The castle towered over the gathering crowd, illuminating the twelve bodies hanging. Their eyes have glossed over, welcoming the release of death after hours of suffocation. The wailing of the thirteenth echoes around the crowd as she stands tied to a wooden post with fire wood under her feet. Even with the tears streaming down her face she looks stoic, looking out at the crowd like she would kill us all. 

“My people, we have gathered here to burn the witches who plague our city. To bring God back to us and do his work by removing sin from this world. Let us celebrate removing one more piece of the devil, let us burn these sins from God's world.” Father Matthew shouts, he is standing upon a dais with a cross in hand. He turns his attention to the last witch, I see the smile grace his lips before he fully turns. He is enjoying this.

The witch raises her head and adjusts her posture, staring the priest straight in the eyes, “Are you sure about that, Father? You have caught only one coven of hundreds, how will you rid the world of sin, as you say it, when you only get a minute number?” Her voice drips with disdain and pride, flashing her pearly teeth to the priest. He raises his cross a fraction, while a wind blows at his robes. 

The witch continues after a moment, “I will tell you one more secret, Father. Not only have you caught only a fraction of us, but you will awaken the most powerful witch with my sacrifice. Blood of the Goddess herself, she will bring about your ruination on the night of a blood moon, allowing darkness into her heart and balance to be restored. As above, so below, Father, I wish you luck.” 

When she finishes her speech, murmuring surrounds me like a blanket, people accusing others of witchcraft, who could possibly be this witch, or what will this mean. My mind began to race, thoughts attacked me as I turned the witches statement over in my head. Who could be this chosen one of death? When I find Briar, I will talk to her about her theories.

Father Matthew turns to face the crowd and raises his hands to silence us. As the whispers die at lips, he shouts, “That is impossible, devil-spawn. We have the power of God on our side, no one here will be tempted with your false God’s ways.”

The crowd shouts in agreement, God is who we follow, he is the light in the dark. The devil is the dark, why walk blindly when you could have a candle instead? The voices continue to raise, making a new entity with just their voices

“Burn the witch, burn the witch, rid her of this holy world, rid her of this holy world…” The chant continues, growing louder and louder until the priest must shout at the crowd to quiet down. Silence descends upon us, allowing for the gasping breaths of the witch only to be heard, the only indication she truly is of this world. 

“I understand, loyal ones. Let us pray to God to burn away this scar.” Father Matthew bellows, he descends from the dais to grab a log from the burning fire. He carries the torch for all to see as he prays to God, the crowd joins him in the sonnet. I try to join in, but find myself turning to the witch. 

She looks no older than I, her hair a deep black, void of color, her eyes the deepest of blue, an ocean contained within her eyes. She scans the crowd like a war general, looking for the traitor. Father Matthew begins to come up to the dais, still saying the prayer for God to witness this sacrifice. He stops praying when he comes a few feet from the witch and whispers something into her ear, too quiet for us to hear. 

The witch gasps, but is unable to move. She begins to fight at the bindings, the effort futile. The priest laughs a little while he begins to bring the fire forward, ending the witch's life by going up in flames. As the flames hit the wood below her, ocean eyes snap to mine. Horror floods me as she smiles and mouths, “Good luck, witchling.”

A chill runs through me as the wood beneath her catches. An eruption of flames commences, her screams fill the air, along with the smell of burning wood and flesh. Her breathing comes in gasps and the only relief she gets is a mouth full of smoke. The cords that bind her to the post have melted, allowing her to topple into the fire, she tries to raise herself, but it is too late.

Right before the fire burns away the remaining life in her, Father Matthew whispers, “Goodbye witch, it was nice seeing you again.” As he punctuates his sentence a burning sensation takes hold, starting at the top of my corset and moving down. I gasp as the fire sweeps into me, settling at my core and dying down. What was that? 

Before I can dive too deep into my thoughts, Briar comes out of the crowd. She’s smiling, but her eyes show the sorrow in them. I know watching public hangings is hard for her, especially after her mother…

“Hey love, are you ready to go back?” she whispers, the sorrow is blatant in her voice, I nod my head and we walk off, leaving the ashes of the last witch to scatter on the dais. 

We open the doors to the church, the moonlight flows through the stained glass windows, illuminating the expansive area. The wooden pews are empty, save for a few nuns minding the candles. The stained glass windows painted the hall in a rainbow of colors, lighting the dark wooden floors to contrast the shadowed stone walls. The balance between the shadows and light fluctuated as we walked, but had a sort of balance that allowed for beauty to be found in both.

