How Nannies Are Taking Over the Role of Parenthood | Teen Ink

How Nannies Are Taking Over the Role of Parenthood

October 10, 2018
By Anonymous

What has become of this world. Rarely students are seen with their parents. It’s always nanny this or nanny that. At this point nannies should just take legal guardianship of their kids. Parents so rarely see their child that they do not even know who they are anymore. They miss the big events and the small ones, the awards and the punishments too. Frankly, what even is a parent these days. Apparently, a parent is someone who has a child and a nanny is someone who is employed by the parent to look after them.

There are approximately over half a million nannies in the United States alone. Nannies make just about half of the average national salary. The average salary in the United States is $50,000. (Doyle) Parents work on average eight hours a day and in over sixty percent of families both parents work. Dual-income families are working to provide for the extra hand at the house. The cost of raising a child is over $200,000 by the time they turn eighteen, and with multiple children the cost continues to rise tremendously. (TIME) The number, on average, of kids that a family has is two and roughly twenty-five percent of families hire full time nannies.

The solution is quite simple: parents shall sell their kids. Make sure you get rid of them young because as they age they lose their monetary value. People want in on the cute laughing babies, not the rude snobby teenagers. They want to be the only image in the child's head, they don’t want them to have memories of the parent who got rid of them for their own benefit. In adoption, the numbers are outstanding in those who want the younger kids compared to the older ones and the older children that are left in foster homes usually live with depression and make bad decisions. Everyone wants to know when a child goes through the “firsts”: the first tooth, the first steps, the first word, and the first day of school.

Why should they need their children when they are never home? The benefits are numerous. Having not children nipping at your nose and pulling at your toes means more freetime to yourself. No more skyrocketing medical bills and daycare costs. No more dance performances and no more soccer games. No more dirty diapers and no more snotty noses. Instead you can go to concerts and parties all night long. Honestly, children wear you out between the 2 am feedings and the busy schedules. You can lay on the beach and take a vacation around the world. And why would you need to be a parent anyway when your child’s nose is buried into the hustle and bustle of the online world. Your schedule is now just an entirely blank canvas waiting to be painted with adult-only activities.

However, some stipulations hold you back. The issue on the table is that trafficking of children is illegal. (UNICEF) But nobody would ever find out. In the world, twenty-five percent of human-trafficking victims are children. Why spend the time to make kids if you’re just going to sell them? You’ll get paid for your time, and you will no longer be labeled as a terrible person for your lack of offspring interactions. The heartwrenching state of order though is that you will be lonely. Family traditions will be terminated and your branch of lifelong stability to lean on will snap to the ground. This situation would be a chain reaction, and before long, everyone would be selling their children, so who would even want to buy them?

In the long run, parents will be more economically stable and able to do the activities they want to do. They can save the $200,000 per kid and spend it during retirement, or save it for when the days get dark and money seems tight. Parents will no longer have to go through the hassle of finding a safe, hardworking, and devoted nanny. They can spend their day to days working and their breaks relaxing instead of looking after many little feet.

The real solution is parents finding jobs that accomodate to a lifestyle with kids. Jobs such as being a teacher where you only work during the hours your children are in school are the best. But other jobs like nursing offer shifts that you can take to best fit your schedule. You should stray away from jobs such as on-call doctors where you have to leave your family in a flash and on-the-move jobs like pilots and flight attendants. In addition, why do both parents need to work? Instead of being like the Smiths and Jones people should focus more on being like the Cleavers or the Brady Bunch. In the past, family design was for one parent to stay home and take care of the children. While not hiring nannies would put some out of work, it may push those people to strive for a higher level of education and get better jobs. In the end families could overall be stronger.

While the epidemic of nannies should not be abolished, parents should stop and ask themselves if they know their children. How are they doing in school? What is their favorite color? What are they most upset about? Take a break every now and then and hire a babysitter for a date night, but don’t pay your kids away by hiring an additional full-time guardian.

Though in the end quitting your job and having to find new work is just not reasonable. The monetary and figurative benefits are too great to impede. Your children are not necessary. Save yourself the time, and a whole lot of money and get rid of them as soon as possible. List them on websites like eBay and Craigslist, and get your bang for your buck; Start planning those Caribbean vacations too because it won’t be long until you have all the time to yourself.


The author's comments:

Satire written for my senior honors english class.

 

Works Cited

“Child Trafficking.” UNICEF USA.

Doyle, Alison. “How Much Is the Average Salary for US Workers?” The Balance Careers, Dash, 14 Aug. 2018.

Gajanan, Mahita. “Raising a Child Now Costs $233,610 | Money.” Time, Time, 9 Jan. 2017.


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