Suicidal Love (part 2) | Teen Ink

Suicidal Love (part 2)

April 20, 2010
By Belinda Burger SILVER, Fresno, California
Belinda Burger SILVER, Fresno, California
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

First it asks me to create a login name; I choose to make my username Stella_Star09. Stella Star is what my mom used to call me when I was little; my eyes tear up a little at the memory of my mom. Next was password then first name then email address. I quickly filled it out. As soon as I pressed the Sign Up button I was linked to a page where I could create my profile. First was the background, I decided on a purple rose in a black background. Then it asked me to fill out personal info:
Favorite song(s): Seventeen Forever, Dance Dance, and lips of an angel
Favorite color(s): purple, black and midnight blue
Favorite movie(s): Titanic
Relationship status: Single
Hobbies: Drawing and reading
I’m interested in: guys
About me: Hi I’m Estella. I’m 5’5, have long black hair, bright blue eyes, very fair skin and my style is sort of rocker chickish
I hit the save button and my new profile comes up. I scroll over the tab that says stuff to do:
Message boards
Personality Quizzes
Articles
Polls
Search for people
Videos
I click on the message board’s link and wait for it to load. When it does I scroll through the categories: advice, movies, books, music. I click the link for music and see what boards people have posted. I scan the options and see one that says: Metro Station vs. Fall Out Boy. I click it and see what people have written:
Black_rose101: FOB is so much better. Metro Station is just another Cyrus ploy. None of that family has any real talent.
Emo_screamo: I disagree trace actually is really talented. Like his voice mason’s=awesome harmony. And yes I am a guy saying this but i=straight.
I laughed at that comment & decided to write a comment of my own.
Stella_star09: I have 2 agree with ES trace does have talent and an amazing voice even if it is kinda scratchy it compliments mason’s deep voice. What’s your fave song ES?
Emo_screamo: Somebody with taste finally my prayers=answered lol :]. My favorite song is………Kelsey. I’d love to find a girl worthy of making me promise that stuff to.
Stella_Star09: AWWWWWW you’re a romantic how cute :] u sure ur straight? lol
Emo_screamo: Yes I’m sure I know hard 2 believe with my feminineness.
Stella_star09: lol ya most guys have one thing on their mind…if you catch my drift…
Emo_screamo: so is ur full name estella or are u just stella?
Stella_star09: my full name is estella. What about you?
Emo_Screamo: Full name is Alexander but I go by Alex.
Black_rose101: sorry to break up your chat but I’m closing this board so u 2 need 2 scoot on out k thx
Emo_screamo: aww but the convo just started :[
Stella_star101: h/o I’ll make a new board
Emo_screamo: how do I know which board is urs???
Stella_star09: it says the creator of the board smart one lol
Emo_screamo: right lol.
I exited out of that board and clicked the create new board link. I titled it: SS <3 Metro Station
A few minutes later Alex appeared in the room:
Emo_screamo: hey!
Stella_star09: hey you long time no see lol
Emo_Screamo: I know! 5 minutes=eternity in alex time.
Stella_star09: Alex time? Lol
Emo_screamo: ya! It’s my way of time. Like a few minutes feels like 4ever. Have you ever had that feeling where time like stops?
I think about when I downed those pills and almost died. Then I type:
Stella_star09: uh…not tht I recall lol
Emo_screamo: me either! Lol I wanna feel it though tht’d be awesome!
Stella_star09: a little hyper are we?
Emo_screamo: ya idk why I was fine a few minutes ago…..
Stella_star09: hmmmm odd…lol perhaps ADD?
Emo_screamo: haha very funny lol brb
I decide to take the time he’s away to check out his profile: First I see his profile pic; he’s not bad looking to be honest, tallish, long dark brown hair, bangs covering one eye, really pretty sea-blue eyes and by the black muscle shirt he’s wearing I can see he definitely isn’t scrawny. I scroll through his favorites and then see his relationship status: single. Interesting, I think, then I become logical, falling for a guy on the internet= very bad idea he probably lives in a completely different state anyway. I scroll down to the contact info to city & state: Brick Town, New Jersey. He lives in my town…. Oh my god.
Emo_screamo: back
Stella_star09: ok
Emo_screamo: so how come u don’t have a pic of urself up?
Stella_star09: I’m new on here so…
Emo_screamo: oh let me be the 1st 2 welcome u :]
Stella_star09: lol thank you
Emo_screamo: so are u gonna put up a pic cause I wanna see u, you can check out my profile pic right now if u want :]
Stella_star09: lol already did :]
Emo_screamo: I’m hoping tht smile is a good thing
Stella_star09: of course lol u don’t look like a creepy old man so its all good. Hang on a sec I’ll look 4 a good pic to post.
Emo_screamo: ok
I quickly go through the pics my dad took while we were at the park last month. I decide to post a picture of me leaning on a rock by the creek, the lighting is really pretty and so is the background. After I put it up I type:
Stella_star09: OK it’s up :]
Emo_screamo: That is a really amazing picture. Is it professionally taken?
Stella_Star09: Sort of my dad’s job is taking photos at weddings & he took the picture
Emo_screamo: He takes good pictures, the lighting is perfect. The background is amazing, and familiar…
Stella_star09: How so?
Emo_screamo: it looks a lot like this park in my town called Brick-wood Park
So he is really from my town, I think.
Stella_star09: that’s cause that’s where we took it.
Emo_screamo: you live in brick Town too????
Stella_star09: yep my whole life
Emo_screamo: this is so cool. I’m assuming we go 2 diff schools
Stella_star09: I think so cause I’ve never seen u around school b4
Emo_screamo: lol I’d definitely have remembered ur face, most girls at my school have tan made up faces but u are like a porcelain doll only w/out the make up. U have natural beauty
Stella_star09: oh thanks lol
Emo_screamo: so would it be ok if I added you to my frends list?

Stella_Star09 I’d be honored lol. But I g2g so ttyl k? bye
Emo_screamo: bye


The author's comments:
part 2 of suicidal love

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