Lily. | Teen Ink

Lily.

February 18, 2015
By genmam BRONZE, Stan, California
genmam BRONZE, Stan, California
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

“Lily Ackrod, will you go to Prom with me?”
Lily’s wide, blue eyes continued to stare at Dylan in disbelief as the last word escaped his mouth. She had been expecting this invitation from her best friend for quite some time, ever since freshman year when they made a pact to go to Senior Prom together. Still, her mouth hung open as she attempted to find the one word she was looking for in her vocabulary.
“Y-y-yes,” she stammered out, her voice barely audible.
“Whoohooo!” a nearby student cheered as Dylan handed Lily a bouquet of bright pink carnations and leaned in to give her a big hug.
“Can you believe this? After eight years of being friends, our Senior Prom has finally arrived,” Dylan said as the two walked to Lily’s locker to put her flowers in a safe place.
“I know! And thank you for these, they’re beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“I can’t wait to tell my mom all about this when we get out of school!” Lily said excitedly.
“I bet she’ll love to hear all about it,” Dylan said as he ran his fingers through his shaggy, curly, black hair.
      ***
Lily walked briskly out of school until she reached her next destination. She paced through isles and isles of the familiar grey stones that were covered with flower bouquets and balloons until she found the quaint little tree she had been looking for. Lily sat down in the shade as her eyes met the most familiar stone of all. Her eyes traced the lettering that she felt she had read a million times:
Claire Lynn Ackrod, 1963-2010, Beloved Mother, Daughter, and Wife; Welcome Home to God’s Kingdom.
“Hey Mom! So guess what? I got asked to Prom today!” Lily explained as she pulled out the flowers that Dylan had given her earlier.
“They’re carnations; he knows they’re my favorite. And he even got a light pink lily for me to give to you. He remembered how you used to have a whole garden of them in the backyard,” Lily rambled as she pulled the lone flower out of the bouquet and placed it on the foot of the headstone.
“So Prom’s in six weeks, and I was thinking about ordering a dress online. I know I’m supposed to be paying attention at all times in class, but it was Biology and we weren’t doing anything, so I started my search on the internet for a reasonably-priced turquoise dress. I think you’re going to like the one that I found. I’ll show Dad when he gets home from work, and then maybe I can order it tonight. Size 6, right? And even if it’s too big, then I can take it in for alterations. You always said it was important to be able to breathe and dance in any party dress that a girl purchased.”
Lily paused, as if she was waiting to hear her mom’s voice respond and to see her eyes beaming back at her. When there was no reply, she continued.
“Other than getting asked to Prom, it was a pretty quiet day. I got the grade back for the project I did in Mr. Stills class last week. He gave me an A-, which I thought was a little unreasonable after all the work I put into it. Economics class was fine, I finished my birdhouse in woodshop, and we began a new novel in English. Oh and Mom, guess what?! We added a new part to our dance today! Here, I’ll perform it for you,” Lily said as she stood up and began to dance in the silent cemetery.
As she finished the sequence and caught her breath, she said, “Now this one part has only the girls on stage. Then the boys come on after us and we run and jump into their arms. I like it a lot, and we get to wear a flowy dress. Sort of like the one I wore at Stacey and Greg’s wedding in seventh grade.”
Lily ran her fingers through her hair to redo her messy bun that had fallen out while she was dancing.
“I think Dad said we were going to have fettuccini alfredo tonight for dinner. You know him and his Italian food; he loves to share his culture with me. I better get going since I have to read a chapter of the novel and some chores to do at home. I really miss you, Mom. I’ll see you right here tomorrow, I promise.”
Lily grabbed her things and just before she departed from her mother’s grave, she kissed her hand and placed it on the headstone.
No matter if snow was pouring down or if the wind exceeded thirty miles an hour, Lily could be seen visiting her mother’s grave every single day. She hadn’t missed a day for five years, since the day Claire had been rested in this spot, and she wasn’t planning on starting now.
***
“Hey Mom, so I showed Dad the dress yesterday and he approves. I ordered it and it’s scheduled to arrive next week. Today Kristy got jealous because I got over a 100% on my English test. And I know what you said about how she’s not a true friend. So I just avoided her for the rest of the day, and honestly, I was much happier. I should have listened to you seven years ago when I met her. I’m sorry, Mom. Dylan says hi. He’s so busy with baseball practice, and he said he’s sorry he hasn’t been here to visit you in a while. But he promised to swing by soon. Now he’s a true friend. He’s stuck by my side through it all.”
Lily sat in silence for a few minutes, absorbed in her thoughts. She let out a sigh before she continued to speak.
