I decided to walk home from work today. Icy wind smashes into my face as crimson autumn leaves whirl about my feet. The excitement to reach home charges me with a vibrant electric current every step I take, piercing me from the tips of my toes, through my thighs, up to the ends of my mascara-plastered lashes. Fists clenched, I trot along the sidewalk in a stiff and swift manner. The news of someone inventing a machine that could safely manipulate time rippled throughout the world last week, and has attracted a great deal of attention. It has caught the government’s eyes too, and after giving the idea much thought its announced its decision to provide each person a chance to change one thing about their past. For some civilians this is a futuristic nightmare, but for me, it is a glimmer of hope.

When I reach home, I fling my jacket, scarf and rain boots on the couch, peel the wet socks off my feet, and rush over to the kitchen table eager to write. My pruned feet stick to the cool white tiles when I walk. Wriggling my toes, I plop myself down on the new wooden chair and close my eyes with the hope the event I desire to change will come to me through midair. I imagine my life gliding past my eyes like an old movie with no sound. After ten minutes, I realize what I want to change. I want to change the biggest mistake I have made in my entire life, not loving enough.
I realized how important it is to unconditionally love when my sister committed suicide a couple years ago. It’s hard to say why I didn’t love enough. I think it’s because my self-confidence was non-existent to begin with, so I never had confidence in expressing myself or reaching out to others. I have always had an abundance of love bottled up inside me, but I never had the ability to express it. When my sister died, I realized how much a person needs love to grow and the consequences of not loving enough. I understood that my lack of self-confidence was because nobody ever loved me, so I saw no reason to love myself. When my sister died, I realized how necessary it was for me to love others. I began releasing the unconditional love bottled up inside me and witnessed it changing the world. It forced the people who always hated, to smile, and helped them build confidence and love for themselves. However, I find myself thinking about the past, frustrated and angry that I didn’t love those who needed it. I regret not cherishing people I loved, because I will never see them again.
From the mountain of office supplies on my kitchen table, I manage to find everything I need in order to write the request. I was told to handwrite the desire on a slip of paper as if it were a letter to myself. I grab my pen and begin to spill my thoughts into a jumbled up paragraph:
Dear me,
Just Love more. Have confidence in expressing the love bottled up inside of you, because the world needs it. The world needs more love because love teaches people to love themselves and have confidence in who they are, and you loving others can change the world. It will be hard to love some people. But remember, the people who aren’t the easiest to love need to be loved the most. And when they learn to love themselves, they won’t be hard to love anymore. Always remember to cherish those dear to you, you never know if you will ever be able to see them again.
Love,
Amy Bybee
I grip the letter tightly between my fingers and run to my doorstep. Here it goes. Closing my eyes, I place the letter in the mail box and put my thumb print on the scanner to confirm send. The letter is sent. I can’t believe it.

A couple hours later I find myself sipping a cup of coffee on the couch wrapped up in my favorite maroon blanket near the stone fireplace. It’s these small things in life that gives me pleasure. I wonder how the time twisters are going to manipulate my life to make everything fall into place. My friend Betty Rose said they might just send some people’s letters into the future. I think that’s what will probably happen to me. Regardless I’m elated by the thought of myself loving people more and freeing myself from the regret. Maybe after my request is put through my sister Judith will be alive. It’s strange how our pasts make up so much of who we are. I just hope after changing my past I still retain the person I am, because I’m proud of whom I am. If I didn’t have a chance to make those mistakes I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
I slam my face into my palms realizing what I’ve done. If I don’t make those mistakes, I won’t be the person I am today. The values I’ve learned from those mistakes make up my entire life, my career, my relationships, and every aspect of my life.

Two hours later after racing through traffic and proudly running a stop sign, I reach The Center for Time Manipulation. After rushing into the dome shaped building and seeing a bunch of women wearing head sets at the front desk, I find myself approaching a woman with blonde hair and glasses.

“Name and Reason for visit please?” she says in a professional manner and high pitched voice.

“Amy Bybee, I want to recall my request for life manipulation”, I say panting and gasping for air.

“I’m sorry, all requests are irrevocable”, she says in a monotone, non-caring voice.
“Please! This is about my life! You can’t just say that!” I beg, not believing what she said.

“If you’d like, I can check the status on your request, but that is all I can do. All requests are irrevocable.”