One of my best friends tried to commit suicide in the eighth grade. She came to school, with sweatpants, and bagged and overflowing eyes. We didn’t know why. Everything seemed fine. Online, is where the battlefield was, covered with hate and words that tore at the soul. I didn’t have a Facebook. Neither did my other friends. We didn’t see what people from other schools were saying. Not until her life was in jeopardy.
My friend had friends from other schools. I shouldn’t call them friends, since they drove her over the edge, but she had lots of “friends”. I couldn’t name them all, but she was happy to have everyone. She was always on her phone talking to them. She started to get withdrawn from us, and stopped talking altogether. I assumed it was because she wanted to talk to them more than us. I never thought it was because of the bullying.
Her mom found her with a note and a knife in her room. The only reason she is alive today, is because her mom found her before those last few moments. That wasn’t the end of it. We helped her end the messages from the others by deleting her previous accounts, contacting administration and talking with the parents of the bullies. We helped her get through that year. Come summer, we all were busy with sports and family vacations. She wasn’t. She was still receiving hate from all angles. Four more times she tried to end her life, and four more near misses and texts stopped it from happening. It got to a point where her mom admitted her to the psych ward of Children’s Hospital. She was there for the rest of the summer.
We didn’t find out about the other attempted suicides until the start of school. She told us why she stopped texting after June and  why she missed birthdays and annual get togethers. We all hugged her and told her it would be ok. We said she didn’t have to worry because we were there. I still saw the hurt in her eyes, and knew that it would be awhile before we could define ourselves as “normal” again.
We finally got through to her that the bullies shouldn’t control her life. We stood beside her and listened to everything that she had to say and every note or message that was set to her. After threats of expulsion, the bullies finally stopped and the rollercoaster was going uphill for once. If someone had just seen what they had said and told them to stop, we might not have had to go through that year. People can help make this stop before it tumbles out of control. If someone would’ve stood up for her like I wish I could have maybe things would be different. If teachers and administration were more active in stopping these problems the first time around, the world would be a different place. I ask you to try and step in if someone is getting bullied online. One post can make the difference between someone choosing to end their life. One post, one smile and one conversation can change the perspective of a person. This will make all the difference in the world, and maybe someday bullying will be erased from everyone’s vocabulary.
Years later, I still think back to how horrible that year must have been for her, and how it took a toll on us too. She’s happy now. She has us and other friends that don’t mock and tease. That don’t send the hateful texts. When we bring up some memory of eighth grade, she flinches and looks the other way, but for the most part she’s ok. It took a long time, and a lot of help from others to get her where she is now. She needed to know that she’s not alone, and that’s what we told her. Because she’s not alone.