Alex and Sam are two people who are in a perfectly happy relationship. They do just about everything together: they eat together, they exercise together, and, most importantly, they love each other. When Alex was sick with mono, Sam stayed and made sure he felt better and when Sam’s brother died, Alex was there to help through the difficult time. Their friends view them as the most stable couple they have ever seen or known. Everyone wonders when the wedding will be, but there is a slight hitch: Alex and Sam are both males and unfortunately, same-sex couples cannot legally get married.

Though there are many reasons people can give for why two people of the same sex, such as Alex and Sam, cannot get married, one of the more popular arguments people like to use is the religious one. Citing holy texts such as the Torah, Dr. Donald DeMarco at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut says that “…the Jewish Torah […] found [homosexual acts] to be an ‘abomination.’ It was Judaism alone, 3,000 years ago, which denounced homosexual practices…” Back then, it was the norm for men and women to get married, not for man and man or woman and woman to get married. Sure the texts denounce sexual acts between two people of the same gender, but they say nothing about marrying one another. 3,000 years ago, they never had to think about two males or two females tying the knot because same-sex marriages did not happen back then and because they did not happen back then, there was no reason for the inclusion of that particular issue in the Bible or any other religious tome.

The Bible also considers “idol worship and murder [to be] abominations,” yet there have been many a case in which murderers have been permitted to wed such as the “most violent prisoner in Britain” Charles Bronson (no, not the actor), serial killer Richard Ramirez, and brothers Erik and Lyle Menendez who were convicted of shooting their own parents (Gannon). It is not fair that gay people, who pose much less of a risk to society than criminals, are not allowed to legalize their happiness. The fact that gays have been grouped with people who have done abhorrent evils such as killing someone is not an accurate representation of the population. Gays are not notoriously known for killing sprees and homicidal intentions yet people like Ramirez, who has been found guilty of murdering fourteen people, are allowed to legalize their happiness without having people passionately express their negative opinions toward the subject.

The thought that marriage is a sacred institution that should solely be shared between a man and woman mainly stems from tradition. Many people, when thinking about marriage, picture the “whole shebang:” a plethora of white and a priest or rabbi officiating the marriage all within the sacred walls of a beautiful ancient church. Though people still do want to have their perfect white wedding, “no state […] requires a religious service to be married” (Gannon); there are other representatives that could preside over the ceremony such as judges, authorized civil servants, and some states even allow family and friends to. While marriage and religion do not strictly go hand in hand, they have been closely linked for so long that the general population forgets to differentiate between the two thus when people think of marriage, they cannot help but think of priests, rabbis, and churches.

Along with some religious misconceptions of what really constitutes a wedding, the nay-sayers who protest that same-sex marriage goes against what the Bible and God say should also account for the fact that with a growing population that is becoming more and more secularized, religion need not hold precedence over other people’s beliefs. “Nonreligious” people make up the third largest religious group (with 16% of the world’s population) which is only 5% behind the second largest group, Islam. Because of the growing prominence of secular people within the world, it makes no sense to bring theological thoughts and beliefs into debate when not everyone agrees with those views.

There are many people who argue that same-sex marriage is wrong just because over 3,000 years ago it was condemned, but with changing times comes changing beliefs and no one can be expected to live in the past and not alter their views over certain subjects.