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A Time I Lost
My grade was dropping. Over the semester, no matter how many times I did the problems or studied the vocabulary, I could never seem to get the grade I wanted. It was starting to affect my other grades and my way of learning, My grades were soon slipping in other classes and worst of all my anxiety was shooting through the roof. I just couldn't get a grip after the countless bad test grades and the amount of red on my paper.Looking at the glowing screen with a big, fat, black C staring stagnant right back at me. It seemed like the room fell silent, it was hard to look at anyone because of the embarrassment and shame written all over my face. It was a fruitless effort to try and make this work. Countless talks and pleads to search for advice, but nothing seemed to come up. When I'd walk out of the room, it was slow. It felt like lead weights were strapped to my feet, the hallways looked long and dangerous. My friends would ask me what I got and all I could do was play with the fake smile and goofy laugh and say “ you don't want to know”. I felt like I didn't deserve friends as smart as they were, their reassurance killed me on the inside. I couldn't believe this was happening. I started to panic after hearing test in that class, This have must been a joke or something. The amount of time and energy put into getting that golden A I was dreaming for. Waking up in the middle of the night and looking at the small phone beside my bed, thinking maybe I could look over everything instead of trying to calm my mind down to sleep. It was a struggle, a painful struggle. But I couldn't do it, Giving up was all I could do, was all I could possibly do. So by the end of the semester when the exam came, I let it all go. I tried and did as far as my brain and body would let me. All I could remember was the paranoia, a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any minute. All I wanted was to win. Working harder and harder was all I could do. But in the end, it just wasn't enough. By the end of the semester, Another way couldn't helped, to strike a punch or a turning curve for this story. Happy endings aren't always apparent, but the purpose is to show that maybe beyond the story there's a shining light guiding it home.
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