Up until junior year I dreaded being asked, “so what do you want to do in the future?’. I always tried to avoid the question and was too scared to answer, because I didn’t know what to say. I was a confused teenage girl not knowing what to do with her life. Everyone has a desire to be something, but I lack this desire, that feeling of not knowing what you are doing in life, is an overwhelming feeling. It is part of the journey, yeah I might not know what I want to do but it takes time, it’s a process. I loathed taking stem classes, convincing myself that maybe medicine just isn’t right for me. I developed these fears that I won’t be smart enough for medicine. But despite these feelings, I owe to myself, my family, and future patients to be the best I can. 

    I know most medical shows are inaccurate and made only for entertainment purposes, but watching shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Scrubs during quarantine gave me time to think. I realized that my input in the medical field can inspire others who are like me. To serve as a model, to show others that it’s okay to not know what to do in life. Maybe not now, or tomorrow, or even in two years. It takes time and that time is worth waiting for. As a Latina, I needed to work hard; against these stereotypes the media has created for us Latinos. My grades may not be perfect, I may not have a 4.0 gpa at first. But I worked so hard during my last two years of high school, to prove these stereotypes wrong. To prove to the world that I am not loud, or stupid, that I am not like the stereotype the media has portrayed of Latinos . I put my blood, sweat, and tears into the efforts of getting high remarks. I may not be the best in subjects like math or science, but I will not simplify my efforts of doing better. I push myself everyday to reach for the stars. I will continue to study harder, and create a social and academic balance. 

      Being a minority really makes one realize how different you are from someone who is more ethnically and racially privileged. No matter how much you deny it, minorities and p.o.c do not have the same opportunities as white people with their untouched privilege. This lack of opportunities really makes you realize how certain communities and citizens see Latinos. The lack of representation in high education jobs, and in the media really makes it hard to be inspired for a better outcome of our lives.  

Antonelli Mejia once said “The lack of understanding about how environmental factors in our Latinx community hinder our ability to achieve and obtain positions of influence where we can lead through our identity and gain political or social power. This is the struggle to represent”..

Being looked at as someone who is too lazy to have a real dream, or not smart enough for these high educational jobs. Just because I am Colombian doesn’t mean I will stick to stereotypical jobs like being a maid, or a construction worker.  Having people assume that we’ll get knocked up at a young age or be a college drop out. I don't have that privilege from starting from the top. I have to work hard for anything I want in life. I have to pull all nighters, and be sleep deprived just to be a bit closer to success. And one day my hard work will pay off, and I'll be able to inspire and be a representation that Latinos need in high educational jobs. 

Most immigrant parents come to the U.S. to provide education and opportunities for their children. I would always complain to my dad why I have so much responsibility, or why Colombia couldn't be our home. Whenever I asked questions like that I’d get the same response 

“Because nadi colombia doesn’t have the same opportunities, it's not as safe as it is here in the states. I came here to be safe, to escape from the cartel war that was going on back when I was in high school”.

“But nadi i don’t want you to decide what you want to do because of me or mami you deserve to do what you want”

Although being a first generation immigrant daughter comes with a stupendous amount of responsibilities, I owe it to my parents, my ethnic legacy, and my community. I want to overcome these responsibilities and make my parents proud. My mom is a social worker who grew up with disabled parents, having to take care of herself and her parents. She have the responsibility of cooking dinner, doing all the house chores, and help my grandparents with their beauty store, But despite all these set backs, my mom went on to earn her master degree through Columbia University. WHile my dad is a college drop out with nothing but a GED. But He joined the military and went on to serve during the first Iran war after 9/11. He came back home with PTSD and no degree. My dad went onto become an NYPD, which is not an easy job due to its controversy, overtime, working on holidays, dealing with criminals. Yet despite working hard both of my parents are going paycheck through paycheck. 

    As a daughter it is hard to see my parents struggle so much, knowing they deserve the world, and the recognition for all their hard work. I admire my parents, their hard work, their selfless actions, their ability to provide for our family. We may not have the best relationship due to cultural beliefs, but I love them so much, more than any word can express. Our parents may have experience these Latino stereotypes, but they manage to be that one bright star in the sky. My mom graduated from an Ivy League, while my dad went on to severe and protect this country and its citizens. This family may be struggling, but this family is our fortress. They may have been lured into stereotypes set by society, as they dropped out of college and work at a “low paying job”. But it only pushes me to work harder and purses my dreams of being extraordinary. 

       I want to be that representation my parents never had, I want to be that influence I needed during high school.  I may not be good in math or science but throughout my highschool career I definitely improved, I began to understand math better, I developed this love for science, and human anatomy. My whole life I knew I wanted to help the underprivileged, and being in the medical field will help me achieve this dream. I’ll be able to medically help those who are in need of medical attention. I will meet these high standards that are embedded in the medical field and I will make a change. I don't have to go through the same stereotypical struggles my parents had to go through.  I want to be able to flourish and make a difference. I want to make my parents proud. I want to be that representation Latino people need.   There is a 78% of  Latino people working in low educational jobs. Nobody sees our hard work, nobodyno body notices us.  I want to create that life, that will make all my hard work worth it. I will be imperfect, I’ll fail and fall but that is only more of a reason to keep  moving forward and face my fears.