Together | Teen Ink

Together

January 26, 2012
By -Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?


I love you.
I always will.
Need I explain?
Three words for you,
I. Love. You.

I am so sorry,
I am not always there for you.
Do you miss me when I am away?
I miss you,
I love you.

I love you.
Why do you love me?
I live so far away,
I am not there for you,
Although I wish I could be.
Why do you love me?

I love you.
I would do anything for you.
Do you know how much I wish was there with you?
I would give anything to live near you,
'Stead of on the other side of the continent.
I miss you so much.

I love you.
I wish you were here.
I wish I was there.
I wish we could be together.
I love you.


The author's comments:
for someone special who lives a long way away :)

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This article has 16 comments.


on Dec. 9 2012 at 4:34 am
L7SquariaN GOLD, Madison Heights, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love, Life, Loyalty, and Living Long Like Legends. That's that L7.

Last stanza: "I wish you were here. I wish I was there." Switch places. Profit?

Anyways... I enjoyed the simplicity of this poem, which envelopes a much more complex dilemma. I am also in a similar situation, yet the distance is not geographical, but rather temporal.

on Apr. 5 2012 at 9:29 pm
_ella_herondale BRONZE, San Diego, California
4 articles 2 photos 222 comments

Favorite Quote:
"...If the Thames that ran beside them...recalled a night where the moon shone as brightly as a shilling on the same boy and girl... and thought to themselves, 'at last, the wheel comes full circle,' they kept their silence."

I like how the last stanza is filled with everything from the earlier stanzas. I do agree that it could be more original, but i think this is fine too!

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 7:38 pm
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

thank you so much for honest feedback! :D

on Feb. 6 2012 at 7:32 pm
Donahue8 BRONZE, Lansdale, Pennsylvania
4 articles 1 photo 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only easy day was Yesterday" -U.S. Navy SEALs

It's good. However, try to avoid stereotypical ideas and topics. Try to come up with new and creative things, or even a new way of wording the old things. It is also a little repetitive, but I'm not saying it's bad! and don't stop writing!!

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:36 pm
AddisonLauren BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
A little too repetitive but it was a nice piece. I did like it.

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 5 2012 at 3:41 am
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

thanks :)

Xatyrn BRONZE said...
on Feb. 5 2012 at 2:00 am
Xatyrn BRONZE, Morgantown, West Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
that which lies unspoken

I can relate to this. I've been in a long distance relationship for a year now, and I've many long distance friends. Good luck with your relations to this person. :3

MissShah GOLD said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 7:12 am
MissShah GOLD, Nawabshah, Other
12 articles 1 photo 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
`Instead of thinking about how to win, think how u lost last time. u will definitely win`- Adolf Hitler.

gud job! :]

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 2:40 am
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

thank you! it means alot :)

Aaka131 SILVER said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 11:59 pm
Aaka131 SILVER, Dunbar, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

This is great and I as well hope that one day you will get to be closer to this person. This poem truly seems to come from the heart and readers can feel the emotion behind it, awesome job:)

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 12:47 am
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

oops ment to reply to this, oh well :P

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 12:45 am
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

thanks! its really hard and its a little different than most relationships i have been in, but i wouldnt trade it for anything :)

on Feb. 3 2012 at 12:29 am
ethan_bane_hope GOLD, Willis, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
there is nothing to fear except fear itself

hope it lets me post this. it was pretty good. sounds like you put lots of emotion onto it and i also hope you live closer to this person

Mary said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 3:33 pm
Oh sorry! I forgot to put it. It's called 'Secrets in the Night'

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 12:26 pm
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

Thank you! :) whats the title of your story?

Mary B. said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 10:09 am
This is so beautiful. I hope someday you get to live closer to this person. I know how painful that can be, so i'm sorry. If you wouldn't mind reading my short story, and maybe commenting if you have enough time, it ould mean a lot :) thanks!