Briar and I stayed towards the back of the church to allow for the sisters to go about their duties, while we whisper how our days have been and what we did before the execution. We hit a set of stone stairs going down to the basement where the classrooms, storage rooms, and the heart is located. 

We continued down, gliding into one of the classrooms before we heard a shrilling voice, “Briar, oh Briar, my thorny friend. I saw you with your roommate come down here.” We look at each other, rolling our eyes as the owner of the voice comes into view. 

“Lizzy, to what do we owe the pleasure?” I say, a little too high to be considered normal. Briar squeezes my hand, trying to reangle my irritation at the interruption.

“I have told you a million times, Pheebs, I go by Elizabeth, not Lizzy. That is for children.” She pouts, faking irritation.

Turning her attention back to Briar, “Hello, sister. I need your help rehearsing scripture. Come, come, you already see one another enough.” 

She begins to pull Briar, tugging her arm until it practically falls out of its socket. I let go of her hand and give her a sympathetic smile, she returns with wild eyes. She mouths “See you tonight, my sweet,” and turns to follow the brat. 

I look into the empty class and decide I need to clear my head. I begin to wander the halls and ponder over the events of the execution, from the eyes of the witch to the last words she said. Why did she look at me? I have nothing, who would want an orphaned daughter of 16 years? I rent a single room that I share with Briar above the church I stand in. 

I continue to walk on, until I stumble upon a room bare except for a silver-lined mirror. I walk closer to the mirror, inscribed at the very top reads “As above, so below.” I continue to look at the images which surround the mirror, stars shooting towards three moons connected. Multiple eyes are inscribed in the silver, as if seeing every part of the person looking in. 

When I finally turn my gaze to the mirror, I see a dark figure staring back at me, ice-blue eyes seep into my soul. I shiver and look behind the darkness to find a large cauldron, filled with purple. The large cauldron of purple liquid started to boil when I began to step back. A fog rose from the liquid and surrounded the demon, then surrounded me, along with the smell of lavender and sage. 

“Welcome, witchling. I am Erus, embodiment of your darkness. I will help guide you through your journey with magic. One day we may come together to create the balance of the world. But for now, we will start with what you are.” The voice of the darkness, Erus, is that of arrogance and familiarity. As if they have been with me for years, now they can finally see me. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about, demon. I am no witch, I have no magic at my fingertips, and we will never come together.” I spit at the demon, they smirk at my anger, almost inhaling the emotion. 

I see their eyes flash and with a tilt of their head they say, “Oh darling, you are more powerful than you can imagine. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you cast a truth spell? If it doesn’t work you can continue your holy life, but if it does work then you will have your answer. Why, all we need is a drop of your blood.”

“Why in the heavens would I try to get myself sent straight to hell? Witchcraft is a form of devil-magic, is it worth risking my afterlife to see if a parlor trick would work? I don’t think so.” I turn to leave, but the lavender fog has surrounded me and I can’t see a way to exit. I tried to fight through the fog, but just thickened with the effort and threw myself back to the mirror. 

The demon just laughs at my ignorance, “You can’t leave the fog until I either uncast the spell, or you undo the spell yourself. Now I will not undo the spell until you try, but if you think you can uncast the fog then that will also prove your magic. A win-win for me I would say.”

Their continued taunting only angers me, which seems to only make them happier. I lift my chin and muster as much courage as possible and I force out the words, “Fine, demon. But I don’t know what I am doing, you tell me what I need to do.”

“Stop calling me demon, unless you would like to be called human-scum. My name is Erus. If you continue to disregard manners, I will trap you in this mirror with me. Then you can really call me a demon when I am done with you. Got it?” Their eyes are hard and my face pales. 

I nod because words failed me, and they smile again, “Good girl, now the spell. All you have to do is slice your palm and allow a little bit of blood to hit the floor. When it does, say ‘Ékana aftó to xórki tis alítheias se ósous vrískontai sto domátio.’ You will feel something, that will mean the spell worked.” 

I memorize the phrase needed for the spell. This is so stupid, this will not work I think. Witchcraft is only for those who stray from our Savior, this will not work. This will not work, I continue to tell myself as I grab the dagger out of my boot. 

I look up to the- Erus, and see their eyes are filled with laughter, but their face is hard as stone. They nod their head so we may get this over with. 

I slide the dagger across my palm and force myself not to scream out. I squeeze my palm shut and allow for the blood to well up. As the blood falls from my hand, the air goes taut, as I begin to say the words, I feel something well-up in my stomach. The feeling of fire scorching my skin rises, then fades as I finish the spell. Something comes over me, a blanket over my head. 

I just stare at my hands, one still dripping blood on the ground, while the other is just holding the dagger. I look up to Erus, who is already staring at me, smiling. Triumph dances in the smirk that spread across their face. 

