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Santa's murder mystery part 3
Act 1 Scene 5:
(exasperated) I can’t do it!
Dude what do you mean? What’s your problem?
I have Atychiphobia. (shakes Cupid) Do you know what that means?! I have a fear of failure. I don’t want to make the wrong decision.
Look all you have to vote is….
Wait! Don’t tell him! That would be cheating we need to let him make his own decision.
Are we allowed to tell him what he is allowed to vote?
I’m sure that would be fine
Yeah just hurry up!
Listen kid there are two decisions there is not guilty and (shouts at top of lungs) GUILTY
But wait what decision am I supposed to make. I don’t want to make the wrong one.
Listen, you either choose not guilty or GUILTY. Now don’t feel GUILTY. If you make the wrong decision. But you have a 50/50 chance to pick the right decision. So either pick not guilty or GUILTY.
Would the jury member please write on a slip of paper their name and either not guilty or GUILTY.
(Prancer looks at Elijah’s paper)
Dude, don’t cheat!
It doesn’t matter we’re all writing down the same thing…(all jurors pass their answers in and Judge reads through them.)
It looks like the decision is clear…(reads Miedo’s piece) MIEDO! Why did you vote not guilty?!
(people yell and Miedo faints again.)
Act 1 Scene 6:
(Miedo wakes up and stands up)
Miedo : Wha, what happened?
Maxx: You fainted again are you all right? (Miedo nods) good (begins shaking Miedo) Why did you have to vote guilty? Now we are going to be stuck here forever! (Miedo faints again)
Comet: (annoyed) Now look what you’ve done! This is the strangest court case I’ve ever been in!
Cupid: What are you talking about? We’ve never been in a court case.
Donner: Except for the year when someone switched to light bulb in Rudolph’s nose. It glowed yellow for a week.
Blitzen: And we never figured out that case. Just like we’ll never figure out this case. We’ll be stuck here forever
Alabaster: Priorities do differ in this case.
Bailiff: Very true. Either a changed light bulb or a murderer going loose.
Elijah: Either way, the Judge won’t let us out until the vote is unanimous. (Miedo wakes up)
Judge: (annoyed) Miedo will you please stop fainting in my court?
Miedo: (stands up and sits down in his seat) Can do, just don’t yell at me.
Popsicle: I have an idea that will make this case go much quicker (everyone becomes interested) how about we hold another vote. But this time Miedo’s doesn’t count.
Nurse: Sounds good to me
Donner: Sounds fair to me.
Joey: (stands up and stomps foot) Not to me! That isn’t fair.
Blitzen: OH who cares about you’re opinion. SOME of us want to go home. (Joey sits down)
Judge: Whatever gets me home to turn my water off.
Popsicle: (stands up and raises hand) And I’ll count the votes. I don’t want to miss my EX going to jail.
Joey: (buries head in hands) You don’t know what the world’s coming to when you can’t get a fair trial in the north pole.
Act 1 Scene 7:
Popsicle: This time we’ll do by a show of hands. All in favor of guilty. (all but Miedo and Maxx raise hands) All in favor of not guilty. (Miedo and Maxx raise hands) You’ve got to be kidding me
Alabaster: Wait let’s hear why he changed his vote. Maybe he couldn’t hear you because he’s deaf.
Maxx: I’m not deaf. I just have selective hearing…
Alabaster: That would explain why you could hear Elijah.
Maxx: I voted because I just thought it would be funny to have the Judge have a big water bill because he carelessly left the water on.
Judge: You and Miedo will pay for the bill.
(Crazy Bill runs on stage with silly string and starts to spray people)
Comet: Who let crazy bill in here?
Judge: Gurads! Take crazy Bill away. (Gurads come in and grab crazy Bill and take him off stage)
Alabaster: Gurads? (Gurads run back on stage)
Gurad John: Ok he’s all taken care of, we locked the door
Alabaster: Thank you, I have one question for you Gentlemen
John: Wait, be careful! Gurad Jay is really sensitive!
Jay: It’s ok, I’ll try not to cry.
Alabaster: (weirded out) Why are you called GURADS instead of GUARDS? (Jay runs off stage crying)
John: (sighs) Our dead secretary made a typo when writing our name tags. We are low on paper. And he died recently.
Popsicle: I’ll bet Joey poisoned him!
Joey: Nah he died because of Diabetes. In fact, he may have eaten more cookies than Santa.
Maxx: Aww man, I feel so stupid.
Elijah: Why’s that???
Maxx: (puts head in hands) Because I now have to pay for the Judge’s water bill. I’d really like to change my vote to Guilty.
Joey: Well I guess Miedo is now my favorite reindeer.
Miedo: I feel loved. OH NO! I have Malaxophobia that’s fear of love!
Judge: OK we can change you’re vote. I’m just going to check my rule book to make sure we can change votes. If so then Joey is guilty.
Joey: Do I get a say in this?
Judge: Of course not! (end of Act 1)
Bronx, New York
Kansas City, Kansas
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