Ways to Stop Bullying | Teen Ink

Ways to Stop Bullying

December 6, 2013
By ElizabethAM BRONZE, Temecula, California
ElizabethAM BRONZE, Temecula, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Artists instinctively want to reflect humanity, their own and each other&#039;s, in all its intermittent virtue and vitality, frailty and fallibility.<br /> Tom Hiddleston


We've all heard the standard slogans or seen them haphazardly slapped on the walls of the school: 'be good to others!' 'make a difference!' and other such putrid eye-glazing material. Being a quirky, awkward teenage bookworm, I didn't fully understand the powerful and important message being thrown at me from all sides, though I wish I had. I dealt with a number of mental and physical issues as a result of bullying. I felt like I had nowhere to escape, no one to talk to, no way to make it stop.
Did you know: Every seven minutes, a child is bullied and 85% of the time, no one does anything to stop it.
Isn't that mind-numbing?
That means two out of three people turn away when someone is being hurt. Do you want to be apart of that statistic? If you answered "yes" then it's worse than I thought.

As a personal victim of bullying, I can assure you the bully does not have to come from a bad family, or even be suffering from depression, the bullies may just wish to lord it over someone they perceive to be weaker than they are. Oh, well that makes everything okay, right? WRONG. Don't ever think for one second that the bullies have an excuse for hurting you. I made the mistake of trying to excuse the behavior of my bullies into something I could rationalize, because why else would they do it? To be cruel? To cause someone pain and anguish just for the sake of a few laughs? Not something I was willing to consider at 14.

The definition of a bully is: A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate someone perceived to be weaker or beneath them.

If you know someone who fits this description or (hopefully not) this describes you then I would consider a serious change. Whatever it may be. Surprisingly enough, bullies don't have to be strangers you walk by in the halls. They can be a friend, family member, even a teacher or boss.
Even adults can be bullies. Again, pretty pathetic. And that's all bullies are, pathetic!

And I'm not trying to be preachy, believe me. I know what it feels like to have your voice taken away from you. To feel like no one cares or is listening, and lying awake wondering what you did to deserve it and why won't it stop.
The truth is, it won't stop, not ever, not unless people like you and me, who have been in that situation and know what thatdespair and darkness feels like, step into the sunlight and DO something about it. I made a promise, that if I ever saw someone being bullied. I would not stand by.
Not ever again.
Some Do's and Don'ts to live by:
DO:TELL SOMEONE.
I'm serious. The very second bullying happens, bring attention to it. Bullies rely on silence and discretion. By calling attention to a situation, you eliminate their first maneuver of attack. I don't mean you should yell "Look everyone! A bully!" but make sure to tell an adult. Don't get brushed off by teachers, or principles. I'm not lying when I say that I told my school I was being harassed and they gave me the figurative cold shoulder. Turns out, one of my bullies was one of the school's star athletes. They didn't want to get involved.
Annoy them until they fix it. Or give you advice, or do SOMETHING.

DON'T: Retaliate. I can't tell you how many times this has not worked for me and left me in worse condition than if I had just shut my mouth and walked away. Which brings me to my next point..

DO: Walk away. If you can, walk away from them. Sometimes you may feel frozen but try to put as much distance between them or you as possible. Remember, you are not supposed to stay and listen to them. You don't have to. You have a choice. Walk away.

DON'T: Be afraid. Be strong, be confident. Put some zing in your step. I can say from exprience, that while you may feel weird walking around like you own the place, you start to feel better and not quite so wary. Bullies notice this and hate it. They want a weak target.

DO: Ignore them. Bullies pick on people for a few main reasons.
1) They enjoy hurting people for sport
2) They are depressed and feel weak themselves
3) are trying to impress someone
4)want attention
5)have been victims of bullying

That last one is important. Have you ever bullied someone because you want them to feel the way you felt when you got bullied? Yes, don't lie. Well, that's bully mentality. Make everyone around you feel as awful as you do. If you can't join em, beat em. These are poisonous yet sadly, very true mentalities.

I wish I could give you all the tips in the book but the very best advice I could leave you with is, don't be a bystander. Let the bullying end with you.

Good Luck.


A/N: If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide then please get in contact with a suicide hotline. Whatever you're dealing with is not worth dying over. Trust me.


The author's comments:
When I was sitting in my closet a few months ago, crying and suffocating and cutting myself with a pushpin, stomach craving nutrition I hadn't fed it in days, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by life, I knew I needed to do something, anything, or I was going to disappear. I had just lost my grandmother and I was being harassed and threatened and bullied almost everytime I walked outside. I began to be afraid of leaving my house or even falling asleep. They never cared or knew how much pain they had caused me. Never knew how hard it was for me to pretend I didn't care when I wanted to scream and scream till my throat was sore and my head hurt. I think I will try not to remember them, but the lessons they taught me about becoming stronger, and surviving. If it hadn't been for my best friend, I believe I would have killed myself. I am very much past that. I am very happy with life and excited for the dangers and the treasures I can expect from it. I knew I had to write this, not only to share my passion for creating a peaceful world but to set myself free from my painful scars, both mental and physical. Thank you.

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