“Congratulations, witchling. You have cast your first spell, wasn't that fun?” They taunt. 

I already have my words ready, telling them how awful that was, but new words are pulled from me, “That was exhilarating!” I say, what in all the realms I think. I panic, why am I saying the truth, is it the truth? I don’t know, I look around frantically. What did I just do?

I look back to Erus and see they are the definition of relaxed, “Oh, you didn’t know? The spell you cast was for all in the room. I am, by definition, in the room, but as are you. You also are under the truth spell, darling.” 

Of course, I should have reviewed the words, that hell-spawn tricked me. 

“How long does this take to wear off?” I spit at them. If I knew any other spells I would chuck my dagger at them and watch as they bleed out. 

“Ah, darling you don’t wish that. But, this will last till tomorrow, about 12 hours of truth.” They say, I can tell they are dying for another spell, but I stop them.

“Banish the fog, I would like to go to sleep and tend to my wound.” I ramble out, I begin to feel light-headed. They see the change in my demeanor immediately, I hear them say something. My hand begins to stitch itself back up with no problem and the fog dissipates. 

I nod my head towards them, but they talk again, “Come tomorrow, darling. Next time I can teach you something more exciting.” Their eyes flash with something I can’t place, but I turn back around. 

“I might show, I might not, Erus. Either way, I bid you a good night.” I say over my shoulder. I will not confirm if I will be here tomorrow, I have a lot to think about. I hear their laugh, a knowing one, telling me they already know what I will choose. 

It is a slow walk up to my room above the church. My light-headedness has lessened, but I feel extremely weak. Once I get up to my room, it feels like 20 years have passed and I haven’t slept since then. I see Briar is already asleep on her cot and smile a little to myself. 

I walk over to my side and begin to undress and pull on my nightgown. I lay down on my bed and right as my head hits the pillow, I am out. 

When I wake up, I am the only one in the room and the sun is high in the sky. I look to my nightstand and see a note from Briar, 

Hello Love,

You were really tired and I didn’t see you come in last night, so I let you sleep. I told Father Matthew you were up late last night praying, so you are clear for this morning. Just be at mass this afternoon. 

P.S I think you missed class too, so I will go over what we did, as long as I don’t fall asleep. 

All my love, 

B.

Thank God, I have Briar, she is my savior in this world. But, as I think about last night I realize I can’t have a savior anymore. I am a witch. I am the definition of sinner and I can’t get rid of these powers because they are tied to my blood. I begin to pace the small room, contemplating what I am going to do. I can’t tell anyone, especially Briar. She will either lose it or be so excited she will try to help and that won’t end well with Erus. 

I can tell Erus wouldn’t care about Briar, and if she did anything wrong, they would end her, no she can’t know. I will just tell her I am talking to someone, I mean technically I will be seeing someone or something. The rest of the church could never know or I will be executed like the witches yesterday. 

As I continue to think over what I am going to do, I realize that the stuff around is floating. The brush on the dresser is almost touching the ceiling, the candle is upside down, and my bed is levitating. Stop stop stop, no no no no no, this can’t be happening, I think and everything drops with a loud thump. 

That is new and this is really bad, I can’t just make things float when I am anxious. My mind is racing, calculating possibilities of leaving London and Briar here. But if I leave Briar, no, I can’t do that. When I begin to calm myself down I hear a long ring, afternoon mass is about to start. 

I race into action, throwing on any dress that is in my vicinity, pulling my hair away from my face and throwing on any slippers I think are appropriate. I rush down the stairs, throwing myself through the door and begin to slow when the rest of the church can see me. I know I look like a lunatic, but a pretty lunatic at the least. I find Briar in the middle of the chapel, her eyes are filled with concern when they land on me. 

Once I sit down, she whispers, “Are you okay? I have never seen you so tired..!”

 Her concern warms me and I wish I could really tell her, but I seal myself and whisper back, “Yes I am fine, love. I just wandered for a bit and exerted myself too much.” I fake a smile and her eyes soften. 

She grips my hand and squeezes when Father Matthew steps up to the altar and begins afternoon mass. 

I don’t hear a single thing Father Matthew says, I am too into my head to notice when they begin to sing or pray. Briar doesn’t let go of my hand for all of the mass, which I internally thank her for, because she is the only one keeping me from getting up and going downstairs. 

“... and that concludes this session, go forth in peace.” Father Matthew preaches and everyone stands, I am relieved when everyone begins to filter out. 

Briar lets go of my hand and smiles at me, “What were you thinking about?” 

