I tuck the red, 49ers blanket around my daughter. It’s old and worn from the years her father used it. Clutched to her chest is a small, brown and white stuffed horse. This she got from me. The horse too is well worn from the years of use I got out of it as a child. I lean down and kiss her forehead. She grabs my hand, “Mommy?”
I look into her gray eyes, “Yea baby?” I settle back down next to her.
“Why do you cry when Daddy says he loves you?” Oh the innocence of a five year old. I smile down at her.
“Well baby there’s a story behind that.” She sits up eagerly, leaning against her pillows.
“Will you tell me?” Her eyes are wide with wonder. She loves stories, she tries to get Timmy to tell her some but I won’t let him. I love him but there are some things from his childhood she doesn’t need to know about.
I can’t resist her smile, “Okay baby. But then it’s bedtime,” She nods eagerly. “When Daddy and I first met in high school he had some very specific beliefs. We both had crushes on each other but I was the one that asked him out.” She giggles at that. “We started dating and within a couple months I fell in love with him but I was afraid to tell him.”
“Why were you scared?” She asks me.
“Because, daddy had been hurt. Hurt so bad he didn’t believe in love anymore. I knew that and I thought if I told him how I felt I’d scare him away. But then I remembered a promise I made to him, and myself, when we got together. I promised him that one day I would make him believe in love.” I smile at the memory.
“Did you keep your promise?”
“Yeah baby I did. I took a while but one night we were talking on the phone before he hung up he said, Love you night beautiful. He said it in a rush and hung up before I could respond.” I lean towards her and whisper, “I think he was nervous. Even after that first time he didn’t say it very often. It was years before he was comfortable saying it on a regular basis. You see daddy never loved anyone else. And I didn’t have very good self esteem so it always amazed me that he wanted to be with me. Now, I’m still amazed that someone as normal as me could make him believe in love again.  That’s why I cry when he says he love me.”
“I love you mama,” She hugs me.
I return her embrace, “I love you too baby. Will you remember something for me?” She yawns and nods sleepily. “Those three words can have a huge impact on someone, so don’t say it unless you mean it. I know it seems small, it’s just one simple sentence, but those three little words can change someone’s life.”