“I’m really just ready to graduate and move on with my life, you know? I can’t wait to study something I love every single day, just like you did. And before you know it, I’ll have my very own nutrition stories to tell. I just heard back from Pepperdine, I got accepted into their elite nutrition program. I know, it’s crazy, I still can’t believe it. But I still think I’m going to go to Whittier State, it’s only a twenty minute drive from here. I don’t think I’m ready to leave this place yet, mainly because I’m not ready to leave you. Pepperdine is perfect for me, but if I can’t see you every day then there’s no point in going.”
She paused for a moment before adding, “I still have time to decide what I want to do. I just wanted to give you an update on what’s going on in my head.”
Lily stood up, brushed her pants off, and grabbed her backpack.
“I better get going. I’ll let you know what happens on tonight’s episode of Windmill,” Lily promised as she once more kissed her hand and passed it on to the grave.
“I love you, Mom.”
***
Days passed, and Prom grew closer. On one particular busy day, Lily had school, a doctor’s appointment, and a final alteration for her dress. After completing her homework and dinner, Lily realized there was one thing she forgot to do.
“Dad, I’ll be right back!” she screamed as she threw on a jacket and grabbed her house key.
“Where are you going at 10 o’clock at night?” he yelled.
“To see Mom!”
Within twenty minutes, Lily had sprinted to Lumina Cemetery, the pouring rain surrounding her and soaking her clothes.
“Mom, I’m sorry I’m so late! I had a doctor’s appointment after school so I couldn’t come then. But I’m here now! Dr. Wasko says everything looks good. I wish you were here, I had to go see her alone because Dad refused to come in with me. He said that I’m almost 18 so I should be able to go visit the doctor by myself. It was scary, but I did it. My dress is perfectly tailored and ready for the dance next Saturday.”
Lily sighed and shivered as the rain swarmed her.
“I think I should go back home now, Dad was pretty worried when I ran out of the house. Plus, I don’t want to get hypothermia. I did bring a jacket, like you always warned me to. I love you Mom, I promise not to forget to come by ever again.”
***
Prom arrived, and after a day full of nerves and preparation, Lily was ready to take on the dance floor and enjoy the promise that she had made to her best friend four years ago. Lily stepped out of her bedroom in her perfectly-fitted, flowy turquoise dress, paired with sparkly silver heels. The loose blonde curls on her head gradually curved and framed her face. As she reached the bottom of the staircase, Dylan caught sight of her and his mouth dropped.
“Wow Lil, you look amazing,” he said, sincerity apparent in his eyes.
“Thanks Dylan, you look great too.”
“Are you ready to go?” Dylan asked.
“Yeah! I’ll see you tonight, Dad,” Lily said as she gave her father a hug.
“Bye guys, have fun!” he said before the duo exited the house and started their journey to their high school gym.
Lily and Dylan filled the car with laughter on their ride to the gym. As they entered the Circus-themed gym, they quickly integrated themselves into the crowd of dancing teenagers. Time quickly passed as Lily and Dylan danced the night away with their friends. Following the dance, Lily and Dylan decided to go midnight bowling with a small group of friends. After bowling three gutter balls in a row, Lily threw her head back and laughed.
“Oh wow, I’m so bad at this!” Lily said as she took a seat next to Dylan.
“You’re not bad! Just a little rusty! We haven’t bowled in a few years,” Dylan pointed out.
“Yeah, you’re right! We haven’t bowled since my 13th birthday,” Lily said before she continued, “and that time it was just you, me, my dad and my mom.”
Dylan nodded before he witnessed Lily jump out of her chair. She checked her watch and began to panic.
“Lily, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“Dylan, I need you to take me home right now.”
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
Tears began to race down Lily’s cheek.
“Lily, what’s wrong?” Dylan said as he grabbed both her shoulders, his voice shaking with concern.
“It’s 12:30,” she stammered.
“Are we past your curfew? Your dad said we could stay out as long as we got home before 2,” Dylan reminded her.
“No Dylan! You don’t understand!” Lily cried out as more tears began to drop.
“Then tell me! What’s bothering you?”
“I missed it.”
“You missed what?” he asked.
“I missed a day.”
“A day of what?” he asked.
“I forgot to go see my mom.”
“Lily, it’s okay. Come on, I’ll take you home.”
“Can we make a stop first?” she asked with hopeful eyes.
“Sure, where?”
“Lumina Cemetery.”
***
The cold rain put a damper on the Prom night, but Lily hadn’t been bothered by it until now. She sat down with Dylan, under the oak tree, as she continued to sob. She hadn’t been able to say much since the pair had arrived at the cemetery, except for four words that she continued to repeat.