My eyes snapped to her, of course she could see I wasn’t thinking of God, I made the quick decision to tell her part of the truth. I smile and say, “I was thinking of this person who caught my attention. They are quite mysterious, but they seem to be interesting as well.”

I force myself to blush and smile a little, I see Briar’s smile falter for a slight moment, but it returns right after. 

“Oh Pheebs, I am so happy for you! Maybe you could introduce me to this mysterious fellow?” She says, the joy is faked, I can tell by the pitch of her voice and the sharpness of her eyes. 

“Not yet, B. If we actually begin to court, then of course you can meet them. I will even let you threaten them if it will make you happy.” I quip out, I hate seeing her upset, but if this protects her then so be it.

I see her face lighten a bit, she worries for me often and I don’t want to add to that. Her light returned to her eyes and said, “Okay, love. Just make sure this boy of yours has an extra room for me to stay in. I can’t afford the room upstairs without you.” She says it as a joke, but we both know that if one of us leaves, the other must find something else or they will end up on the street. 

I link arms with her and we head out of the church to go for a walk. We continue to talk about nothing and everything. I find we discussed a new section of the Holy text and if I need help I can talk to Briar. We also discussed how Lizzy’s “practice” was. When the sun begins to set I tell Briar I am going to go see my mysterious man. 

“Be careful, I do not want to see you harmed in any way.” I can tell that if anything is wrong with me when I get back in the room, she will hunt down whoever harmed me and wished they had never been given life. 

I nod my head and begin to head the opposite direction of her. When she is out of sight I begin to go the back way to the church, I find myself almost excited to practice magic. Maybe once I master it, I can leave London and find a cottage in the woods, where I don’t have to pay anyone and Briar can live with me too. We could live how we desire to and never have to bear the scars that deepen everyday we live above the church. 

When I reach the towering building, I open the dark oak doors and fly past the nuns. I stick to the shadows, when I hit the door to the basement I open it slowly so it doesn't make a noise. I find my way back to the room with the mirror and see Erus is already waiting for me. As I shut the door behind me I notice the room they are standing in is different from yesterday. Now it is filled with plush rugs and pillows, a bookcase filled with tomes towers over them. Instead of the dark, blank room, it is a room for nobility. An illusion  I think. 

They lean against a wall I can’t see, nod then say, “Welcome, Phoebe. Today we will discuss healing magic. This will be protective magic, against those who are physically there and against those you believe me to be.” 

I look at them, it is like they can read my mind. I won’t put it out of the realm of possibilities, but I know I won’t get a real answer. 

“Okay, what do I need?” I say, they smile at my answer and begin instructing me on plants that have magical properties. Showing me images in the mirror, then spells I can use when I feel endangered. I learn the spell they used yesterday when they healed my hand. 

By the time they are done, the floor has my blood splattered over it, as if a murder has taken place. My arms and legs have runes over them that mean multiple types of healing and protection and my eyes feel like they are glowing. 

Erus moves and I see myself in the mirror, my eyes that are normally a dull green are now that of a forest. Deep green that holds multiple secrets and in different lighting looks as though it swallows light itself. My hair has gone from its normal light brown to almost a black color. I look like a whole new person, a person who controls life herself. I smile at this new person, I want to be this person at all times. 

I then realize I have Briar, if I become this person I will lose her. She will never talk to me again, I could never see her and I would have to run from the city. As the realization hits me over the head, my eyes and hair go back to their normal color and exhaustion takes its hold.

Erus comes back into view, their eyes are somber, like my guilt is now theirs. They gently say, “I think that is enough practice for today, darling.” 

As if I am made of glass, I shatter a little. I want to be powerful in a world where I am nothing, but if I become someone, the people around me will rip me to shreds. They will see a monster, instead of a person. 

I nod my head and begin to turn around when I realize something, “How will I remember all of this? I can barely remember what happened today during mass. How will I remember all of the runes and the meaning of each plant?” I rush out, even though I know I can never be the person I saw in the mirror, I still want the knowledge of them. 

Erus smiles and moves their hands in a beckoning motion. I move towards the mirror again. They move their hand in a slicing motion and say, “When the blood begins to pool, draw a circle with a dot in the middle on your other wrist, just above the vein. Then all you have to say is ‘na thymámai óla ósa écho máthei se aftó to domátio. méchri to télos ton imerón, thymámai.’” 

I have them say the incantation again, then do as they say. When I finish the spell the burning sensation I usually feel is that of a warm blanket. 

Erus speaks before I ask, “That means your magic is drained. Your magic grows with you, as you begin to accept yourself, your magic will accept it as well. Your actual well of magic will be almost infinite when you finally let go, darling. But for now, this is enough.” They smile like there is a joke I don’t understand yet. 

