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Rednegsnart, The Other Side
"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long." - Sylvia PhlatI relaxed in the warm embrace of my cashmere cocoon as I reached for my personal pocket-sized computer. I finally ignited enough courage to divulge a secret I had tried to keep hidden from the world. A secret straining up against a cage made up of my fear, shame, and anxiety. I tapped a small brown icon hidden among a sea of its relatives. It opened up a universe of selfies, cheesy relationship quotes, and funny cat videos. I wasn’t focused on any of that though; I had to do something that couldn’t wait any more seconds, minutes, days, or years. I traveled to the top of the screen and entered another part of this universe; a more quiet place where people could communicate privately. I touched the symbol that marked her presence and tried to find the key to open the horrendous cage that surrounded my secret. I couldn’t say it forwards, I was not strong enough yet, so I said it a different way, an opposite way. I typed in a single word that she didn't know, Rednegsnart. I waited for a response of contempt, of anger, of disgust, but instead, I was answered with asymbol declaring her absolute confusion. I replied this time understanding that I would need to say it forward and face my fear. I said it; a three word sentence that brought about the release of so much pain and would change my life forever. She was shocked at first but then replied with bliss that she would always be my friend no matter what I decided to do with my life. Salty liquid trickled down my cheeks, I knew the sensation would come but I assumed it would be caused by grief not by such immense joy. This was the beginning of my brand new world; a world where I could be truly me.
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This is the other side of dels.lemonade's "Rednegsnart Backwards"