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My Best Friend is a Vampire
(All of stage is dark. Then all lights come on, showing the stage set as an empty school hallway. Enter SENNA and RYDER, walking down the hall.)
RYDER: (annoyed) I didn’t understand the lesson at all! How on earth is the quadratic formula supposed to help me with English homework?
SENNA: (confused) I think you’re getting something mixed up. It should help with Algebra homework, not English.
RYDER: Well then why didn’t Mr. I’m-So-Good-At-Math say that?
SENNA: (sighs) How about you come over to my house this afternoon after school and I’ll help you with your homework?
RYDER: (grins hugely) Really, Senna? That’d be great!
SENNA: (laughing as Ryder pulls her into a playful bearhug) No problem, Ryder.
(All lights on. Stage is set as a comfortable living room. SENNA and RYDER are sitting on the sofa, doing math homework.)
SENNA: So instead of factoring the quadratic equation, you can use the quadratic formula.
SENNA: So when you do this, take the a, b, and c values and plug them into the formula where it says a, b, or c. Then just solve for x.
RYDER: Hm. It’s actually starting to make sense now!
SENNA: (smiles, and then picks up the textbook and points to a problem) Here, try this one first.
(SENNA sits while RYDER tries the problem on his own. Enter RAELINN.)
RAELINN: Hey kids, how’re you doing there? Need a snack to keep you going?
SENNA: (slightly awkwardly) Um, no thanks, Mom. I’m good.
RYDER: Ooh, yes please! Do you have Doritos?
RAELINN: I believe so. I’ll go grab you a bag.
(RAELINN exits, and RYDER and SENNA resume homework.)
RYDER: Hey, Senna, is this right?
SENNA: Let me see. Yeah, x = 13 or x = -4. Good job! You got it!
RYDER: Finally! (Has a slightly awkward look on his face and appears to be trying to get up the nerve to ask SENNA something.) Hey, Senna?
SENNA: (Putting homework away) Hmm?
RYDER: Are you okay?
SENNA: Y-yeah, why?
RYDER: You didn’t eat anything for lunch, and you aren’t eating anything now. So I just wondered if you felt sick or something.
SENNA: No, there’s a different reason I’m not eating. (slaps hand over mouth) I shouldn’t have said that.
RYDER: Whaddaya mean, there’s a different reason?
SENNA: I really shouldn’t have said that.
RYDER: Senna, what do you mean? You keep saying that and I don’t get it!
(SENNA opens her mouth to answer but is cut off by a crash from backstage, aka the kitchen.)
RYDER: What was that?
SENNA: I don’t know.
RAELINN: (nervously) Senna, honey, everything’s fine. Hey, why don’t you and Ryder go out for ice cream?
SENNA: Mom, what’s going on?
RAELINN: Senna, just take Ryder and get out of here!
SENNA: Not until you tell me what’s going on!
RYDER: (urgently) Senna, I just saw a shadow outside of the window…
RAELINN: It’s them! It’s THEM!
RYDER: What’s going on? Who’s them?
SENNA: (sighs) It’s the Bloody Thirst. They’re a clan of vampires. The strongest ones there are.
RYDER: (completely freaked out) VAMPIRES?!?! WHY ARE THEY HERE?!?!
SENNA: Yes, and my family is actually a clan of friendly vampires. We only hunt animals, and the occasional criminal. Our clan name is the Midnight Ashes. For some reason the Bloody Thirst hate us and are always trying to kill my clan.
RYDER: (in a sort of strangled whimper) My best friend is a vampire…
SENNA: I’m so sorry, Ryder. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way!
RAELINN: Kids, you need to leave now! Before they-
(RAELINN is cut off by the sound of the back door being slammed open. Then we hear sounds of a short struggle, and then absolute silence. SENNA and RYDER sit petrified the entire time. After it ends, SENNA is the first to move or make a sound.)
SENNA: (in a hoarse, strangled whisper) Mom…
RYDER: What just happened? Did they just...kill...your mom?
(SENNA opens her mouth to answer, but is cut off by three vampires striding onstage. Enter LIAM, REDWICK, and DARREN.)
REDWICK: Yes, we did, little bloodsucker.
LIAM: Your precious mommy is dead.
DARREN: (laughing cruelly, turns to LIAM and REDWICK) Can you smell the fear?
REDWICK: Yes, so much fear!
SENNA: (trembling slightly) I-I’m not afraid, you demons! I know all of you! Liam, Redwick, Darren! I have no fear!
LIAM: Dear, dear me, that’s a lie. No matter, though, little vampire. We were talking about your young friend over there. Ryder, did you say his name was?
(RYDER whimpers, and LIAM, REDWICK, and DARREN laugh.)
SENNA: Leave Ryder alone! It’s me you want, not him!
REDWICK: Ah, but little leech, we are thirsty. As for the weakling, he will provide fresh blood for us. We will feast tonight!
DARREN: What Redwick means, little bloodsucker, is that we want him to suffer.
