Dear Greg, 

It's been one year since you killed yourself, or it's more since we pulled the plug. I love you, and i'm less angry now then I was when I wrote my first letter to you. I'm still so confused as to why you decided that drinking yourself to death was a good idea. If you wanted to leave us so badly, why did you do something that gave us a little hope, at least ME a little hope. So many things have happened since you left us. Alec is now in 7th grade, and is eating so much food. It's so crazy to see how much he is growing.

I'm in 10th grade and i'm crazy busy. I'm working, doing softball, still volunteering at the fire station, school, and hanging out with friends as well as my boyfriend. Yes, you read that right, BOYFRIEND. He's a freshman and is amazing. He treats me like a queen, which is what you told me to look for in a boyfriend.

You missed mom's birthday, and my sixteenth birthday. That is a big year Greg, and you missed it. Alec's birthday is in a few weeks and you're going to miss his thirteenth birthday. How could you want to miss that? It's fine though, maybe your happier. Maybe being away from your family is better, right? Okay, yea, maybe i'm still a little mad. I sort of have a right though. You took yourself away from me, after telling me that you loved me and were going to be there for me. How dare you lie to me like that? Did you think that it wouldn't hurt the people around you? Do you honestly think that leaving us was the best solution to your problems? I don't know why you needed to drink, and now i'll never know, but I guess that's for the best right? I'm to young to understand right? To talk to right? You said you loved our deep conversations, so why couldn't you talk to me about what was so bad in your life that you wanted to leave us? You wanted me to spill everything about my life to you, and I couldn't because there was clearly something wrong in YOUR life, which is something that I could not make worse with my problems. I don't want to be mean about this, I don't want to be mad. Or upset or anything like that. I just want you back. You could have gotten help or at least found a better outlet that didn't take you away from me. I needed you. You understood my craziness even when I didn't. I miss you so much. I just wanted you to be here. Not even to help me, or Alec, or Bupshka, or anyone for that matter. I just want you here. Alive and breathing without the drinking with our random texts that was just us talking abotu life and people and how they both suck sometimes. I just miss you. I want you here. Or at least answers as to why you left me. Your friends and the rest of your family miss you and love you and just want you here.