We sat there on the couch, my head against his arm. I loved him, more than I had loved anyone else in my life. Because we were so close, I ended up falling for him. He didn’t feel the same, at least not anymore. We were together for a while, held hands and stuff, but I ended our relationship three times, each time he still loved me more than I deserved, but I wouldn’t get back with him again after that. He said I was his first true love, and he would never forget me. We vowed to stay best friends for as long as we possibly could. That’s what we are now, but I never truly got over my feelings for him. While I thought about him, he was probably thinking of the other girl he liked. The two of them had gotten together a few weeks after I finally ended it with him, and I began to feel very jealous. He didn’t pay as much attention to me, hardly even talk to me some days; too busy talking to that girl. When he did talk to me, it was about her. It hurt like no tomorrow. I even went on a little “date” with the two of them, along with some friends. I didn’t want to go, but the girl offered and I wanted to meet her so I went. I felt ignored the entire time all of us were around, all he did was pay attention to her. That night I talked to him about, telling him how I felt about the night. After that, I began to feel depressed, and I began to loose all interest in my music, which I normally loved to listen to. All my songs reminded me of him, and it just hurt me more to listen to them. I felt useless and unloved. I stayed depressed for a couple weeks, not seeming like it would go away. At a time I even thought about death.
Eventually I came out of the little depressed stage, and began to look on the brighter sides of things. Since I knew we weren’t going to be together I wanted to support him and the new girlfriend, despite any jealous feelings I felt. A couple weeks later, he told me they broke up and he was pretty upset. I encouraged him that everything would be alright, but even though they weren’t together, he still thought about her and hopes they’ll get back together. I encourage him, knowing that’s all I can do. Looking past feelings and being the friend a person needs is a tough thing to do, but I try my best, for him. So as we sat there on the couch, together I thought to myself, “This is it. This is all we’ll ever be. Just friends from here on out…”