Dear John,

You are simply the worst of worst ideas, but the way you looked at me and made me feel welcome even in the midst of your cheery, unapologetic, unscrupulousness made me feel like you could turn me into a rebel if I did not hold fast to my conviction. That could be okay. After all, a puzzle could be fun, and what’s more of a puzzle than a shattered heart? And who knew that my convictions could fade with a little mischievous grin?

Your smirk says that you’ve done this before, that I’m not the first girl who hasn’t been loved before who wants to know what it’s like to have her hand held and to be caught in a warm embrace at the most unexpected moment. You’re curious, too. You want to know if you can change me, corrupt me, and make me into a person like you, just long enough to satisfy your ego. My heart tells me to beware, that your “love” should be considered inhumanely criminal, but your twinkling eyes and contagious laughter lowers my guard.

You concern yourself with me and my happiness, but only enough so that intrigue overwhelms me, and not enough that you have any emotional attachment or commitment to the girl with the big, trusting eyes, and the caring, hopeful heart. I thought the devil held a pitchfork and burned people; I’m surprised to see that instead, you’re a beautiful, sculpted, man with great hair, an infectious laugh, an inviting voice, and tattoos that tell stories that I would only have time to hear about if we went for a “quick cup of coffee” that lasted four hours and ended with a kiss goodnight.

I have standards, and they are important, but sometimes I’m curious about if I know what I’m doing with my standards because your daring words and your fierce rebellion seems to offer you and everyone around you some sort of adrenaline rush. Until the night when you acquired my number from the girl who I mistakenly thought was like me- shy, naive, unaware of the intentions of an attractive, young man who wanted to take on the world- I had everything figured out. Now I have only questions. I like that. Thank you. 

Love, 

The girl that you're slowly destroying, but who is too infatuated to look away.