Feel the Burn | Teen Ink

Feel the Burn

July 1, 2011
By owkey BRONZE, Markham, Other
owkey BRONZE, Markham, Other
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hey

-Owkey


One more rep. One more. One.... Ah I can't do it. I jump as I hear the sound of metal clanking on the floor. I can't feel my arms. That's good right? I think that's supposed to happen. How else are they gonna get any bigger? I wrap my hand around it. I think it got bigger. That doesn't mean much though.
Who likes scrawny guys? Not me. It's not my fault my metabolism works so well. You know who else doesn't like scrawny boys? Girls that’s who. They said so. Well, not exactly. Have you ever seen an action hero who wasn't 250 pounds of steroids packed meat? When’s the last time Skinny el Sticko got the super model turned actress? Imagine Rambo without the eight pack. Not happening right? No one's ever told me that guys who aren't muscular aren't any good. They showed me.
I can’t go back to school. Not like this. Not like last time. I rub my shoulder. I can still feel the bruise digging in. It sucks being the least athletic guy in your class. I thought it was P.E not the Olympics. It’s only a game, yet all the other guys take it so seriously. Seriously enough to shove me into the change room locker. I’ll show em. I’ll show em what a real man looks like.
I worked hard. Hard enough for a drink. I stand around pretending to stretch, sipping my water ever so slowly. I don't wanna get back in that gym. Not next to those guys. Maybe I'll just go hang out in the sauna and look tired. Hopefully everyone in there’s gonna be wearing a towel. I hate when that happens.
Look left. Bodybuilder working on his triceps. Look right. Shirtless bodybuilder working on his triceps. Look up. What do ya know. There's a shirtless bodybuilder working on his biceps. Everywhere I look I see sweaty, hardworking men. They all seem too big for their shirts. That's who I have to be. So when I am do I get shirts that are rippable at the chest or just regular shirts?
Break time's over. Back to the bench. I load up the weight plates. Clink, clink. Just another hour today. And the next day. And the next. Again, and again.
One more rep. One more. One...


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This article has 11 comments.


on Sep. 28 2011 at 9:45 am
Arya4Eragon PLATINUM, Jonesboro, Arkansas
20 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Without life there is still faith, but without faith there is no life." -SJB

Great Writing!

Will you check out my short story If Only?


on Aug. 28 2011 at 1:21 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

i love this. i wanna tell him that i'd date him :P my boyfriend is like this. he's got a really good body but he's constantly working out because he thinks he's not good enough. maybe i should have him read this :)

delz4 GOLD said...
on Aug. 27 2011 at 1:56 pm
delz4 GOLD, San Francisco, California
14 articles 8 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Experience is not what happens to you, it\'s what you do with what happens to you." - Aldous Huxley

I love this story.  The stream of consciousness seems so realistic and it is refreshing to hear that guys are also uncomfortable with their body.  Great job.

on Aug. 24 2011 at 1:00 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

I like this article from a boy's POV!  Guys have self-image problems too and this article definitely shows the pressure that's on them.  There are only a few minor mistakes (like no commas where there should be), but they don't really take away from the overall message.  Although next time, you might want to space out your paragraphs a bit more so it's easier to read.

on Aug. 23 2011 at 11:25 pm
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 373 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

This was an interesting look into an adolescent boy's mind. It's also I think all to true. There was good description and you made the media's impact on teenagers, not just girls, and body image very clear and apparent. There was a message in this without being preachy.

 

One critique is that none of your paragraphs are indented. I realize that they don't let you indent in the forums, but they do on published works. It might be a good idea to fix that next time. Other than that I found no grammar or spelling mistakes. Great piece!


julian GOLD said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 7:25 pm
julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
17 articles 17 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
The goal is not about living forever, the goal is about creating something that can.

This is beautiful!! I really enjoy how you just exposed the media's methods of showing what the "perfect" guy should look like. In fact, everybody's different, and I bet you around 80% of guys aren't hulking muscular six-pack types. I'm glad you wrote about this topic, and I hope it gets published because more people should be aware and understand that everybody's different. Wonderfully written and brilliant. 5-stars!

paige14 GOLD said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 11:31 pm
paige14 GOLD, Portsmouth, Ohio
17 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Say what you need to say--John Mayer

You have to have an extra space between paragraphs to make them space out. And I really liked this piece. The characters thoughts were both very vivid and natural, not forced like a lot of writing can be. Good!

owkey BRONZE said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 12:35 pm
owkey BRONZE, Markham, Other
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hey

-Owkey

Thanks for all the comments guys :D Does anyone know how to make the paragraphs actually spaced out? I remember I spaced down 1 line when I submitted but I guess it didn't turn out well. Thanks again ;3

Faerie said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 10:55 am
Faerie, Lala, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 18 comments

 

Nice story! I enjoyed reading this. Your emotions are very vivid, which is exactly what a good writer does. :) I got a little confused at times. Some of your sentences are a little ambiguous.

Other than that, it's excellent. :)

Keep writing!


on Aug. 20 2011 at 4:15 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

Nice story. I enjoyed reading your character's thoughts--it seemed to flow pretty well. I would like some clarity on certain things, like BorderlineGenius777 mentioned, but other than that, this was really good! :)

on Aug. 19 2011 at 9:59 pm
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart."- Socrates

interesting, but when you say "I hate when that happens" you have to say what you hate. also, you need t pay attention to your paragraph structure. I did enjoy the story though, and i want you to keep on writing. i see a few mistakes here and there, but fix those and you could be a great writer