The year 1923. The pleasant middle-class American home of the Dalton family, New York, New York. George Dalton, 19, the older of two siblings, sits listening to the radio.

Radio Announcer: ...and that was the latest from Duke Ellington. Hear it here first, on the Lifebuoy Soap jazz hour. Lifebuoy soap - for health! Buy it at - (George switches off the radio)

George: C’mon, enough of your horsefeathers. I’m looking for music, not soap.

The doorbell rings George crosses and opens the door. The ringer is Arthur Peters, a classmate of George’s.

George: Arthur! Come on in.

Arthur: Hey, George. (Looking around)Is Alice around?

George: Alice? What do you want her for?

Arthur: You know that Ford my pa just got? He said I could have it for the afternoon - I was wondering if she wanted to go for a spin with me. (Pause.) George looks at him suspiciously. And, you, if you wanted.

George: Wise up, Arthur. I wouldn’t trust you with my own life in one of those struggle buggies, let alone that of my baby sister. Besides, Alice is out right now.

Arthur: Too bad, too. Well, I guess I’ll be going then. (He turns to leave. George stops him.)

George: Hang on a second - you think you can just breeze in here and ask for my little sister, then just stroll on out like nothing happened?

Arthur: Hey, now, no need to get offended, I invited you too -

George: (Interrupting) You might as well not have, how clear it is you just want to go park somewhere with her -

Arthur: (Only escalating the tension) You’re all wet, George! Park? Who said anything about parking?

George: Alice isn’t one of those flapper types, you know? She’s a respectable girl, so keep your hands off -

Arthur: Yeah, never mind, she’s a Jane anyway -

George: Oh, she’s a Jane now? You take that back -

The two close on each other, and are just about to come to blows when the door opens again, and Alice, George’s younger sister, enters, and gives the two a skeptical look.

Arthur: (Hurriedly breaking away from the impending fight) Oh, Alice, good afternoon.

George: George was just leaving.

Arthur: I just  got here. I could stay a little longer.

Alice steps between the two men before they can resume fighting. She is a far cry from the ‘flapper type’, as George said, but it’s clear that she’s been at least somewhat influenced by the new ideas sweeping through the city.

Alice: Look, you two, turn on the radio - I ran all the way from Edith’s - the president’s dying!

George: What?
Arthur: Say you’re lying!

George quickly turns the radio back on. The Announcer’s voice returns, excited and frantic.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the sad news has just reached us by cable that President Harding, has suddenly passed away at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, while speaking with his wife.

The three are shocked and say nothing.

Announcer: Vice President Calvin Coolidge is expected to be inaugurated soon. This is certain to be a day long lived in America’s history as one of great loss and mourning.

George Switches off the radio.

George: I think that’s enough of that.

Alice: Just like that, huh. In the middle of his western tour and everything, not even at home.

Arthur: His poor wife…

Alice: Poor Calvin Coolidge. How would you like to suddenly be President of the United States?

Arthur: I mean, I wouldn’t mind all that much…

Alice: You say that, but think of all the things you’d have to worry about.

More silence.

George: Harding was a good guy. I’m sure going to miss him.

Alice: I think everyone is. How can you replace such a friendly man with that silent Calvin Coolidge?

Arthur: I mean, the scandals can’t be any worse.

George: That’s true. Unless Coolidge is secretly also in the Ohio Gang.

Arthur: Oh, Lord, don’t let it be. I couldn’t stand to listen to the radio if we had another Teapot Dome.

Alice: Would you two listen to yourselves? Can’t you save the criticism for at least the day after a man dies? It wasn’t his fault that his cabinet was a bunch of goons -

George: Well, sort of, it was -

Alice: Hush. You’d appoint your friends, too, if you were president. And besides, he did a lot for some folks, like laborers and immigrants.

George: I suppose so. But times being so great, how much help do laborers need?

Alice: Times are better when you’re not working 12 hours a day on the railroad.

George: Sure, but its getting better for everyone - soon we’ll all be rich!

Arthur: You really believe that? Look at those farmers out west. Times aren’t so good for them.

George: They will be, just you watch. Everything’s just going up from here. Hey, maybe if they buy some stocks, they can make a fortune like some of the folks ‘round here!

Alice: Anyway, Arthur, what brought you here in the first place?

Arthur: Oh…. looks at George, then proceeds anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride in my dad’s Ford this afternoon.
Alice: Would I!? That sounds swell. Anything to lighten the mood after poor Harding.

Arthur: Great - it’s right outside. See you later, George!

Alice and Arthur exit, and George rises to follow them.

George: Hey, hold on - hold on! You said I could come too!

As he leaves, he accidentally bumps the radio. It turns on once again.

Announcer: And that’s the news, ladies and gentlemen. Rest in peace, President Harding. And now, back to the Lifebuoy jazz hour, sponsored by Lifebuoy. Lifebuoy soap - for health!

Curtain