*places fingers on keyboard*

Hi Sparrow. It has been 2 months since I last contacted you. I have no excuses. I hurt you and I'm sorry. I won't say I didn't have internet or that my computer broke down or that padlet stopped working and I forgot TI was our home base. Those would be lies. I'll only say I'm sorry, and hope those words don't ring hollow. I've been a bad friend to you. I'm going to try to explain why, and to give reasons without giving excuses. Maybe you'll find the reasons worthy and maybe you won't. Maybe you won't want to read them at all. I wouldn't blame you. In case that's the case, they will be down at the bottom after I've hit enter a bunch of times so they aren't sprung on you.

I don't know if you'll see this but I hope you do since I know you're still on TI as of Sept. 13th. Whether you want to even talk to me again or not, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't hurt you and that I was a better friend. I'm posting this here to make an apology on the site where we first met and also to make it more formal. As soon as this gets approved it will be on the internet forever. That said, it's completely possible that you won't see this. As a safeguard against that, and since there's no other way to tell if you saw or read this, if there's no comment from you in two weeks I'll say all of this in our padlet in the hopes that you'll see it there. I'll then wait for a reply on either site. If you never reply I won't blame you; you have every right not to. My intention with the two weeks thing isn't to force you to interact with me, just to have a way to know that you read this. 

Reasons:

Remember when I told you I wouldn't be online as much because I was attending something that lasted a couple weeks? I didn't open up padlet or TI much during those weeks and I got out of the habit of it. It sounds stupid and it honestly is. It's the truth though. But getting out of the habit of it wouldn't have lasted long before I got right back into the habit of it except I struggle very much with procrastination. Normally that just means I have a harder time completing homework but since I've been online I've been procrastinating there too. I procrastinated opening up padlet and TI for over a month. I realize procrastination sounds ludicrous as a reason for ghosting you. The best explanation I can give is through a quote: "[T]here's a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline... There's also all kinds of important things... that don't involve any deadlines, like seeing your family or exercising and taking care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out of a relationship that isn't working. Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these hard things is the Panic Monster [a metaphorical monster that represents when a deadline gets too close so your brain kicks into panicked high gear to get what needs to be done, done on time], that's a problem, because in all of these non-deadline situations, the Panic Monster doesn't show up. He has nothing to wake up for, so the effects of procrastination, they're not contained; they just extend outward forever." - Tim Urban, "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator"

Finally, for the past couple weeks I was scared to reach out because I hadn't for so long. I felt caught in a sort of limbo - it had been too long already but if I waited it would only be worse. But then I kept waiting and the limbo kept going. There it is. Those are the reasons. Crappy though they may be, they're the only ones I've got. I'm sorry for hurting you. I sincerely mean that. 

If you read to the end of this it probably brought up a lot of painful feelings. I know I'm the reason for all of them, so to say thank you for reading this I found pictures of corgis:
i.pinimg.com/736x/83/18/92/831892915d16e521bac47d17153ede10.jpg

thesprucepets.com/thmb/Rehivhz33F762qy7sAQkjV21hUk=/450x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/40926432_560505141051912_3896594467564281999_n-5ba052bac9e77c0050e669bb.jpg

wallpaperaccess.com/full/1154655.jpg

mypetsname.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Cute-Corgi-Dog.jpg