10

He set the watch down. Ten minutes left to live. He eyed the timer he’d set for himself. Just watched it. The certain gloomy satisfaction which had prompted him to time his last minutes ebbed from him, and he simply watched. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel sorry, not now. All the fight was gone, sapped away by endless days of starvation. For he had fought, at first. Frenzied attempts to contact someone, anyone. Scouring the entire pod for something, anything that could free him from his metal prison. But of course there was no escape. He was trapped, helpless, drifting far beneath the ocean’s surface. He could feel it now, the relentless pressure of the limitless waves around him, threatening to crush the frail metal walls around him. He shivered.

9

He’d used up a lot of precious air those first two days. Wasted it. Not that he regretted a moment. He didn’t laugh, didn’t shudder - but imagine the torture of even one hour’s more worth of survival, sixty minutes of undesired life. He didn’t try. Nine more minutes. In nine minutes it would all be over. No more of this abject solitude he had endured for far too long. 

8

And maybe it would be just that easy. Eight minutes. Maybe, he could just take that one last breath, that final gulp of air, then - nothing. He closed his eyes. He could imagine that. The nothing. The emptiness. The absolute emptiness. And silence. But he wouldn’t have to listen to this silence; no, never again would he have to hear the emptiness surround him again. Because, wasn’t he already dead? Already dead - but when he was dead, he wouldn’t know it. And that was all he really wanted now, all he craved. Oblivion.

7

He lowered himself to the ground. Only waiting now. Waiting for what? He didn’t know, couldn’t. Could anyone, really? Of course, all his life, people had claimed to know, all kinds of people. But they didn’t know. No one knew, not really. So he hoped, at least. He laughed a little. It was easy to laugh, somehow, so close to the end. Only seven minutes left. Hoped. But for what? For nothing. For hope. That somehow he’d get lucky, and there would be an end. That when the end came, there wouldn’t be any fire and brimstone involved.

6

But he couldn’t laugh, not now. And he didn’t know why, really. Of course he was joking. Six minutes would tick by on his watch, and then - what? (And then what?) He would die. That was truth, the only truth he’d acknowledged for so long, he supposed it was the only one that mattered. He’d lived his whole life according to that truth, that one day, he would die. (But then what?) What indeed? He didn’t know. No one did. It was all unknown. And people who claimed otherwise were liars and charlatans, tricksters trying to take advantage of fools. Or they were fools themselves. Superstitious weaklings with their crutch of “faith”. Deluded into worshipping a judgemental, power-hungry “god”. Busy trying to guilt other people with their holier-than-thou behavior. Afraid of a figment of their imagination. Afraid their “god” would condemn them to hell. Hypocrites. (But what if they’re not?)

5

Sweat beaded on his brow. (What if they’re right?) His mind flitted back, back to his childhood. The childhood he’d forgotten, hadn’t cared to remember. His mom and dad always dragging him to church. It’s just what you did in those days. Until his dad left. They hadn’t gone back. Not that he needed to. By that time, he wasn’t a stupid kid anymore, wasn’t able to be duped by all the old-fashioned superstition there. Unbidden to his mind came a verse, a Bible verse. He must have memorized it long ago, in Vacation Bible School or somewhere. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans. It was from Romans.) He let his mind pass over it. “All have sinned” - (All meant him too, right?) Only if there were a god, some all-powerful, all-knowing being who created this cosmos.

4

More words and memories were slipping into his brain. He supposed he was hallucinating. But he couldn’t really tell. The only thing he knew was that he would be dead in four minutes. And that was the only thing that mattered. (Or was it?) he couldn’t tell. He was hearing voices now, seeing faces. His mom, dad, both dead now. His Sunday School teacher, Ms. - funny, he couldn’t remember her name now. Gold. Whenever he remembered her, he only saw the color gold. Why was that? (She always carried the strangest book around with her Bible. ) It had been a strange book. A thin, strange book. A book with only colors. He’d asked her about it once. She had smiled. (“It’s called the ‘Wordless Book’. Instead of using words to tell the story, it uses colors. I’d like to tell you a wonderful story from this book.”) He’d loved stories. So when she paused, he didn’t interrupt.  (“It's my favorite story in the whole world! One thing that makes it so special is that it's a true story - right from God's Word, the Bible.”) A true story, she’d said. And she’d never lied to him. She opened the book, opened the cover. The first page was gold. Shiny golden paper. He’d been mesmerized. (“The story begins on the gold page. It reminds me of the street of gold in Heaven that the Bible talks about. Do you know who lives in heaven? God does and He wants you to be in Heaven with Him some day.) To be wanted. Now that was a new experience for a kid whose own parents he’d annoyed to death. They’d told him so countless times that they didn’t want him. But Ms. - Gold? She said he was wanted. (“You usually like to be with people you love, don't you? That's why God wants you to be with Him in Heaven - He loves you very much! In the Bible, God's Word, He says, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’ That means that God loved you even before you were born! You could put your name in there and say, ‘God has loved me with an everlasting love.’ and it would be just as true.) True. It would be true. (“God wants you to be in Heaven someday with Him, but there is something that can keep you from being there - sin.”)

