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Adivce to Young Murderers
After I was informed that I would have to talk, I pondered about what exactly I should discuss. I was told that I have to teach the youth of great killing potential about the art of murder, a topic that I am well versed in and can teach much about. There are a few major tips that I desire to tell to the young criminals. First, though I will say to you, my soon to be assassins, everything I say, I say with a great wealth of knowledge.
Pick the right murder weapon when the time comes. Many brush this off but you need to train yourself in a specific murderous tool in order to make your kills as efficient as possible. There are many killing machine options to choose from including guns, knives, and your own hands, but when you are choosing your weapon, choose wisely. Once you have killed a few times with your special device you will notice many outstanding improvements.
Only kill within the hours of sundown to sunrise. While killing during the day may seem exhilarating, the risk of killing while the sun is up is extremely high. When the sun goes down, the criminals come out. You will surely not be the only one committing crimes, as when it comes to nighttime, convicts greatly outnumber the police force. When the police are chasing after some other felon, you can be creating art by destroying life.
Go after those who are easy to kill until you are ready for the challenge. At the beginning there is going to be some hesitation, which can lead to mistakes, and moves that may enable others to see you. The most common mistake made by a novice murderer is being seen by your victim and then your victim escaping. Becoming a great assassin takes time. Once you get comfortable with killing, you can move on to harder kills. You must work your way up the ladder and there is no skipping steps.
Only murder. If you do end up being the murderer that you are so bent on becoming you cannot become an alcoholic, drug addict, or felon. If you are under the influence you are bound to mess up the craft and as a result you no longer deserve to learn the artistry of murder. If you kill, you are a murderer, that is your identity. Too many boys and girls try to become thieves as well as murderers. These younglings are the ones who never hone in the true skill that is seen in those who are exclusively murderers have. Specializing in different fields is not possible if you are in the field of killing.
Do not expose your dark tendencies unless you are in the act. If you live every second of every day as you do when you are with a victim, the flux of energy that you get when killing will go away. The best part about becoming a murderer is that feeling that you get right before you go in for the kill. Those who are alienated in society are deemed as psychotic and the moment that you are considered psychotic is the moment in which there will be somebody constantly watching your every move. If it means you need to put up a façade every day, that is an action that you must undertake in order to keep your true dazzling self from shining.
Don’t get caught. If you do happen to get caught you will never be viewed the same by anyone who does not appreciate your work. Most people will not acknowledge your great strides and therefore will look at you like you have committed some awful act such as rape. Do not let these nonbelievers convince you to no longer murder. You may become imprisoned for your macabre talent but once you are released you will go right back to killing. The rush that murdering leads to exceeds any high that drugs can give you. In order though to not have to take a solemn pause, do not get caught.
I have now given enough information to make killing much easier for you. You must absorb what I have just told you. If you follow these tips you will indubitably become an unstoppable executioner of the night.
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This piece is based off of Jonathan Swifts Advice to Youth.