There was only a couple weeks left until the best summer of my life. I would day dream about sleeping in and about waking up and eating breakfast on the beach, considering it was at the end of the street. I was hoping I would have that "summer fling" every girl dreams about but there was only one guy I'd want it to be with. Ryan Fletcher, the guy I've had a crush on for as long as I can remember. He lived a couple houses down and we had always been close friends. I never told him how I felt about him, I always thought it might make things different between us.

When Ryan and I were kids, we would always go play at the beach, go swimming in the ocean and just have a great time with each other. We connected so well when we were children I thought nothing would ever change. I was wrong.

Ryan and I started to part ways when we went in to our junior year of high school. The summer before junior year he went on a trip to Italy to see his grandmother. He stayed there for the entire summer and I wasn't able to get in touch with him at all. When he came back and when school started he had changed quite a bit. He tried out for the football team and all of a sudden I became just an acquaintance passing by in the halls. I thought about trying out for cheerleading just so he wouldn’t forget about me, but I was never really an active person and I probably wouldn’t have made the team anyways.

Throughout junior year, I would wave to him in the halls and say hello but I would always just get a small wave and smile in return. The only time he really talked to me anymore was when he needed help with his homework, when he decided to even do it. When senior year came he became quarter-back and captain of the football team and practically every girl wanted to date him. He was perfect. He had shimmering blue eyes, golden-brown hair, standing six foot three with the body of a Greek God.

I had hoped throughout this upcoming summer I would see him a lot at the beach and outside of his house and maybe we would reconnect. But so far, things weren’t going how I had hoped with Ryan. After the concert, the only time I saw him was in the halls and around the beach. He would be with his friends and I would be with my friends, but he would never catch him even look at me. It’s like I was invisible. Even when I went over and tried to catch up with how everything had been with his family, he would completely blow me off.

I was willing to do almost anything to get him to notice me even as just a friend again. I’ve tried calling him, texting him, going to his house, and I’ve even tried wearing lots of makeup and a dress. The last time I wore a dress was to a Christmas party I went to when I was eight. Nothing I did would get him to talk to me. I don’t know what I did wrong. I figured I needed some assistance figuring out why he was avoiding me. I asked my friend, Sarah what she thought,

“I think he’s a jerk… He thinks he’s too good for you when in reality, you’re way too good for him.” She explained, “You don’t need him, Lexi you can do way better.”

“Sarah, I’ve been practically in love with him my entire life. I don’t think anyone is better than him.”

“Lex, you know you can do better. Have you seen Jake lately? I see him look at you all the time” Jake was the captain of the hockey team.

“Yes, I’ve seen Jake and he’s good looking, but have you also seen his girlfriend, Haley? I don’t think she’d be too happy with anyone even thinking about talking to him.” Haley was like a lioness protecting her baby cub; Jake being the cub.

“Well, Haley’s a b****, he can do better than her.”

“You think everyone can always do better but there’s only so many people on the planet, Sarah. It’s not that I can do better than Ryan, because I’ve had a couple good looking boyfriends throughout my high school years. I just compare everyone of them to Ryan, which I think is a sign that this boy is the one.” At this point I was getting aggravated with Sarah and her way of giving “advice”.

“Why don’t you ask a guy for his point of view? Go ask Ben, I’m sure he’ll be able to help you a little more than I can.” I can tell Sarah was getting annoyed with me too. Asking Ben wasn't a bad idea; Ben had been friends with Ryan and I since third grade when he moved here from Ohio, maybe he'd know what to do. I gave Ben a call the next night.

"Hey Ben! I need your help with something!" I said nervously.
"Yeah Lex, what's up?"

"Well.. You know Ryan and I have always been good friends, right?"

"Right...?" He could almost get where I was going with the question.

"Well, lately he's been completely ignoring me. Has he said anything to you? Did I do something wrong?"

"I haven't talked to him much either Lex, he's been really busy with football and everything. If I were you I wouldn't think too much into it, he's a guy." This would probably would have been every guys answer to my question... He's a guy.

"Okay, I'll try not to think about it I guess. It's just weird that he's shutting me out like this."

"Alright Lex, it's getting late I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight! See ya tomorrow." I said, still questioning myself about the situation with Ryan.

Monday morning about ten minutes before first block started, I saw Ryan. The moment I saw him, everything Sarah and Ben had said to me was gone. It was like I'd need even talked to either of them. I felt like a spirit had taken over me at that moment and I wasn't scared about looking like a lunatic or a freak. I screamed his name down the hallway and tried to get his attention hoping he'd acknowledge me, and surprisingly he did. As he walked over to me, my heart started racing and I suddenly remembered everything I'd been told from Sarah and Ben.

He walked over to me acting like nothing was wrong. "What's up Lex?"

