Christi's Prom Night , A Night To DIE For???? | Teen Ink

Christi's Prom Night , A Night To DIE For????

August 31, 2010
By thalialisset SILVER, Jamaica, New York
thalialisset SILVER, Jamaica, New York
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't Judge Its Book By It's Cover

While Christi walked to school, she kept thinking about the prom night. Christi hurried through her schoolwork as fast as she could. It was the night of the high school dance, along about 70 years ago in the town of Kingsville, Texas.

She has been thinking about going to that prom ever since homeroom. The girl was so excited about the dance. She had bought a brand new, sparkly red dress for the dance. She knew she looked smashing in it. It was going to be the best evening of her life.
She kept telling her best friends Taylor and Thalia about her dress. They got annoyed with it. But Taylor and Thalia couldn’t go. Their parents said no. They were very devastated. They were annoyed with her repeating stuff about the prom.
Christi was so excited about the dance.
When she got home she saw her mom. Her mom was looking pale and determined.
"You are not going to that dance," her mother said.
"But why?" Christi asked her mother.
"I've just been talking to the preacher. He says the dance is going to be for the devil. You are absolutely forbidden to go," her mother said.
Christi nodded as if she accepted her mother's words. She heard her conscience saying don’t do it. It’s for your own good. But she was determined to go to the dance. As soon as her mother was busy, she put on her brand new red dress and ran down to the K.C. Hall where the dance was being held.
As soon as she walked into the room, all the guys turned to look at her. She was startled by all the attention. Normally, no one noticed her. Her mother sometimes accused her of being too awkward to get a boyfriend. But she was not awkward that night. The boys in her class were fighting with each other to dance with her.
Later, she broke away from the crowd and went to the table to get some punch to drink. The song was really deafening. She couldn’t hear herself drink punch. She heard a sudden hush. The music stopped. When she turned, she saw a handsome man with jet black hair and clothes standing next to her.
"Dance with me," he said.
She managed to stammer a "yes", completely stunned by this gorgeous man. She was distracted by his looks. She said yes without thinking. He led her out on the dance floor. The music sprang up at once. She found herself dancing better than she had ever danced before. That was really bizarre. She couldn’t dance. They were the center of attention.
Then the man spun her around and around. She gasped for breath, trying to step out of the spin. But he spun her faster and faster. Her feet felt hot. The floor seemed to melt under her. He spun her even faster. She was spinning so fast that a cloud of dust flew up around them both so that they were hidden from the crowd.
When the dust settled, Christi was gone. The man in black bowed once to the crowd and disappeared. The devil had come to his party and he had spun the girl all the way to hell. That night nobody knew what happened to her. But the policemen saw that her shoe marks were shown on the floor.

The author's comments:
The story I wrote was inspired from the news. The news was about a teenage girl who went to the prom but it was a mystery on who killed her. In my story , the devil took her away.I hope you guys like my story.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Dec. 9 2011 at 8:51 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

I would have to agree with MercyChristine.  Your beginning seems like it was written for a child, but the ending seems like it was written when you were more mature.  Again, you need to put your dialogue on a separate line and describe your characters more.  Show, don't tell.

on Dec. 5 2011 at 7:07 pm
thalialisset SILVER, Jamaica, New York
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't Judge Its Book By It's Cover

thxxxx...i  wrote this in  6th  grade....srry bout that...i  can  edit it and rewrite in  in  a different prespective...or  point of view......thznks though....:)


on Dec. 5 2011 at 7:46 am
MercyChristine GOLD, Oak Grove, Minnesota
10 articles 7 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
oh shnykeis!

the beginning was kind of awkward- kind of like it was written by a little kid, but the ending was better.  I liked your story line, though.  very interesting idea