“I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry, Mom,” Lily whispered as she covered her head in her hands.
“Lil, it’s okay. You didn’t miss a day. You’re here!” Dylan said as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
“Today is May 12th. I didn’t show up on May 11th at all. I hadn’t missed a day in five years, and I broke my streak. It’s all because I lost my focus. If I hadn’t been so busy I wouldn’t have forgotten.”
“Lily, listen to me. Your mom understand why you didn’t show up. She forgives you, but you didn’t even do anything wrong! Your mom wants you to be happy, Lily. I know she enjoys you coming to visit her every single day, but she doesn’t want you to upset yourself because you missed one day.”
“But when you forget once, you’ll forget again. I’m slowly going to start drifting away, and I can’t let that happen.”
“I know how much you love your mom. Everyone does. And I know how hard it was for you to lose her, Lily. But you need to move on. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t come visit her every single day. I’m not implying that you need to just forget about her. But you do need to stop beating yourself up about not thinking about her every single second of every day. Your mom would have wanted you to move on. You’re never going to forget about her, and she’s always going to be a part of you. But it’s time for you to allow yourself to enjoy life again.”
Lily looked up to meet Dylan’s green eyes before she noticed her dad walking towards her in the rain.
“He’s right, Lily,” he said as he came to stand next to the two teenagers under the tree.
“I called him earlier, I hope that’s okay,” Dylan whispered in Lily’s ear.
Lily nodded before her father continued.
“Your mom wants us to be happy. She knows that we’re never going to forget her, just as she’s never going to forget to watch over us. You don’t have to visit her grave every single day, because she’s always going to be above us, still clued in on our lives.”
Lily took a deep breath before nodding again. Raindrops spilled through the leaves from the trees and dropped onto Lily’s hands. She sat for a moment, absorbed in the silence, before she took a deep breath and spoke.
“You’re both right. Thanks for being here with me tonight and for putting up with my craze of seeing Mom every day. But it’s true. It’s time to move on.”
***
The month of May ended, and graduation came. It was the first time Lily hadn’t felt the need to go tell her mother about the day she had, because she knew her mom had been there to experience it with her.
August rolled around, after a quick but lively summer. Today was finally the day that Lily packed up all her belongings into her SUV and was to drive to Pepperdine. She was lucky that her dad had offered to accompany her on the two hour trip and to help her move into her dorm. As they departed from their house, there was just one last stop Lily knew she had to make before she could start her new beginning in Malibu.
The car pulled up to Lumina Cemetery and Lily got out with one item in hand. She waited for her dad to exit the vehicle, but he motioned for her to proceed.
“Go ahead, I’ll be right here when you’re ready. Besides, I already talked to her this morning at home,” he said before Lily waved and walked up to the familiar oak tree.
She sat down, making herself comfortable in the plush summer grass and said, “Well this is it. The day has finally come, Mom. I’m really excited about the program, and I texted my roommate today, and she says she’ll help me get settled in. I guess this is the first time that I’ve made a decision that hadn’t been contemplated or made because of you being right here. I’ve realized that you’re with me, no matter where I go. I wanted to thank you for everything, Mom. Thanks for raising me to be who I am today. And don’t worry, I’ll come visit you when I come home, which I hope is often.”
Nearing her goodbye, Lily pulled out the item that she had brought with her on this visit: a pink lily. She stared at the flower’s interior, her blue orbs taking in its appearance as if she had never seen anything like it before.
“I brought you this. I want you to know that every time I see a lily, I’ll be thinking of you. I’m really going to miss you, but I promise to still talk to you every day. It just won’t be here and it might not be out loud, but I know you’ll still hear it.”
Lily stood up and put the flower on her mother’s grave. A lone tear rolled down her cheek.
“I love you, Mom. I’ll be back soon,” Lily said as she kissed her hand and placed it on the headstone, just as she had all the days before. Only this time, she knew it would be a while before she would be able to do it again.
***
When Lily had arrived at Pepperdine two hours later, she had been secretly hoping to receive a sign, anything, that would indicate to her that this was where she was supposed to be. As she began unpacking the car, she greeted her new roommate, who offered to help bring her belongings inside. Inside the dorm room, Lily set down a box onto the bed that was going to be hers. There was a window between the two beds, and outside of it sat a flowerbox. Lily gasped as she realized that she had received the sign she had been asking for. Growing in the rich, dark brown soil was one pink lily.
“Oh, I hope you like lilies, they’re my favorite flower,” her roommate said to her as she caught sight of Lily staring at it.
“What a coincidence, they’re my mom’s favorite too.”



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