"... Really? 'What's up Lex?' That's all I get after you not speaking to me for over a year?" I said with anger and confusion.

"What do you mean over a year? I say hi to you all the time." Clueless.

"So all I'm worth to you is a simple little hi now? What happened to you?"

"Listen, Lex I don't know what you're talking about. I know were not really as close as we used to be but-"

"Not as close?! You've been blowing me off and giving me the cold shoulder ever since you got on the football team!" My voice was progressively getting louder.

"Can you just calm down and stop yelling? I have to get to class I'm going to be late. We can talk after school, okay? We can meet at the beach."

"Fine." I was beyond annoyed. He thinks he's too good to talk to me for more than five minutes in school. I wasn't getting my hopes up to see him after school, I knew he wasn't going to show and I'd end up standing on the beach alone looking like a fool.

The whole school day was dragging by. All I could think about was our conversation and how he said he would meet me after school. It had been a couple years since I hung out with Ryan alone. It made me nervous just thinking about the slight chance of him actually showing up. I know I said I wouldn't get my hopes up about him meeting me after school but it seems like I can't control the excitement/ nerves of me and him being alone.

There was one class left before that bell rang and I rushed home to see if he would actually be there. The class felt like it lasted three decades. I couldn't pay attention to what anyone was saying, not my teacher and not even my friends. I was in a daze.

It was that time. The bell rang and I ran to my car and tried my hardest not to drive like I was in the Indie 500. I pulled in my driveway and I tried to look down the end of the street to see if he was there yet, he wasn't. I parked my car and went inside and tried to watch television for a while. I tried to not make myself go crazy looking out the window seeing if he was walking down to the beach.

After waiting about an hour watching television and after losing all hope of seeing him I heard I screen door slam shut. I peered out the window at his house. I saw him walking down towards the beach. I tried not to get too excited and rush out the door. I waited about ten minutes before leaving my house and going to meet him. My heart was beating out of my chest with nerves. I had no idea what I was in for, I was just hoping he had an explanation of why I haven't been a part of his life for these last couple years.
I saw him standing at the edge of the water looking out into the horizon.

"Hey Ry," I walked up behind him and he turned around startled. "I'm sorry about getting mad earlier, I just-"

"It's okay, Lex," he cut me off, "I know why you're angry. I haven't been myself around you lately."

"Yeah, I know. What's been going on with you? We've always been so close and now it's like we never met."

"I have to tell you, it was hard not talking to you. I would look at you from down the hall at your locker and I would think about all the good times we used to have."

"Then why did you shut me out like that? I never thought you would do that to me you're my best friend."

"I know. I didn't want to do it but I just couldn't tell you what I had to tell you so I thought it would just be easier to shut you out completely."

"Well, what did you have to tell me? We always told each other everything why is it so hard to do that now?"

"Because it's just... I'm not sure how to tell you something like this."

"Something like what, Ryan just tell me I'm sure it's not that bad." I was starting to get frustrated.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you..." He paused.

"I'm waiting..." he stayed silent for about two minutes.

"My grandmother is making us move to Italy after this summer..."

I didn't know what to say. My heart dropped. I knew I would never be with my best friend. "What..." I was speechless.

"I know. I didn't know how to tell you. You're my best friend and I'm in love with you and I can't stay here.

"What...?" I was processing what he had just said to me.

"I'm moving Lexi, I don't know how else to say it to you. Do I need to spell it out?"

"You love me?"

"What?" He paused. "You never knew? I've loved you since I was twelve years old Lexi."

"Are you serious? Why have you never told me?"

"I thought it would change things, I didn't know if you felt the same way." He said quietly.

"I always have. Apparently you're not good at taking hints"

"Apparently you're not either." We both laughed as we both realized that this was the last summer we had together.

"So... Now what do we do for the rest of the summer?" I asked him hoping he'd have an idea.

"Well, we could either spend the rest of my time here together...-"

"Or..." I said making him finish his sentence.

"Or... We could go back to not talking again." He hesitated, "I'd rather stay with you the rest of the summer but that's up to you."

I smiled and looked out into the sunset. Everything was perfect until I remembered he was leaving at the end of the summer.
I decided that although we both loved each other, that it would be easier to leave it as it was and let him go. I knew we would always love each other and we would always remember our childhood together.

I thought about him every now and then throughout the summer. I even saw him at the beach a couple times and we would smile and wave just like it had been the last couple years but on a friendlier note.

It was the best summer of my life, until it came to an end and I brought Ryan to the airport with his family. They all boarded the plane and I heard my name being screamed from the boarding entrance. I saw him running back out to me. He grabbed my face and kissed me, then ran back on to the plane. No words. Just one kiss that stopped the earth from turning. I felt frozen, not knowing what to do. After he ran back into the plane I fell to my knees and broke down in tears knowing I just let my best friend leave without saying my last words. I love you.