I nod again and ask, “When should I come back down, Era?” I smile at the new name I created for them, I can almost sense they like the new name. 

A light smile plays at their lips, they nod their acceptance at the new name and say, “Come back in two days. To help speed up the recovery time, drink tea with lavender and tea tree in it. Your Father, as you call him, keeps all these herbs in the storage area. You will notice more in there, but to help speed up your recovery time, sleep and drink the tea.” 

I hide my surprise at the mention of Father Matthew and the knowledge he keeps herbs in the storage area. As I think about it more it does make sense, they are that of God and God gives us everything we need. The herbs must be for food flavoring or for prayer. 

“Good night Era,” I say as I walk out of the room.

“Good night Pheebs.” 

Before I go up to the room, I go and find the storage closet Erus was talking about. As expected, it is right next to the kitchen and the herbs present are mostly for healing. I found the lavender and tea tree. I make a few bags for tea and bring them up to my room. 

I open the door to find Briar asleep on her cot, thankfully. I go and hide the bags under some of my clothes and get ready for bed. I again fall asleep right as my head hits my pillow and dream of nothing, but darkness and blood. 

I continue this pattern for five weeks. I wake up and get ready for morning mass with Briar. We attend together, then go get breakfast, attend class, afternoon mass, go for a walk or other activities, then we split up. I go to meet my “mysterious boy,” while Briar goes on errands for Father Matthew. I practice my spells with Erus, who is in a new room everyday, and I feel my well begin to deepen each day we practice. I recite the memory spell at the end of each lesson so I remember and I repeat. 

Whenever I am not practicing with Erus, I practice on my own. I have found it is hard to sit still in mass in the morning. I have caused candle flames to burn higher when I am anxious, flowers to bloom when I am happy or wilt when I am angry. 

Father Matthew thinks that these instances are of God blessing us and telling us we are holy. He believes that if we continue down the path of light like we are, we will be untouchable to the devil because of how bright we are.

I feel giddy whenever he discusses these instances of God, because they are done by me. I am God to these people. 

One day, I felt very anxious and decided to change the colors of the stained glass windows, illusions of course, but I turned the scene of each holy patron to that of devils. Changing Jesus into an image of the devil, the Virgin Mary into Lilith, and demons surrounding them. Father Matthew watched the situation unfold with horror as his precious figures morphed into demons. 

The people around me began to pray to God, hoping to see through the “trick of the devil.” 

I ended the illusion after a moment and when the scene changed back Father Matthew shouted, “This was a warning from God, one of us has turned to the Devil. We must cleanse ourselves from our sins with a goat. Then we must stay here and pray for 24 hours.” The panic in his voice sent a spark of joy from me. 

I am able to scare the Father himself. I can trick him into believing that my word is that of God. I turned to Briar and saw her face, her face is that of hard stone. Although her eyes shine with joy and laughter, she can not express it. She turns to me and sees the same thing in my eyes and nods. The only signal that she agrees with me. 

As someone goes to retrieve the goat for sacrifice, I head down to the basement. When I enter the mirror room, Erus is smiling at me, “Hello darling! That was a lovely show. Maybe next time though, put an illusion of yourself. Your eyes were a little too bright and your hair a little too dark to be natural.” They smile as my face drops, but continues, “Do not fret though, the lighting was perfect to cover the unnaturalness of it all. Once it was over, your features were back to normal, so no one noticed.” 

I realize my mistake and know I won’t ever repeat it again, maybe. I make a  note to myself that if I ever decide to test something, I will pull an illusion over myself. 

Era smiles at my thoughts, I still haven’t figured out how they can read my thoughts, but a truth spell relieved that they can read my thoughts and one day I could read theirs. 

I don’t know how much time has passed since I left to come down here, but I need to be out of here soon if I don’t want anyone to get suspicious of my absence. 

“Can other witches do what I am capable of? Like that illusion took a little effort before I changed, but would someone else who isn’t me be able to do that?” I ask, I see them turn the question over in their head. 

When they come to their conclusion they say, “They could, but it would drain them so thoroughly they would pass out. So to answer your question, yes they can, but it would likely cause them to be ill or die.” 

I think over their answer, I really am that different. I am about to answer another question, but they say, “You must leave now, they are asking for everyone to be back now. If you would like to figure out your heritage, then come when it is safe. Good day, Pheebs, please don’t do anything stupid.” 

They smile at me and before I rush out of the door I say, “Good day, Era, and I would never.” 

I close the door behind me and begin to sprint. I could teleport, but I want my magic strong for the next 24 hours. Something tells me I will need it.

