This is Home | Teen Ink

This is Home

November 17, 2017
By vvolleyballl7 BRONZE, Canton, Michigan
vvolleyballl7 BRONZE, Canton, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

 I always thought that my parents were hiding something from me, but I never knew that I would actually find out what it was.

     My best friend Brianna always comes over. People say we look and act alike but I don’t see it. Yeah we both have brown hair and hazel eyes, but things have changed over time. I cut my hair short and she kept hers long and charming because her mother insisted of having a “daughter like rapunzel.” In reality … that will never happen. But I also don’t understand how people think we act alike. She’s literally the nicest person ever. She always asks how your day is going and she always listens to your boring stories that no one else wants to listen to. Yeah, so then there’s me … the girl that walks around constantly on her phone and blocking out the real world. The girl who stays in her room all day and just stares at the ceiling. Last but not least, the girl whose parents are under the impression that she is depressed and lonely. Funny right? Yep, I know. Anyhow, Brianna walks over to my house almost everyday in the summer. But whenever she walks in, I think she can tell that i’m confused about something. She never seems to ask about it so I don’t feel the need to tell her. Yes she's my best friend but she doesn’t need to know everything. If she doesn’t ask, then I don't tell. Furthermore, It's like i’m always questioning something and worried about something. But when she came to my house one day, she found me listening to my parents talking in the kitchen. She yanked me back and pulled me up the stairs. She was so confused because she knows that I never do that kind of stuff … like listen in on people's conversations because I always talk about how privacy is so important.


     “They were talking about it,” I uttered, “I didn’t know it was true, but they were talking about them!”


     I kept rambling on and on about “them”  but Brianna didn’t even know who “they” were. I didn’t want to tell her but I could tell that she wanted to know. So she grabbed me and walked out the door. We walked to Brianna's house because her parents weren’t home and she wanted to talk in private.


     “What did you hear?” Brianna questioned when we walked into her house.


     “Birth parents. My birth parents. Brianna, I am 14 and they never decided to tell be that I was adopted!” I shouted


I think she thought I was crazy because she had known me her whole life and this had never come up. Plus, I could tell that she didn't know whether to question me or believe me. But I don’t think she wanted to ask anymore questions which I was confused about. I truly did not care if she asked another question or not. Brianna knows not to tell people about this. But for now, it is just me and her and i’m not stoked about it.
     Brianna started speaking in a settle voice. “Maybe there is something that you can look for. Something that will actually tell you if it's true. Or maybe … wait!” Brianna yelled , “Your older brother. If you don’t want to talk to your parents about this right now, then talk to him. I guarantee he knows something”
     My brother Emmett and I are  extremely close. Even though he is leaving for college in a couple weeks, he can always make time for me. Mostly because he has no social life and or friends. Anyways, I tell him everything and he always knows how to help. So I’m praying that he knows something because if not, I might lose it and just run away forever. Im exaggerating, chill. I called Emmett and asked if he could come to Brianna’s to help us with something. Of course he could. As I said before, what could he possibly be doing at the time. Plus I’m his little sister that is in desperate need of help.
     “Emmett, is it true? Am i adopted?” I asked
     As smart as Emmett is, and as smart as he is with his words… he did not know how to handle this one. He just stood there in shock. All three of them were just standing there and Briana didn’t know whether to say something or not.
     “Are you just gonna stand there? Say something!” I snapped. “And don’t say that you don't know because we know good and well you do.”
     “Okay this is really hard for me because I never knew it would come up and I never thought this through or made a script to help me. So...“ He didn’t get to finish because I slapped him.
     “Emmett shut up. It’s not that solid of question. It’s a yes or a no. Simple,” I exclaimed


     “I mean if you ask me, it's kind of a hard question. I…” I slapped him harder this time so he didn't get to finish. He went on with his sentence. “Okay okay. Fine. I’m sorry Lucy but yes, you’re adopted. And please don’t slap me because it’s not my fault”