3

He started, or thought he did. ( For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.) Ms. Gold’s eyes grew troubled, and very, very serious. Very gently, she flipped the page over. The gold disappeared, replaced by a page of black paper. (“This dark page reminds me of the darkness of sin. Sin is the bad things that people do. It is anything that you do or say or think or even feel that is against God. It is things like lying, cheating, disobeying your parents, fighting with brothers or sisters or not being kind to someone. The Bible says that everyone has sinned; it plainly says, ‘for all have sinned.’ When the Bible says, ‘all have sinned’, that includes both you and me too, doesn't it?) He had to suppose it did. (“Yes, you and I and everybody else in the whole world have sinned and done wrong things. The Bible says you and I were born with a kind of "want to" to do wrong. Your mother didn't have to teach you how to disobey, did she?) His mother had never had to teach him to disobey her, that was a fact. He’d shaken his head. (“Neither did mine. You probably get punished for doing wrong things at home, don't you?) He’d wriggled a little uncomfortably in his seat about that. (“Those are the kinds of things God calls sin. God has a punishment for sin. It is to be separated from Him forever in a place of punishment the Bible calls Hell.) Separation. That’s what was coming. That’s what the emptiness, the silence was. A separation. (“But God doesn't want that. Remember, He loves you and wants you to be in Heaven with Him someday. In fact, He wants to be your Heavenly Father right now. But if I were to end the story right now it would seem like no one is going to heaven. Because God will not allow sin in Heaven and everyone has sinned! But God made a way for the problem of sin to be taken care of: The red page tells about that.”)

2

(She’d flipped the page. A blood-red paper loomed before his gaze. “Jesus is God's perfect Son, He is God the Son. That means that He is God and He became a man and lived a perfect life. The Lord Jesus was the only person in all of history to ever live His entire life without sinning.

You would think that everyone would love someone like that, and yet when He grew up, wicked men took the Lord Jesus and nailed Him to a wooden cross. This red page reminds me that they left Him there to bleed and die.

When He died He was taking the punishment for something He didn't even do. He was willingly taking the punishment for every sin that you and I and everyone in the world has ever done. The punishment was to die. And the Lord Jesus knew that the only way that your sin could be forgiven would be if He would die for you. Jesus died for your sins. The Bible says that ‘without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.’ As He died, the Lord Jesus said, "It is finished." Everything that needed to be done for your sins to be taken away had been done by Him on the cross. They buried His body. But three days later He proved that He could take away your sins and give you everlasting life by coming back to life! And without dying again, He returned to Heaven, where He is today. Because Jesus is God's Son who died for you, you can become His child right now!”)

1

One minute left. Sixty seconds left to live. She had turned the page over, to a white page, a clean, snow-white page. (“You remember that God loves you so much and wants to be your Heavenly Father and have you live with Him in Heaven someday. But your sin separates you from Him. That's why He sent His Son, the Lord Jesus to die on the cross for you. The Bible says, ‘For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life, through Christ Jesus our Lord.’ God has offered you this gift.)

:30

(“The Bible says, ‘If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.’) Saved. Saved from eternal separation. Saved from the emptiness, from the silence. (She closed the book, looked him in the eye. “If you believe that Jesus, God's Son died for your sins on the cross and rose again, would you tell God right now? Tell him  that you know you have sinned, that you believe Jesus, God's Son, died for you and rose again, and that you are inviting Him to be your Savior and your Heavenly Father.”)

:15

(“You could pray something like this:

Dear God,

I know that I have sinned and done wrong against you. I believe that Jesus is God's Son and that He took the punishment for all my sins by dying on the cross. I believe He came back to life again. I receive you now as my only Savior from sin. Thank you for saving me from eternal separation from you as you promised. In Jesus' name, amen.”)

:10

Ten seconds left. Ten seconds left to live, and the most important decision in the world to make. There was still time, still time. Ten seconds left to chose. Ten seconds until the air was gone, until his soul emptied from his body. Ten seconds until oblivion, until silence, and emptiness, and forever separation. Ten seconds unless - unless…

:00