Choice

I was running, dancing really, in an empty meadow when I saw him. I stopped where I was and stood facing him. My skirt was wrapping around my legs and my hair was whipping my face due to the raging winds. He had been watching me from under the cover of the trees. The boy was so beautiful I couldn't help but smile at him. He returned the greeting with a smile of his own and the sight was breathtaking. Our eyes locked. At the very same moment our souls intertwined and bound us together as one.

We frolicked the day away forgetting time, the world, and even ourselves. Together we rolled down hills, chased the wind, basked in the sun (or at least the little bit that wasn't hidden by the overcast clouds), and shared light caresses and a single chaste kiss that ignited an icy flame within my veins. It was wonderful. I had already fallen - hard. The love I felt for him was indescribable. For the first time in long while everything felt right and good. I was whole.

Nothing in life is simple and it's never easy. Really, I should have known better.

Reality came rushing back later when my boyfriend showed up. We had known each other forever and had been childhood playmates. Over the years our friendship had grown into love. We both changed as we started to find ourselves and our place in the world. For me our love became an anchor to the past, which was a safe haven from the outside world. There were no secrets between us as we knew each other like the back of our own hands. The moment he looked at my face I knew he "knew" and the hurt I saw in his eyes killed me. I couldn't stand the fact that I was causing him pain and I knew I was because if he felt even half of what I did then he was hurting terribly. I loved him, truly, I did and - he was my best friend. Tears streamed down my face as I confessed my feelings. He looked at me for a long time without saying anything. A tiny piece of my heart broke with each second that passed. Finally, he broke the heart wrenching silence. "You know I can make you happy and that we fit well together. Why are you doing this? I love you," he said with tears in his own eyes. I was completely helpless and all I could do was sob "I love you too. You know I do. But I'm in love with him." His fists clenched and I whispered "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." "You're making the wrong decision," he warned then walked away from me. Then he suddenly turned back to me with his heart in eyes and said, "If you change your mind...". I knew I wouldn't, so I told him "I won't," because I owed him that much at least.

Sadness was replaced with joy and guilt was replaced with pride. Love was given and love was received. He was everything I wanted and all I needed. As we sat watching the sun set in the twilight hours of the night on top of a hill in the meadow where we met I knew without a doubt that I made the right choice.

My concept of forever had changed after just three days...