     All I could think about was crying. And I did. I ran out the door crying. But Brianna and  Emmett didn’t chase after me and i’m fine with that I guess. I wanted to be alone so I could think about everything anyways. I ran back to my house and just sat on my doorstep. It was nice. The sun was shining and it must have been 90 degrees. But that didn’t bother me. I was too busy thinking about what I should do. I didn't know whether to talk to my my parents or not. What would I even say, “I'm adopted? Thanks for telling me. Bye now.” Yeah no. I can’t be harsh about this but I really want to. I just want to scream at them. I have a right to, but I won't. From what i've heard, most adopted kids find out when they’re adopted at a pretty young age. Not too young to where they won’t understand, but an age that they can ask questions and be subtle about it. A 14 year old girl can not be subtle about this. Knowing that the house that you have been living in for years, and the family that you have supposedly called yours isn't even your real family … that makes me sick. I need to talk to my parents


     “Lucy, before you go talk to them, please talk to me,” Emmett called as he ran up to me.


     “What is there to say,” I shouted. “I'm adopted and my family never seem to tell me. There’s really nothing else to say. Just let me talk mom and dad, thank you.”


     Before I even stepped into my house, my mom and dad opened the door and came out because I think they heard me and Emmett screaming at each other. Oh well.


     “What is going on here?” My mom screamed.


     “What’s going on with you and dad? Mom, I am 14 and I guess you guys didn’t have the balls to tell me i'm adopted. And don’t say that you forgot or you think i'm too young because 14 years is sure a long time to forget about something and 14 is a pretty mature age on my part.”


     Both my parents slowly looked at Emmett. He turned around fast and pretended that he didn't do anything. He stood there, with his back turned at us, trying to whistle his way out of this.


     “Emmett what the heck,” my mom bawled. “We all agreed telling her together”


     “Hmm telling me when mom. Next week? Next month? Next year? When mom?” I hollered.


     I told myself to keep it together and not get mad but I couldn’t help it. I just could not understand. Not one bit.


     Finally in a subtle voice my mom spoke back. “Your dad and I were going to tell her soon I promise. It was just way to hard. We kept telling ourselves that we would do it the next day. Then the next and the next. Then we just decided not to do it yet because we were just too scared. And we still are scared. We didn’t know if you would hate us or not want to talk to us or even worse, leave us.”


     “Mom, dad, I would never do any of those things. You guys will always be my parents and nothing will ever change that. I just wanted to know the truth,” I expressed.


     Then my mom started crying, and my dad. Even Emmett and I have never seen him cry. Watching all of them cry made me cry. I felt so bad so I couldn’t help it. Next thing you know we are just all sitting there crying and watching Emmett cry made me laugh. He’s just so funny with his long hair getting all in his eyes and his glasses slipping off his face. He saw me laughing so then he started laughing and then all four of us were laughing and hugging each other. Truthfully it made me uncomfortable hugging Emmett because he is just so … ew.


     “I love you guys and I will never leave. I promise,” I said that as I was crying so I mumbled and i'm pretty sure they didn’t understand me.


     I decided that it would be best to save the whole me being adopted situation for another time because I couldn’t even handle it that day. It was all too nerve wracking to think about. I know this is my family but thinking that my birth parents are somewhere out that just scares me. I don't really want to know about them either because maybe they don't even want anything to do with me. Why would they? They gave me up for a reason and it was probably a great reason. They gave me a great a family and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. They gave me a wonderful life and that’s the best part. So my birth parents can wait. I have all the time in the world to find them. Today is just not the day.


The author's comments:

     My life would be a whole lot easier if I just knew the truth. Plus, if I knew thr truth sooner.

     I've always thought that something was off with my family but I just thought I was crazy. If I has been with my family forever, then nothing could be worng ... Right? I guess not because the news hurt. It hurt bad but there is nothing I can do about it. I'll just put on a brave face and save the whole situation for later. It can wait, but not forever


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