A Glimmer of Hope | Teen Ink

A Glimmer of Hope

January 12, 2013
By HLS21 GOLD, Scenery Hill, Pennsylvania
HLS21 GOLD, Scenery Hill, Pennsylvania
12 articles 2 photos 1 comment

After reading the email about the bullying book I was ecstatic and felt as if it was a sign. Recently, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression. I’m irritable, miserable, and just feel like life isn’t worth living every day. It’s ruining my relationships with my family, friends, and boyfriend. It stresses me out knowing this is who I am and this is the person people have to deal with; someone who is never happy. I feel awful because I have no reason to be so depressed. My life isn’t great but it isn’t the worst either; as soon as I open my eyes I am hit with a cold wave of sadness for no reason. I have so many questions and no answers. It’s so bad I refuse to have children because I don’t want to watch them suffer in this poor-excuse-for-a-life life I am having. My depression has been one increase in my stress levels.
Another increase is the fact that just a few weeks ago, I lost a girl who was supposed to be my best friend. Now she’s the girl who tries to bring me down by talking badly about me daily, makes rude comments every time I walk by, posts stuff about me on facebook, and tries to make my boyfriend leave me. She makes me hate going to school. I feel bullied. I hate getting up in the morning, I hate every class, I hate everyone in school, and I can’t wait to hear that last bell. I’m the girl that walks with her head down and makes eye contact with no one secretly wishing she was never born. My friends and I used to mess with people for a laugh and now I refuse to bully anyone because I know that feeling of the world being against you and to hate going somewhere and having to be around someone who makes you feel even worse then you already do.
After, I wrote this I saw the girl in the hallway so I decided to say something. My legs wobbled and my mouth went dry as we talked and I asked her to stop and let us end in a good note. She agreed and even offered to support me through my depression. I encourage people who feel bullied to calmly talk to the person about it. You may not get a happy ending but at least you can say that you tried. Also, I encourage people to step back and look at the things they are doing and think how it is affecting other people. I was just thinking that I wish I could share my story and then I received the email explaining the bully book and saw a glimmer of hope through my haunting depression.

The author's comments:
I really hope this piece strikes something in someone somewhere.

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