As I close the door behind me, forcing myself into an illusion around me so it doesn’t look like I came from the basement and no one can see it open. I dissipate the spell and walk back to where Briar is, sitting at the back of the room. Father Matthew and a couple nuns are at the altar holding a baby goat. A knife is next to it and I know neither of us are going to enjoy this. 

I turn to Briar and I see her eyes begin to fill with tears, she hates this as much as I do. We grip each other's hands as Father Mattew begins to discuss what this sacrifice will do and to be back into God’s good graces. I wish for everything that we could stop this, I realize I should not have done the illusion and now I need to watch Father Matthew slaughter a goat for it. 

I feel my anger build in my core, the burning sensation of my magic comes to meet it. How dare he kill an animal for his own benefit. He thinks one sacrifice will help him, no, that is not how this works. I quickly throw an illusion over myself and I feel my features change. My eyes change to a frosted blue and my hair turns black as night, but I know everyone else sees me as I want them to. 

My anger fuels me as he discusses how this sacrifice is to honor God and that for him to forgive him, the God present right now will not forgive him. I lash out and make him drop the knife. The knife buries itself in the wall of stone, cracking it a little. A gasp goes around the room, but Father Matthew is silent. 

I mimic what the voice of God will sound like, one of great power and honor, making the church shake a little, “Are you blinded by your power that you do not read the signs? Those images were to warn you of what is to come. Now, let this sacrifice go and take what I have granted you as mercy. Father, if you would like to be back in my graces, you will pray for 24 hours undisturbed while the rest of your church is allowed to go about their daily life. Your pride has made you arrogant, now leave this goat, I will not warn you again.”

I let go of the illusion and the shaking stops, the knife drops to the floor. I drop the illusion around myself. Briar looks like she is about to cry, everyone else is in awe. Father Matthew still hasn’t moved. 

The nuns take charge, moving the priest to his chambers and dismissing us, telling us mass will be held tomorrow morning. Briar, still in a daze, gets up with me in hand and we walk to the park. I stay with her the whole time, I let her ramble on about anything, I talk to her about anything she wants. We go into stores and I buy her a ring, it is nothing more than a silver band, but she acts as if it is made of gold and diamonds. 

When the sun sets, we go back to our room and continue to talk to her as she drifts to sleep. I feel bad for leaving her, but I want to see who my parents are. 

I teleport directly into the mirror room, Erus is reading a book when I appear. They smile and say, “Once again, amazing job darling. Maybe next time, you could bury the knife into that priest's neck instead.” They smile and I just look at them. They know why I am here and I do not feel like talking about what just happened. 

“Alright, so we are going to need a bowl of water, a dagger, your blood, and the incantation. So, come bring the bowl in.” They say sternly, I close my eyes and conjure one of the large bowls into the room. I already filled it with water, so I pulled out my dagger and nodded for Era to continue.

“Now when the blood hits the water say ‘parelthón parón méllon, deíxe mou pós émoiaza.’ It will then show you your parents and continue going back.” They say, I feel their stare on me as I slice my hand. 

They already know who my parents are, I can tell by their giddiness, I guess it’s now my turn. As the blood hits the water I say the spell and an image of a beautiful woman appears, but it isn’t what I expected. 

She has three heads, each with long back hair, deep blue eyes. She is dressed in a black flowing robe. I continue to look at her, I see our similarities, but what of my father? I say as much and nothing happens. I look up and Erus just stares at me.

I shake my head and say, “What of my father?” 

The water never changes.  No image arises and then the spell disappears. I turn my attention to Erus, “What in the world was that?” I yell, I am panicked, I don’t know who that is, that is not my mother.

Erus shrugs and says, “That is Hecate, she is the Goddess of Witchcraft. She in fact is your mother. The reason you are orphaned is because your mother is not of this realm, neither are you, well half of you. Half of you is made from the Earth, while the other half is pure magic. Why do you think you can do all of these things with no issue, Phoebe? It is not because you are a normal witch, no you are of the Goddess herself.” 

I feel myself spiraling, how? How is this possible? The room begins to spin, I am moving the air around me in a tornado. Erus just looks at me. They knew this was coming. They knew who I was and what I was. 

“How did you know?” I scream at them, I am beyond rational thought, I am spinning and I want the world to burn. 

Erus just says, “I am you. I am the side no one knew you had. I am half of your whole. Why do you think you are always so strong when your darker emotions take over? It is because that is me, a little piece of me is in you. The only way you will ever feel whole is to let me in.”

I look at them, really look at them and spit, “No. I will never let you in. You are that of evil, your name means darkness. How could I let you in, when all you want to do is harm?” 

