Why? Why does she have to hold me back from everything? It's a party. I'm 17. I'll be fine. I will be moving out in about a year... I should be able to make my own decisions. This is ridiculous.
"Layla!!! Layla!!!" she screeches at me.
"Yes, mother" I reply while ripping the head phones out my ears.
"Did you tell your brothers we were leaving?"
"Um. Was I suppose to..."
"Keep the attitude up and we'll see where your butt's gonna be next weekend, young lady."  While swinging the car door open and stumping towards the house, I'm screaming, "Eden. Hudson. Come on, we're leaving right now". There they came... those two monsters come sprinting towards me and jumped with joy into the van. The sight of their excitement for this dinner with the family was a tad bit too much to handle.
"Mom, Dad.. who's going to this gathering" I pronounce, "oh and where is it exactly"
"Your aunt from Colorado came down last night and she's the one who arranged this whole event, isn't that so sweet of her?"
Rolling my eyes and thinking about the previous time she came down to visit, I responded, "Oh. Ha. Yay!"
"Layla!! I don't know what has gotten into you, but this behavior is extremely uncalled for."
"Dad... Can we just take a moment to reminisce on the last time Aunt Lou came down and literally made us sit at home the whole weekend and watch family videos?"
"Yes Layla, I do. But guess who's not going out this weekend anyway and guess who's not gonna have a problem staying home all weekend watching family videos? You. Got it?"
Without responding, I leaned over the middle consul and turned the radio up. Not that I needed to though because I knew moments after I would throw my head phones back in. As I turned it on, I hear, "Sunday morning, rain is falling. Steal some covers, share some skin. Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable. You twist to fit the mold that I am in." I sat back, face still red from the argument, breathing heavy, trying to act as though I don't love this song at all.
"Layla. Don't act like you don't want to sing. C'mon." Eden whispers in my right ear. Giggling, I turn to Eden and say, "If only you knew, bud."
My whole family, besides me of course, is jamming out to my song. I sat still for a moment and considered beginning to sing. Nah. I just sat. Sat listening to, "That maybe all I need. In darkness, she is all I see. Come and rest your bones with me. Driving slow on Sunday morning. And I never want to leave." Then I looked right, seeing Eden nodding his little head to the beats, and then left, as Hudson is making up his own words. Then.. I looked straight. I saw the lights. The white and red. The feeling was still for a moment. Then bam. Silence.
I lay on my side, holding my feet in as close as possible while hearing their voices. I can hear Eden and Hudson screaming. What happened? Why does my back hurt? Why can't I open my eyes? Where are my parents? What's going on?
"Ma'am. Ma'am. Everything is going to be okay. I need you to look at me." A voice is politely but loudly screaming at me.
Effortless. Effortless is the only word I can use to explain how I feel. I am trying my hardest to even squint my eyes. But nothing. I now try to speak but my mouth is not able to open. Why is this happening? I now feel hands all on me. Am I being lifted? Yes! I am! Where am I going?
"We need another ambulance. NOW!" Screeches a man in the distance.
Ambulance. What.. I begin wiggling my finger tips, trying to find some energy to move my arm. It's working! I slowly bring my arm towards my face. There's blood. I can feel it. I can't stop though. I finally reach my face and wipe my eyes. I can slightly peek out of the opening I am allowing but not much is visible. All I see are red and blue and white lights. Where's my family? Are they okay?
"This one is not breathing. I NEED BACKUP!!" Using every ounce of energy I have, I open my eyes and turn my head oh so slightly to my left. It's my mom. She is just laying there. There are men surrounding her with machines and a gurney. She is dead. I know she is. They just announced that it will be another 5 minutes until the next ambulance can arrive.
"That's too long. He won't make it. We need help!! Pronto." Says a voice to my right.
I jerk my head to the right. Seeing him lay there. Blood surrounding him. My dad is gone. He was always the one to hold up a fight until the last given moment. And now... there was nothing.
A few short moments passed and I noticed more lights were approaching. Is that help? Please. Help my family!!! Wait. Where are Eden and Hudson? I turned my head left again and then back right. Nowhere.
"They are fine. Broken arm on one and possible fractured rib on the other, but they are good." One  voice says to another. Where are they coming from? Behind me? I need to sit up. I need to see them. I am now using every muscle in my arms to sit myself up and turn around. I get it! I'm up. Now I slowly turn my head around and see them. They were both laying on the ground with men surrounding them. Crying. Crying harder than I have ever seen them before. Hudson had his left arm pulled in tight to his chest as though he was a little boy having this teddy bear taken away from him.
"Ma'am. I'm going to have to ask you to lay back down. Your body needs to rest," a young man says to me.
"But.. But... My family," I cry out, "why did this happen?"
"It's all going to be okay. We are about to get more help and begin heading to the hospital. But for now I need you to lay back down." I slowly lay back down, wipe the blood and tears off my eyes once more, but then I begin feeling movement under my stretcher.
"We are bringing you into the ambulance right now, sweetie. Just hang tight. Everything is going to be okay." A soothing, innocent little voice says from under me. Now, I just stare at the ambulance ceiling, wondering where my family is. But before I knew it, I was being rushed into the ER and had people moving me onto a hospital bed as though I was dying or something. I am honestly fine. It's my mom, dad, Eden, and Hudson who need this bed. Not me. I begin looking around the room as the doctors slowly leave me be.
"Where is my family?" I pronounce, "I just want to see them. Where are the boys? They are probably so confused."
The last nurse to leave the room heard me, turned around, and stared at me with those eyes. Those eyes that had the words written in them. The words of fear and emptiness. "Your brother are going to be fine, Layla. Don't you worry."
"Okay," I cry out, "But... But... Where are my parents?" She now approaches me. I look at her name tag and see the name Amy. Before I could say anything, the tears flowed down my face. Amy. My nurse would have the same name as my mother. Why is this happening. I feel her gentle hands grasp both of mine and squeeze them tight. She loosened one and used it to whip my tears and then said to me, "They are okay, my darling. They are with God."
"No!! No!! They can't be. I need them. I didn't even get to..." And then my tears took over my vocal cords and I couldn't even finish my sentence.
"Why is it sweetie. What did you not get to do?"
"I didn't get to tell them I loved them." I screamed,  "I didn't get to thank them for everything they have done for me. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. They have loved me non- stop, even when I didn't deserve it. They cared for me. They would never let anyone or anything harm me. They loved me and I never showed them I loved them back. My last words to them were in an argument... over going to a stupid party. I never got to tell them..."
"Tell them...?"
"I loved them."