Sorrow Croons As Love Begs

My name is Gerard. My best friend Faith was in love with me, and didn't't even know it. In chemistry we would always get in trouble for talking too loud or eating during class. We would always sit together and talk to each other about everything. Well, at least I thought we did.
There were things Faith had never told me before. There were things that I never knew she did.
One afternoon at school I had just gotten out of photography class. I was talking to my photography teacher about what I should do next with my pictures. She told me I was a great photographer and that I should consider going into photography, she told me that since I’m almost an eighteen year old boy and becoming a young adult that I need to focus on my goals in life, like what college I want to go to and not worrying about girls. She knew about me and Faith, about how close we were.
I loved taking pictures. I would always take pictures of Faith doing stupid things. Like the time when we were in her backyard and she was on the swings and she jumped off and perked her lips with her arms in the air and feet to the side. Or the time when we were in drama class and she was in her Alice in Wonderland costume acting as if she were really Alice and she made this cute little face, with her eyes slightly to the side and her hands on her hips. They always turned out great because Faith had a very beautiful face.
After talking to my photography teacher I started heading over to football practice. I knew I was going to get in trouble because I was late. I had been on the football team for about five years and have never been late. It was a very stressful thing for me because didn't know how coach Lundy would react.
As I was walking to the football field I saw coach and the players gathered up in a circle. “Hey coach, what’s going on?”
“That’s the question I should be asking you”, said coach Lundy.
“Sorry coach...my teacher was talking to me after my last class.”
“That’s no excuse for being late. Go and do suicides all the way down the field and back then give me thirty push ups.”
“Coach it’s my first time being late can’t you give me a break?”
“I’m sorry did you say something?”
“No coach,” I said.
After football practice I headed over to my brother Jeremy’s house. He had just become a father of three. Two boys and a girl. Me and Faith would always go visit them. She loved baby's. She would always kiss on them and play with them. I didn't like kids much, but after seeing the the little ones I started liking them a little bit more.
There were some things Faith didn't know about me either. I was truly and madly in love with her. She was a beautiful girl. She had beautiful dark brown eyes, short dark brown hair, and light-brown soft skin, she was the one for me. Faith was a sweet, loving, independent person. But she also had her moments where she would be rude and sometimes mean. The only time Faith was rude or mean was if she was having a bad day or if it was her time of the month.
I always could tell the difference when others couldn't. The signs were always there. When Faith would have a bad day she would always mumble everything under her breath and have her head down for half the day, but if it was her time of the month she would have her hand on her stomach and complaining about how men don’t get what women go through. This happened to me every time. She would always come to me about everything. We were really close to each other.
Faith was sixteen and I was seventeen, almost eighteen. I turned eighteen on the second of November. Faith turned seventeen on the nineteenth of November and since our birthdays were in the same month we would always celebrate November together. We were a month away from our birthdays and of course Faith was really excited about celebrating it. Every time she brought it up I would always have to tell her that it was only the beginning of October and that we have a few weeks left. I understood where she was coming from though. Every birthday we would spend time together just the two of us and we would buy each other gifts. This year I’m getting her something special.
On the day of my birthday, we decided to do the gift exchange a little different. We were going to exchange on the day of the celebration of our birthday, which was November 10th. I had planned out everything we were going to do.
The very first thing I planned for us was to go to the beach and hang out there for a little while. Second I was going to take her home where I had left her a little present in her room for her to wear after she got freshened up. Third I was going to pick her up at exactly eight o’clock sharp to go to this fancy restaurant called Carmine’s in New York City, which would take us awhile to get too because we lived an hour away.
The night of the celebration had come and so far my plan was working. I picked her up, we went to the beach, walked around a little, and played in the water. Afterwards I began to drive her home. It was almost seven o’clock and I had to come back to get her at eight. I was panicking because I couldn't drive home and come back to get her because by the time I got home I would be late to get her. So I had to make a plan quick.
“Faith before you go,” I said.
“Yes, what is it?”
“I’m coming back to get you at around eight, okay?”
“Wait why,” Faith asked me.
“You’ll see,” I said with a smile on my face.
As I drove off I had just remembered that my friend Emily had lived 20 minutes away from her. When I got to her house I walked up to the door and as soon as I was about to knock on it Emily opened it.
“What are you doing here,” asked Emily.
“I’m here because I’m about to go on a dinner date with my friend Faith. It’s our birthday celebration today.”
“Oh, okay but is there a specific reason why you're here?”
“Yes, I need a place to get dressed at. Please, just this one time. I’m supposed to be picking her up at eight o’clock on the dot.”
“Well you might want to hurry up because it’s almost eight.”
“Why, what time is it?”
“It’s seven-thirty.”
“I have about five minutes to get dressed and twenty minutes to get back to her house so that will leave me fifteen minutes to spare.”
“Okay, hurry and get dressed so you can make it out in time.”
Emily was so excited for me and Faith. She knew I was in love with her. She knew I would give up so much for her. Football, Baseball, friends, you name it I'll do it. I know I sound like a complete idiot, but I feel like I had finally found who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
By the time I got to Faith’s house it had turned eight. So I quickly walked up to the door and when I got up there I saw that the door was slightly opened. I walked in and I called out her name. There was no answer so I ran to Faith’s room immediately thinking of just her and no one or nothing else. When I got to the door I saw that it had a note on it. It read...
Dear Gerard,

I wish you had known earlier about how I felt about you. I wish that we could be together too, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. There were things that you never knew about me and things you never knew I did. It’s hard telling you this in a letter. I wish I could tell you in person, but didn't think that would have been the best choice for me to do. I work for a drug dealer and I also do drugs. I’m sorry I didn't tell you this, but I didn't know how you would react to me doing this stuff. Don’t feel bad for me I don’t deserve your sympathy, I don’t deserve your sorrow, and I don’t deserve your love. I hope one day you will find someone better than me. Someone who is sweet and loving to you as you were to me and someone that loves and cherishes you. I hope for the best.
Love your best friend, Faith.
All I could think about was . . .
Me taking pictures of her doing stupid things. Like the time when we were in her backyard and she was on the swings and she jumped off and perked her lips with her arms in the air and feet to the side. Or the time when we were in drama class and she was in her Alice in Wonderland costume acting as if she were really Alice and she made this cute little face, with her eyes slightly to the side and her hands on her hips. Faith’s pictures always turned out great because she had a very beautiful face, but looks can be deceiving.