Imagine walking down the street and you hear somebody honk their car horn while whistling at you. You try to ignore them, but they continue to slowly follow behind you in their car, shouting obscenities at you trying to get your attention. No matter how hard you try to ignore them, they continue to persist, getting louder and louder, until you finally turn around and say something, or start running, or flag someone down. Being born a female comes with its disadvantages. I am sure if you asked any woman in your life about street harassment, they will have an experience regarding it. Whether they were whistled at or honked at or they were followed home or “complimented” by men in the streets, maybe they do not even realize that they were harassed. Street harassment is damaging to women both physically and mentally. Some will say it is just a harmless compliment, but it contributes to the objectification and sexualization of women in society due to the fact of normalizing the idea that women are only there to exist for the male gaze. 

“Research published in 2010 found a direct link between the experience of street harassment and a greater preoccupation with physical appearance and body shame as well as correlating it to heightened fears of rape.” (Ditch The Label)

I can remember walking home from school with my boyfriend after stopping at Center Scoop on Main Street for some ice cream when a guy came up to me. “How are you today, pretty little lady?” he said, taking a few steps toward me. I did not know how to react and instinctively froze, glancing at my boyfriend hoping he would do something. My boyfriend grabbed me and pulled me behind him as he told the guy to back off and leave me alone. If he had not been there and stuck up for me, I do not know what would have happened to me. I was afraid and although we had plans to hang out, I decided I just wanted to go home. I was no longer comfortable being out in public, and I stayed in my house for days after that. Afraid that I would see him again while I was alone walking to my friend’s house. These types of experiences have happened to me multiple times, all of them ending with me being scared and embarrassed and filled to the brim with anxiety and not wanting to ever leave my house afterward. 

“Catcalling can lead to physical assault or sexual violence, especially if someone tries to confront or ignore the catcaller.
It is isolating, confusing, humiliating and objectifying.” (GarBo)

I can remember from a young age being told that I should always cover up and make myself seem invisible, so I would not be noticed by guys. I was taught to always walk in groups, never be alone, especially not at night, always have some form of protection, hit them where it hurts, and do not let them get close enough. My mother would take me to self-defense classes where I learned how to fight for my life at the age of 11. I can remember taking classes with the girl I considered a sister. At the time we thought it was funny and not something we would need in life, but we were wrong and naive. Young girls are told from as young as 4 that when a boy bullies them, he has a crush on them. That “boys will be boys”. They are told to ignore it and he will leave them alone, or they are told to play along. Instead of addressing the wrongdoings of the boy and teaching him that he should not hurt or be mean to the girl he likes, it is encouraged. People call their young sons “heartbreakers” and “players” and they never teach their boys how to treat the girls they like, nor teach them how to actually handle emotions so they grow up aggressive and have it blown off instead of addressed. Later in life, this can cause many girls to be abused and think that it is normal because it means he “loves” her.

“Moving on to the arms, we have the elbow, one of the best body weapons you have. A hard elbow jab to the ribs or stomach can easily wind someone and loosen the grip of a chokehold/grab from behind, creating a window of opportunity to get out and run away.” (Her Fight)

“Use your elbows. They are the strongest part of your body” they would tell me. The instructors were police officers, they told us the easiest places to hurt and the easiest ways to get away. When you are a girl,
-You always need to be aware of your surroundings
-Always be cautious of who you are talking to. 
-Always let somebody know your location in case something goes wrong. 
-Learn the landmarks and street names you see.
-Be polite.
 These are things we learn from our mothers or older sisters and cousins or aunts from a very young age. I can remember being in Ikea with my little sister, who was around seven at the time. I had walked away to help her friend's mom grab the food. “If anybody tries to talk to you or get you to come with them,” I leaned down and whispered to her, “scream FIRE instead of help, people are more likely to respond to it”. Having to explain to my little sister why it is so important to stand up for yourself and make sure people know what is happening was heartbreaking. Yet it is something we all have had to have a conversation about with the people around us. 
 
“Catcalling disproportionately affects women and it can have significant impacts and effects on their mental health, self-esteem, and feelings of safety as well as feeding into a culture of normalized sexism where a ‘harmless’ jeer opens up a gateway to violence, sexual aggression and systematic oppression.” (Ditch The Label)

On a nice, warm summer day in 2021, I was walking through a trail by my house to go over to my best friend's house across the highway. I was on my phone scrolling through Twitter when I heard footsteps behind me. I did not pay attention to them as this was a popular walking trail for people with dogs and there was a summer camp that was also in session. It was not until I heard the footsteps pick up the pace behind me that I turned around to look at who it was. I did not recognize the man, who had on a dark hoodie with the hood up and black jeans. He was slowly catching up to me, and I called my best friend. I acted inconspicuously to not let him know that I knew he was right behind me. That was until I could see him out of my peripheral vision, so I started sprinting. He followed me all the way to the park, where I got lost in the busy crowd. I collapsed into my best friend's bed as she flew open the door for me. Shaking, I told her I did not want to go home tonight and instead stayed with her for the weekend out of fear the man somehow knew where I had gone and where I lived. Although he did not say anything to me, I was not sure if he would have tried to kidnap me or said something if I had not called my best friend.