Erus just smiles at me and says, “Right. Now what emotions do you have right now? You are angry and the world is spinning. When you used that power it was out of anger, not joy, so what really is driving you right now, because it isn’t light, as your name says? You don’t even know what it means to be the daughter of the Goddess. You are afraid that you will be ruined, but I will tell you something, you are both. You are darkness and light, once you realize it, you will understand.”

I calm myself, the whirlwind of air stops, I look at Erus, my other half and say, “I don’t need you. I never have, so let me make this clear, I will never accept you. You will rot in this mirror until the end of my days. I hope you enjoy the darkness.” 

I disappear like smoke as I hear Erus laugh, but I don’t know why he is laughing now.

My mind races through various thoughts while I run out of the room. What did Erus mean by any of that? As my breath caught up to me, questions hit me like stones have hit the sinners of the past. Why was that mirror in the church? Who was that ocean-eyed witch that spoke to me, and why was Father Mattew acquainted with her? 

I picked up speed, dashing up into the room Briar and I shared, safe within my own domain once again. I sigh with relief when I catch sight of her sleeping face, a smile placing itself on my own. 

“I’m sorry, love… I didn’t think it would get this far.” I whisper as I get ready for slumber.  

I act as if I am attached to Briar at the hip the next morning. I held her hand during both masses and all of class, and as much as I could during the meals. I could tell she noticed the raised hairs on my arms and the somewhat crazed look in my eyes. 

“Phoebe, there is something wrong. You have been acting strange, and you haven’t gone to see your ‘gentleman’ this evening. Did he hurt you?” Briar only calls me by name when she is anxious to the highest degree, and I know that tone in her voice all too well. 

I shook my head, assuring her and hopefully myself that nothing was wrong. I wanted to run away, forget any of this ever happened, and somehow live in the life of God with Briar by my side. As if the truth spell was still upon me, a small voice spoke in my head, slowly getting louder. I need to go back, I need to go back, I need to go back…

Later that night when the bloodied moon smiled down on our town, the jolt of energy in my heart woke me from unconsciousness. I glanced at the softly illuminated exit of the room as I felt it calling to me. I need to go back. Like a puppet on a string, I stumble towards the door and gently close it behind me as I leave, not even thinking to leave a note for Briar. Staying in my tattered nightgown, I step down the stairs with my hand against the wall for extra support in the dark. Despite the darkness, I need to go back. Despite the freezing stone steps that stung my bare feet, I need to go back. 

The strange calling sent me to the room with the mirror, where this whole mess started. I slowly opened the door, praying for it not to creak while I entered. By peeking inside, I catch a glimpse of Father Mattew himself muttering while searching through the tomes. I step inside, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place, revealing the big picture. 

“Father Mattew.” Mania welled up in my heart when he turned around and locked eyes with me. “... You had relations with that witch, who you killed, and you brought this mirror here. You are committing devilish acts, and yet you claim to be holy. You shame others for leading sinful lives, but you yourself are a hypocrite!”

“Dear child… Phoebe… You know I would do nothing of the sort.” He smiles at me, feigning innocence. “I have never had any relations with a witch, and I do not welcome any enchanted items into the church.” 

“You’re… You’re a liar. You’re a sinner. You’re a sinner!” A burning shot through my arms as poor Father Mattew was flung across the room and held against the wall. Wooden stakes from the dirty basement floor levitate as I commanded them to, nailing the lying priest’s hands with his arms spread to mimic the crucifix. His screams were sickening, but I didn’t dare try to stifle them. I knew no one would hear, and his suffering fueled my ecstasy. “By my hand, you shall rot in hell!” 

My chest heaves as I puncture the knife into his navel, slicing it up to the base of his chin. I grasp his trachea in my hands, ripping it out so that may no longer breathe lies like he breathes the word of God. My heart pounds through my chest as I stare at it with wide, bloodshot eyes. I glance back up at him as I drop it, making a dull sound on the stone. His tainted blood pooled at his feet. At last, his sinning mouth screams no more. 

I turn around when I hear clapping from the mirror. “That was quite the show, darling. Now, we could put his blood to good use, or let it rot away with his body… Your choice.” Erus is grinning, eyes like half moons from how much joy was stored in their lifted cheeks. 

I agreed to make use of Father Mattew’s blood, and they instructed me to do the following: to scoop up a handful of it and smear it on the mirror. That is simple, compared to the sin I have just committed. I will never be clean. I do as I’m told, not taking another second of hesitation, because I know I would never amount to the challenge if I did. 

In the moment that my bloodied fingers touched the mirror, Erus reached out and held my hand, but it felt warm and welcoming, rather than frightening. “Embrace me, Phoebe. I’m the voice in your head and the iron in your blood. We are one.” 

