Love /luv/ n 1:strong affection 2:warm attachment 3:a beloved person 4:unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others

I have read this definition every single day and still I cannot make myself to understand. How could you have left me? Was I not enough for you? When you laced your hand in mine, I for sure thought that it would be forever. You always told me it would be that way. Forever. But here I was everyday flipping through the dictionary to find the definition of what we had...without you.

Mom tells me that things will get easier in time, but I don’t know when that day will be. It certainly doesn’t seem as though it’s coming any day soon. In fact, if anything, things are getting harder. How am I supposed to go through the motions everyday when I know that you won’t be downstairs sipping your black coffee? How am I supposed to smile if you aren’t there to crack a lame joke? How am I supposed to be Daddy’s girl if I don’t have a father to impress?

I know it is probably impossible for you to come back home, but you had always taught me to give it a try even with the odds against me. So this is me asking for you to return to Mom and I. For you to be sitting on the couch yelling at the football game every Sunday afternoon. For you to rekindle the fire while the green world turns white. For you to sit up in those stands to watch as I hit a homerun. For you to kiss my forehead each night before I fall to sleep. For you to hear me tell you that I love you.

But it’s not possible. I know that because there’s another word in the dictionary that I visit quite often.

Death /deth/ n  1:the end of life 2:the cause of loss of life 3:the state of being dead 4: destruction, extinction