“37% of U.S. adults say they would not feel safe walking alone near their home at night. By gender, 45% of women said they do not feel safe walking alone at night, compared with 27% of men” (GarBo)

As a child, many of us assume that our parents are being overprotective or “crazy” when they make all of these rules about being alone. I know in my family my mom always made us use the “buddy system” which is if you are going out, you need to have at least one person with you. She would also tell us “in front of me, beside me, but not behind me” when we were out in public at the store or at my older brother's baseball games. She always told us we had to stay in her eyesight, or she would make my younger siblings and cousin stay with me. Since I was the oldest of the six of us when my brother and cousin were too busy playing baseball. I always rolled my eyes at her and disobeyed her rules. Dragging my younger siblings and cousins around with me to places my mom otherwise would not let us go, like the trail behind our old apartment buildings. This was until one day we were all gathered in my living room on a Wednesday night in the middle of winter. It was snowing and my mom was making dinner in the kitchen. I can remember smelling the garlic bread while watching my brother play Five Nights at Freddy’s on our 2012 Samsung Tablets when someone knocked on the window. Right above our heads. My little cousin grabbed my sister and carried her out of the room when my older brother screamed. Some middle-aged man was staring back at us through the blinds of the window that we had closed. My younger brother and I ran to get my dad and uncle while my older brother and cousin watched the guy. By the time we had gotten back, the guy had run off. Although that experience had happened at my house and not in the woods, I did not know the man, nor if he had known us. It scared little 7-year-old me so much that I started listening to my mom. Every time my younger family members tried to get me to do anything remotely dangerous I would freak out. I was fearful of everybody, always wanting to stay by my mom and never walking behind her after that for a long time.

“Stalking victims suffer much higher rates of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and social dysfunction than the general population” (NCADV)

Although I do not think that my experience was a case of stalking, I do know a few people in my own life that have dealt with a stalker. I have been able to see how it has affected them firsthand. It caused them to completely take a 180 turn with their personality. They were not the same person afterward. Considering social media has become widespread throughout the world within the past decade, it has become easier to stalk people both in real life and online. Having people constantly watching your every move without the possibility of you noticing. In my own personal life, there have been multiple times when random people on Instagram have commented on my posts giving very weird compliments and messaging me with heart-eye emojis. A few weeks ago my best friend and I were in the library when some guy commented a really weird comment on her Instagram and started messaging her very strange things about her body. We thought it was really funny at the time and started just trolling him back but we still do not know his intentions.
 Social media is a tool that can be used to track people, it gathers your information and is, unfortunately, easy for people to gain access to. Even if the person using social media has yet to realize it.  Many examples of this happen every year, even at our own Dunkin’ Donuts, people log onto their “public Wi-Fi” but after finding out that this Dunkin’ does not even have a Wi-Fi set up at all, it leads you to wonder who’s Wi-Fi you are connecting to and who is collecting your data - and for what purpose are they doing so? This can happen anywhere to anybody, just like social media. Whatever you put out there will be out there for anybody to see and know anything they want about you from your social media, from your public records, people can figure it out no matter how private you are, and they can do so without you even knowing.

“Online gender-based violence can have significant psychological, social, and economic impacts. Most directly, it affects women’s freedom of expression” (GEHWeb)

When women are online posting about the things they do, where they go, who they are with, or when they do certain things, it aids creepy people to figure out their daily schedule.  They find out when they are on vacation, when they go to the store, where they live, and everything about their lives. When people learn everything about you, it can kindle a sort of parasocial relationship. Parasocial relationships are something that you see a lot when it comes to celebrities. When people interact with someone so much online, whether the celebrity replies or not, it causes them to think that they are friends with the celebrity. I guess you can call them delusional in a way, but this is the main cause of stalking when it comes to celebrities. People assume they have the right to know everything about them and their lives. This kind of stalking also happens to regular people who post on social media, even a little bit. People feel entitled to know everything about each other and this is damaging. Feeling entitled to people’s livelihoods not only rots your brain but it is creepy.

“Individuals who have personal thoughts about their favorite celebrity frequently, feel compelled to learn more about them, pursue them consistently, threaten to harm them, and are prone to boredom were more likely to engage in celebrity stalking.” (NCBI)

The presence of social media can be used as a tactic for sex trafficking and kidnapping. This is becoming more prevalent in today's society, people are scared to let their children run around in the streets like they used to. People are too worried about their children going missing, never to be seen again. It is all you see in the news, online, from your friends, it has become a scary world. We teach our children and people around us about “stranger danger,” not to trust the people around you, ever, because we assume it will keep them safe. Most of the time it does, but it also does not. Traffickers have tactics, which we should start teaching the younger generation about so they can keep an eye out. Some examples are;
-Honey on the windshield
-Napkin in the door handle
-Hiding under the car
-Put a tissue in the gas pump (while pumping gas)
-Zip Tie on a door handle
-Asking for help (lost puppy, in pain, can not reach something)
-“Loverboy” tactic (making young people fall in love with them and then trapping them)
-Grooming (online and in real life)
-AirTags on cars and bags
Human and sex traffickers use so many different tactics to lure in young women. Many times we are taught as children about these tactics, but sometimes they just pass by us and we do not realize what they mean. 

