery store, vacation, work. No matter where I was, people thought things about me that I didn’t even think about myself. I have always struggled with self image and confidence since I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 7 years old.  I continue to struggle with the way I look today but there is one time I will never forget about and think back on regularly.

During the summer of 2023, I nannied about 20 hours a week for a seven year old boy, and if you know anything about little boys they are ruthless and do not care about your feelings. I had just gone through a tough break up and was feeling down so after his basketball practice I took him to get ice cream; partially because I wanted it and partially because I thought it would be fun. As usual, he changed his mind multiple times at the register but once he finally decided what he wanted, a chocolate shake, I sent him to go find a table. When the card reader prompted me to put my card in I did and while taking it out I looked back up to find the cashier staring at me. 

She had straight, thick brown hair with caramel highlights thrown up in a pink claw clip, it was the only color in her all black uniform. She had beautiful blue eyes the color of sapphires, and was the textbook definition of beauty. At first I was confused as to why she was staring at me but I figured she was just waiting for me to be done paying. When she realized I caught her looking at me she turned a new shade of pink. As I looked back down, about to put my pin in the card reader, she said, “You are very beautiful and you seem kind of sad so I wanted to tell you and how I think about things when I am sad. I think about how it will affect me in a month or a year and base my reaction off of that”. I am a fairly awkward person in general and don’t do well with socialization, but especially when I am caught off guard. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I have been complimented before but this time was different. She was kind to me and it was exactly what I needed that day whether she knew it or not.

Without that girl's kindness I would have continued on that day thinking I wasn’t good enough and wasn't pretty. I left the restaurant with a smile on my face that could not be taken off. She did not know the impact she had on me that random Thursday but I have not forgotten the way she treated me and made me feel. I still don't know who she is or her name but one day I hope to find out so that I can tell her the effect she had on me. I try to continue the feeling she gave me by doing good. I see a person and I compliment them the way she did for me hoping that I can have an impact on someone else the way she had an impact on me.