Ever since I was young, I liked washing my hands. I felt like I was clean unlike other children, and I did not have to worry about little germs that teachers normally describe with, about our dirty hands. I was proud of myself washing my hands spontaneously without my mother’s instruction.

However, as time went by, when I went to middle school, it became a problem. I went to the bathroom every 30 minutes which was my limit of suppression. I felt like everything around me was dirty so I was very careful about touching things, even my friends. I could not concentrate on the lesson, and my pace between the bathroom and the classroom irritated my classmates. I thought something was wrong but I did not attach importance to it since being clean is a good habit.

However, another symptom came into sight. Whenever I got lower score than A- on my works and tests, I blamed myself, regretted the amount of effort I put on my work, and as a result, I was tormented by those thoughts. Though my parents told me that those grades are good, I could not forgive myself. I was so stressed out about my features that were not normal.

Then, one of my best friends who majored in psychology told me about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She was the only one who first found out my symptoms, and she knew very well about them. She told me that my symptoms fall under the OCD which is not a weird thing but just being different form other normal people. She introduced about the OCD conference suggesting that her experience at the Chicago conference was so valuable that she still recalls and uses the knowledge from that presentations. So, I made up my mind to go to the Boston OCD conference for the better life in a comfortable state of mind.

The OCD conference was fascinating. There were a lot of people who had similar symptoms with me, who had more intense symptoms, and who did not have symptoms at all but came to learn about it. The presentation was for young adults who are suffering from OCD and want to go through the school life well with OCD. Each speaker shared his or her story talking about what kind of OCD they had, and how they overcame their OCD.

First, Lisa Mueller, who is now in her senior year at college, showed symptoms of perfectionism. She always woke up at 2 o’clock and prepared for school for about 5 hours. She could not cooperate with her classmates very well because of her OCD, wanting to have perfect work and scores. Sara Bacon also had perfectionism but had more than one; Order, Symmetry, and Mathematics. Whenever she read a book, she had to re-read the book again and again making sure that she understood every single detail. To her, disarrangement and asymmetry were so intolerable that she always had to have her pens and pencils lined up perfectly.

Jillian Blanc, who currently graduated from University, used to have extreme Contamination, and Cheating OCD. She not only could not touch any object but also could not touch her friends. Lastly, Tommy who is a junior in high school starts his speech with his drawbacks of his characteristics. He used to be very passive and quiet. Because of his OCD, added to his reserved characteristics, Tommy did not have any friend. His classmates always saw him as a weird student because of his high anxiety level which is one of the features of OCD. I have found out that most of people who have extreme OCD and want to cure it often have their own doctors. Though it requires perseverance and confidence, it takes a relatively short amount of time which is an efficient way to overcome OCD. On the other hand, there are some people who try to overcome their OCD by themselves with ERP. Jillian Blanc, for example, overcame her OCD through ERP. For contamination, she tried to think that it is of no utility to her to be clean since everything around her including herself is dirty. This thought enabled her to refrain from washing her hands and be comfortable about being dirty. While I was listening to Jillian’s speak, I was moved by her tremendous amount of effort and the time that she spent. I could feel her pain and happiness at the same time which was very inspiring. I also learned that it is important to think that OCD is not an embarrassing thing but a special feature to have. This presentation not only made be confident that I can surmount my OCD but also gave hope that having OCD will be an advantage for me if I make it as my strength.

After 3days of attending the OCD conference in Boston, I now feel confident that my OCD can also be cured. Since my OCD is not that extreme, I would not need my own therapist. I learned how to mitigate OCD through ERP, and I also figured out that using imaginal exposure is helpful. Imaginal exposure is a method that I can easily use in daily life such as writing my worst fears on paper and recording my memories. In the future, I may help other people who are suffering from OCD like I did, especially if I major in psychology in college. I hope there is a chance for me to share my experience with others, giving them confidence to live.