I nodded at them. “As above, so below. Just as that one witch said…” The image of her death flashed inside of my head. We laced our fingers together and Erus phased into my body, causing permanent change to my hair and eyes, as if I was always meant to look this way. The power burned inside me so much that it hurt. Like Hell has found a new home inside of me.

I decide to teleport back to the room with my sleeping Briar beauty, pondering how I should tell her the chronicle of what happened over the past days. She should at least know that I killed someone. How would I ever begin? I write mental notes and dispose of them as I tuck myself back into bed, knowing I’ll be too exhausted to attend mass tomorrow. That is, if anyone is to replace the late priest. 

The next morning, my dearest wakes me up. Not the gentlest of greetings, but appreciated nonetheless. “Wake up! You went to bed early last night, you should be well rested! What has been going on with you!?”

“Briar, I am awake, please don’t shout.” I plead, shielding my eyes from the blindingly bright sun. “But… I do have a few things to confess to you. You of all people should know the truth.” 

She read my face and glanced at my hair, bewilderment in her eyes. “Please do not tell me you did unholy things with your gentleman of the night.” 

“Oh, heavens, no… Sadly, much worse.” I grimaced, wringing my hands. “My ‘gentleman of the night’ doesn’t exist, and instead, I have been taking witchcraft lessons from something that tells me it is part of me. As you can see, exactly that happened.”

Briar crossed herself. “Oh good Lord, now what?” 

“... And Father Mattew is dead.” 

My dear blossom’s face went pale despite her complexion being darker than mine. “You are joking. You are toying with me right now.” 

“No, he is dead! And it’s all… it’s all his fault. He knew about the mirror where Erus was all along, and he probably had relations with that witch from before.” I sigh. “Yes, I killed him, but only because he brought his fate upon himself.” 

As night falls, I visit the place of my rebirth one last time. I stare at the rotting corpse of the late sinner, then at my own reflection in the empty, now almost ordinary mirror. My breath quivers as I reel back my fist and land a shattering blow on it, not caring if the glass pierces my skin. The glass carries with it the guilt that burdens my soul and body and the release of energy relieves the aches of my past. 

The putrid scent of copper from the blood dripping down my hand fills the room. Looking at the shattered mirror on the floor from when my fist met the looking glass I glanced at myself once again from one of the shards. My eyes are as cold as ice and hair as dark as the night London sky. Erus and I are one and the same, there is no longer a mere reflection of the other half of me. Father Mathew’s corpse as well as his ripped out trachea lies beside me. There is not a guilty bone in me to feel for the devil in disguise. 

Briar’s light brown eyes flutter up and down my face trying to read me as if I am suddenly unrecognizable. I feel a slight pang of hurt in my chest. 

“I am still me, love” I reassured. Her face expressed a mixture of concern and distrust. 

“I’m not sure what to say Phoebe. I'm worried about you. Please do give me time to ponder over this” Briar says with a sigh as she walks away softly shutting the door on the way out. 

Everyone prayed for a god and they found one. I was the one who wiped away sin. The kin of the Hecate is no devil and no saint. I will no longer conform to anyone. I’ve learned that the broken mirror simply did not fracture, it multiplied. Briar enlightened the righteousness within me and I will forever adore her. I trust that my fate is in her hands but I am afraid that I have accepted the darkness inside of me and I will not go back. As I look around my surroundings I contemplate whether or not I shall inflict chaos on the town's dead priest. A simple spell shall clean the disorder of this cellar. The smell of the priest's rotten corpse no longer neighbors the area thankfully. A new chapter has begun.

As I return to my room I notice a hand written note on my nightstand. Quickly, I shut the door and pick up the inked parchment. 

My Dear Pheebs, 

The church is not a home without you. Madness will surround the town due to your outburst and find another witch to bring to the gallows.. You must go but I’m afraid I won’t last a day without you and your lunacy. I’ve packed a bag and a horse for us to leave. Please join me behind the church.

All my love, B.

The excitement that ran through my veins led me to instantly teleport to where Briar is. A gust of wind bewildered poor Briar as she saw me appear. She grabs my hand and states “we must hurry” 

“Where does your faith lie my dear Briar, why me?” she becomes silent, contemplating. “My faith lies with god and virtue, but there is sin and unholiness within everyone that does not mean there is no goodness within you when you do bad things as.” I stare fondly not knowing what to say. She then grabs my hand as she leads me to the horses. 

Heaven or hell does not carry significance as long as you are the truest version of yourself. As the kin of Hecate, there is power in my hands and in my blood, I will never hold myself back again. The light and dark will always be inevitable.