People keep telling me to live in today,
Not in the haunting yesterday.
They don’t understand that I can't.
Every time I close my eyes,
I remember everything,
Especially all ‘their’ loving lies.
I try to stop, but I can’t.
Ruminating isn’t pleasant,
Not at all.
But I can’t seem to tear down
This memory filled encasement of a wall.
I’ve tried, but I can’t.
I can’t, but believe me,
I want.
I want to believe in tomorrow,
And throw away yesterday’s sorrow.
But my mind disagrees with me.
My mind
Fogs up my intentions; I can’t see.
I can’t see
My future ahead of me.
I’m still focusing on the pains
Of yesterday, when I would love
To be dreaming of the future,
And living in today.
But my life just isn’t working out that way…