LIAM: And we want it to happen by your hand!
(SENNA gasps, speechless. DARREN, LIAM, and REDWICK laugh in her face.)
REDWICK: Yes, little vampire girl.
(REDWICK begins to talk in a gentle, compelling voice, trying to coax SENNA’s vampire side to attack RYDER)
REDWICK: Smell the sweet scent of the boy's blood...simply mouthwatering... Your thirst is beginning to flare up... You haven’t hunted since last month... Your throat is dry, and the boy is full of blood to sate your thirst…
(SENNA trembles, and then closes her eyes and shakes her head back and forth. Then she freezes and stands stock-still. She licks her lips, and then slowly opens her eyes. They are now glowing red. RYDER lets out a small shriek, and SENNA snaps her head in his direction. A cold, sinister smile curves across her lips. She crouches forward and begins to stalk RYDER, who scrambles backwards desperately.)
RYDER: Senna...this isn’t you…
(SENNA growls deep in her throat and licks her lips again.)
RYDER: Stop. Please.
(SENNA stops and glances around. She walks slowly offstage, towards the ‘kitchen’. LIAM and DARREN growl and begin to go after her, but REDWICK holds them back.)
REDWICK: Wait...she is seeing her mother’s broken body. She will return full of grief and anger.
(There is silence after REDWICK has spoken, and then we hear a howl of grief and anger from offstage. SENNA charges onstage and heads straight for RYDER, and she leaps on him, sending him to the floor. RYDER shrieks and struggles, but it does nothing as SENNA closes in on his throat. What exactly is happening is blocked from the audience’s view by SENNA’s hair, and all they see is RYDER’s struggles getting weaker and weaker until he finally stops. SENNA looks up, blood dripping from her chin, eyes still glowing red. RYDER stares into space, blood on his neck.)
DARREN: Ah, you didn’t leave any for us...how sad.
LIAM: Well, Redwick, what do we do with her now? Take her back with us?
REDWICK: No, we need to destroy her.
DARREN: What? We went through all this trouble to get this pathetic little bloodsucker, and now you want to let her go?
LIAM: What’s wrong with you, Redwick? Getting cold feet? Don’t you even remember the original plan?
REDWICK: No! It’s just, um, we’ll be discovered by the neighbors and police, and I can’t be responsible for you two knuckleheads getting yourselves killed!
(SENNA is still standing motionless in the background, staring down at RYDER’s body. Meanwhile, LIAM and DARREN growl at REDWICK in unison, and begin to circle him.)
LIAM: Are you scared?
DARREN: (mocking) Poor baby Redwick.
REDWICK: N-No! No, I-I’m not scared!
LIAM and DARREN: LIES!
REDWICK: (desperately) I’m not lying!
(LIAM and DARREN grab REDWICK and drag him offstage. We hear muffled whimpering and then silence. Meanwhile, SENNA is furious that she was baited into killing RYDER, and waits for them to return.)
LIAM: Hey, Darren, can you go keep an eye on that little bloodsucker while I get rid of these bodies?
(SENNA snarls quietly)
DARREN: Sure, no problem.
(SENNA smiles eagerly. Enter DARREN.)
DARREN: I’m back, you little bloodsucker. (pauses) Where are you, you little snake?
(SENNA creeps up behind DARREN and pounces, knocking him to the floor. All of stage goes dark as we hear struggles and grunts and then silence. All lights back up, and we see DARREN lying motionless on the ground.)
LIAM: (still offstage) What was that? (silence) You better be keeping an eye on that little brat, you hear me? (more silence) Answer me!
(SENNA quickly drags DARREN behind the sofa. Enter LIAM. He looks around for DARREN and SENNA, not realizing SENNA is stalking him)
LIAM: Darren? (SENNA lets out a low snarl. LIAM whips around.) You...where’s Darren? (angrily) What did you do with him?
(SENNA pounces on LIAM and sends him to the floor. This time, the audience can see what is happening. SENNA holds LIAM down with her knees and holds his neck steady with her hands, and then she clamps her jaws on his neck. LIAM makes a weird, half-choked gasping noise and slowly goes still. SENNA stands up, slowly, taking her time. She licks her lips and closes her eyes. She shudders, and then slowly opens her eyes again. They are no longer glowing red, but normal. She looks around at all the destruction in the house, and gasps.)
SENNA: Was...was this...my...my fault?
(SENNA bursts into tears and runs offstage. Enter NARRATOR.)
NARRATOR: As you can see, this story met a rather abrupt ending. Maybe Senna was overwhelmed. Maybe all of the technical equipment began to malfunction. Or maybe the author of this imaginative tale couldn’t come up with a good ending. But it is over, and I sincerely hope you folks all have a good night. Oh, and keep an eye out for vampires, will you?
(Crew comes out for bows, followed by NARRATOR. Enter RAELINN. Enter REDWICK, LIAM, and DARREN. Enter RYDER and SENNA. End perfomance.)