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I remember the first time I saw you. I now remember every little detail, although I don’t exactly remember the sequence. The shade of your blue eyes and the way they looked through me. Every fiber in my body all had the same goal in mind-making sure I did not faint from the breathlessness. This feeling is not completely new to me. Yes, I have had countless crushes before. Each one I fall harder than the next. Now I am completely out of my element.
Cheerleaders chanting to keep spirits alive even though were losing beyond badly. There’s not even a word for how bad our school is doing. Smells wafting from every direction. Pizza, soft pretzels, candy that has a high intensity smell that reminds me of perfume, echoing conversations giving me symptoms of the beginning buzz of a headache-where is Advil when you need it?
The most new thing about that night where I was dragged away from my usually world of music and movie land, was you. You captured my attention with..well I don’t know what it was because I’m not usually attracted to guys like you. A little more lanky, long features, long black hair that is about the length as my always shoulder length hair, your attire of super super super extra skinney jeans. Your legs are skinnier than mine by far. Your searching eyes that were..okay cliché alert..your mysterious eyes. They really were mysterious. The whole time I was pretending to watch the game, but really I was entranced by you. Were you looking at me because I looked familiar? Did you notice me staring and wonder why I’m being a noticeable creeper? Jeez that makes me worse because I can’t even be a secretive creepier. Whatever the emotion was hidden in your mind, I wanted to figure you out.
I think my friends knew I found you attractive. I could tell because my friend, who everyone knows as the biggest flirt, mentioned and pointed you out with her red nail polished finger. For some reason when she knows me or one of my friends likes a guy, it’s like she’s seeing them for the first time and instantly becomes attracted. Or just show off her status as queen of the dating pool and how she can make any guy fall to their knees. You were staring at her weren’t you? I wouldn’t be surprised. Every guy can’t help but notice her. Her perfect figure, outgoing personality, confidence, how she makes you like her when all you want to do is hate her. And her blonde hair that dangles halfway down her back. By the way, why do guys like blondes so much? I don’t get the big hype about them. If you ask me brunettes are better. Well I’m biased because my hair is brown. Oh and just to throw things out there, she’s not a real blonde. Yep she’s a phony. She’s a dirty blonde. Yep she made it the almost white blonde. She’s really dirty blonde. She doesn’t deserve your attention…or were you really studying me? You kept tilting your head strategically so our eyes met awkwardly. Were you trying to hold my gaze while I shyly glanced away? Aww man you were and I am the biggest jerk in the world for not smiling back at you. I just stared like an idiot because I was swept away by your smile. Blue eyes and amazing smile. Hook line and sinker. You had me on a silver platter.
Another good thing was you didn’t seem like a jerk. When your friends made inappropriate gestures toward the herd of cheerleaders you just shook your head and did this cute thing with your eyes where you rolled them and closed them slightly and reopened them, annoyance but brotherly love written on your face. I couldn’t help but smile while I watched this playful show of emotion on your face. You caught me looking and for the first time I held your gaze. When I did you looked curiously at me, like you were noticing me for the first time. Please come over and talk to me. Show Flirty mc Flirt Tessa that a girl like me attracts guys. Make me blush, make me giggle stupidly, make me want to kiss you in front of the whole school multiple times, make me feel love for the first time. I screamed these thoughts to myself. When we were about to leave I panicked. I didn’t want to never see you again. In your eyes I could see a blossoming future love. Love me love me say that you love me. Jeez I was just exploding with geekiness at the exact moment you tapped on my shoulder before I reached the parking lot. I remember Tessa furrowing her eyebrows like it was in style. She almost came over and ruined our moment, but luckily my other gal pals held her back. I was caught off guard and to my horror almost spilled the soda I had been sipping all night over your what looked like a brand new t-shirt. Thankfully you noticed the spilling soda and moved out of the way. I thought you would freak then leave, but instead you smiled. I watched the wind blow your hair. Finally I had a better view of your eyes.
“Wow I haven’t even introduced myself and you’re already trying to spill your soda on me,” you said putting your hands in your pockets. I wondered how soft they were, how they would feel on my skin. Probably heavenly. “As you can see I have a way with girls,” you said laughing softly to yourself. A warm fire on a cold day. You looked down at your feet and then looked up…were you actually nervous?
“Oh and my name is Jack by the way,” you said licking your lips. I wondered what it felt like to be kissed at that moment. I could see us at my locker kissing. Sharing our own secret moment together…… like that would ever happen. I stood there and managed to give a closed mouth smile. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. In and out. In and out.
“Yeah hi I’m Victoria.” I said running my fingers through my hair. I hoped it was a good flirtatious manner. I suck at this kind of thing. Again you smiled, but it was a new smile I hadn’t seen at all that night and I loved it. It’s like you smiled unknowingly. A secret smile that only you knew was there.
“I knew you would have a beautiful name… I’ve been trying to figure it out all night,” you said gazing straight into my eyes. Right then my nerves started doing hopscotch and I got that tingling feeling that feels weird but amazing at the same time. I gave out a giggle and looked at my feet. When I looked up you had that nervous look again…were you really nervous? “Well the reason I came over was to….. well I wanted…..can I have your number?” I gave it to you no questions asked.
Later the next day I was sitting in my room counting all the reasons why you wouldn’t call. I was completely awkward during our whole conversation, my hair was a tangly mess, and I didn’t have any makeup on. Great job Victoria. You slam dunk with guys. Please call please call please call. It’s been a day. It’s bad to leave a girl hanging. Please call please call please call. I’m not that bad. I didn’t think you would call. I mean why would you want to call me? Hours later I was about to give up and call it a night when I opened my phone to check the time. I’m the biggest idiot. Yeah my phone was on silent and I had missed calls. Both from you and a voicemail from you as well.
“Hey its Jack…come on you can’t start ignoring me already we haven’t gone on our first date…which can be this weekend if you’d like.. Well I’ll call you later. Hopefully I’ll get to hear your present sweet voice Victoria..” I saved that message to remind me it was real..You really called me. This doesn’t happen to girls like me. This happens to the Tessa’s of the world.
Well it didn’t take long for me to figure out that you were meant to be mine. I should have known. You were showing off your smooth sweet personality I have come to love and you are awkward just like me. I didn’t think I would find someone who shared that quality with me. Each day I thank my lucky stars that you approached me that night and called me the next day. You taught me love…as well as how to dominate at guitar hero. Which, I have totally begun to kick you’re a** at. Oh and you also taught me to cuss. You turned me into a sailor with all those nights I wanted to slap you and kiss you. Scream at you and whisper I love you…How do you always do that to me? I see one blond curl near you, cousin,friend, teacher..my heart sets ablaze…how do you always make me so confused? I don’t even know who I am anymore..you run your smooth fingers across my hand.. a feeling I am quite fond of……you look at me and your blue eyes look into my soul…you say my name is beautiful every day… Each time I smile. Is this really love?... I look at you sitting across from me writing. A song I suppose. Suddenly you stop and gaze up… Reading my mind you kiss me and whisper yes in my ear. God I love you…even though you turned me into a complete psycho.