“It is estimated that between 15,000 to 50,000 women and children are forced into sexual slavery in the United States every year” (DeliverFund)

I remember as a child hearing stories about human traffickers hiding under girls' cars and cutting their achilles heel as they were stepping into their car. This was one of my biggest fears even though I could not and still can not drive. I would always check under our car before getting in and then I would check the back seat. It was always just me and my mom going on grocery trips so two young women out and about had me constantly worried about somebody targeting us. Growing up my mom never really explained to me why I was not allowed to be out of her sight or why she would not let me be alone with people she did not know or trust. It was not until I had gotten a phone that she sat me down and told me that I would be going to 6th grade across town and not have her there with me anymore, so I needed to have a phone. She told me that it was in case somebody had tried to take me when I was walking to and from the bus stop. I did not fully understand why she was so worried, why I needed it for emergencies, or why somebody would try to take me. Around this time was also when she put me into self-defense classes with my Girl Scout troop. Thinking back I assume she was just trying to protect me, but I believe giving me a full explanation would have made me understand why it was so important for me to know what I had to look out for.

“Knowing the signs of trafficking can help give a voice to children. Sometimes children won't understand that what's happening to them is wrong. Or they might be scared to speak out.” (NSPC)

Overall, it can be said that street harassment causes women and girls to feel anxious and frightened daily. Women and girls are taught from a young age how to protect themselves against men and boys that say or do inappropriate things to them. Adults play off boys' actions with “boys will be boys” and “Oh he just thinks you are cute” instead of telling their daughters that that is not true and will never be true, even though it should not be justified or excused. These excuses for boys’ behavior cause young girls to recede from society and can cause hatred toward certain things, as well as developing a fear of particular conditions. These are the effects of harassment such as whistling, stalking, inappropriate comments, honking, and more. Many women go through this and sometimes do not even realize that it was a problem that they have faced in their life, especially young girls or older women who were not taught these things when they were younger. In order for women to feel safe out in public, online, and in their homes, we all need to figure out why we as a society excuse men’s actions and notice what it is that causes them to harass women. Once we have figured that out, we need to teach young boys about consent and what is right and wrong. We need to get rid of the phrase “boys will be boys” and instead talk to our daughters about these boys' behaviors and address the boys' behavior from the beginning instead of letting it happen

“A Female's Perspective on Catcalling.” Ditch The Label, 8 March, 2017, ditchthelabel.org/a-females-perspective-on-catcalling/ 
Avondale, Kendja. “Catcalling Kills: Defining the Impacts of Street Harassment.” Garbo, 2 August, 2021, garbo.io/blog/catcalling-street-harassment 
“Child trafficking” NSCPP. nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/child-trafficking/ Accessed 11 May, 2023.
Dehingia, Nabamallika. “When social media is sexist: A call to action against online gender-based violence” GEHWeb. 13 May, 2020, gehweb.ucsd.edu/social-media-sexist-online-gender-based-violence/ 
“Facts About Human Trafficking in the US” DeliverFund. 17 April, 2020, deliverfund.org/blog/facts-about-human-trafficking-in-united-states/#:~:text=It%20is%20estimated%20that%20between,is%20very%20difficult%20to%20research. 
“Predicting the stalking of celebrities from measures of persistent pursuit and threat directed toward celebrities, sensation seeking and celebrity worship” NCBI. 01 March, 2023, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9977013/#:~:text=Individuals%20who%20have%20personal%20thoughts,to%20engage%20in%20celebrity%20stalking. 
“Quick Guide to Stalking: 16 Important Statistics, and What You Can Do About It” NCADV. 30 January, 2017, ncadv.org/blog/posts/quick-guide-to-stalking-16-important-statistics-and-what-you-can-do-about-it 

“Statistics - The Prevalence of Street Harassment.” Stop Street Harassment.
stopstreetharassment.org/resources/statistics/statistics-academic-studies/#top Accessed 11 April, 2023.
Stroh, Caroline. “College Consortium: Sexual Harassment and Catcalling on College Campuses: What Colleges Could Be Doing Better” MCASA, 9 Nov. 2021, mcasa.org/newsletters/article/college-consortium-sexual-harassment-and-catcalling-on-college-campuses#:~:text=Many%20women%20report%20feeling%20unsafe,emotional%20harm%20from%20being%20catcalled. 
“The Strongest Parts of Your Body to Strike With” Her Fight. 30 December, 2020, herxfight.com/post/the-strongest-parts-of-your-body-to-strike-with#:~:text=Moving%20on%20to%20the%20arms,get%20out%20and%20run%20away.