I can’t say I blame her because then I’d be lying.  The world can be a tightrope that you must walk but Scarlett lacked balance.  At a glance, her life seemed picture-perfect but I saw through her pretty little face.  I knew deep down she was shattered and parts were missing.  I should’ve realized it sooner instead of being as naive as I was.  When I look back on the days before the incident, I picture nothing but hatred for myself and my regret stupidity.
She was beautiful- is beautiful- and everyone knows it.  I mean, how could you not.  She had this beauty that was irresistible and unavoidable to drool over. Even I had sort of a best friend kinda crush on her. She was an interruption to all the boys in Mr. Richards’ second period biology, and a girl who was despised by everyone due to her flawless features. She had a physique that was made of true perfection and a face that allowed her to walk the streets as if they were a catwalk for Alexander McQueen. It was as if the gods dedicated all of the beauty in the world and injected it into her. Scarlett was my best friend, and don’t get me wrong, she always will be despite her unexpected absence and selfishness. Though I will never forgive her for not giving me a warning that I would be left all alone while she dances in the heavens.
“It’s better to burn out than to fade away,” Scarlett quoted from the legendary Kurt Cobain as we sat in my overly pink bedroom. My best friend’s obsession with the band Nirvana can be considered creepy, but her obsessive personality makes her very amusing.
“Don’t you ever wonder why he blew his head off when he had basically everything? Money, fame, talent, a wife, and kids... Raven, are you even listening to me?” Scarlett questioned.
“Oh um, yes,” I stuttered, “You said something about Cobain for the umpteenth time.”
Scarlett has been my best friend for years, but I will never quite comprehend what it is that she finds so beautiful about death. She constantly blabs about the deepest subjects all day long. I mostly find it engrossing but sometimes, like right now, I contemplate whether I should pretend to listen or tell her that I couldn’t care less. Although I can’t stand to see her cute face droop like a puppy with disappointment beaming through her eyes. So instead, I’m going to sit here with my reassuring face while I really daze off into my normal teen topics like boys and ballet. Scar is the most daring person I have ever met and probably will ever meet. Her attempt to be as different from the world as possible, has pretty much inspired me to be unique. If Hollister jeans are the big trend for the season, or red Mary Janes, Scarlett will wear black leggings with her favorite boots. While every sixteen year old girl listens to pop and rap, Scarlett has jam sessions to 70s rock. For an insecure girl, I don’t understand how she is audacious enough to love what is considered ugly and weird. The word basic is not in Scarlett’s vocabulary.
“Hey Scar, I have a lot of calc homework, can we wrap this splendid conversation up. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?”
“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm. Ugh you kill my mood. Anyways,  love you girl!” As Scar drifted out of my room with her ghostly figure, I free fell onto my childish comforter. Before I even got the chance to do my homework, I passed out into a hibernation.
I mainly sleep with my phone on silent, but it just so happened that on the day of Scarlett’s disappearance, the volume was loud enough to hear from mars. After three loud rings I grabbed my phone like a zombie. It was a random number with the same area code as mine. I thought that it was probably a wrong number considering it was three in the morning. I decided to place it back on my night stand and roll over to my left side. Maybe about eleven seconds later my phone buzzed and beeped with an obnoxious tone. Annoyed and sleep-deprived, I clicked answer with my index finger.
“God what you do want it’s 3:02 am?”
“Raven, oh Raven,” a whimpering voice moaned.
And that is all I remember. The words Mrs. Rosen spilled out of her lips tasted like vinegar to me. My heart plunged to my stomach and my mind floated into a black cloud. Why? Not why did she do it, because I knew. But why did it have to be my best friend.
They said it was painless. That should’ve brought me comfort. But no, it was like swallowing cough syrup. Scarlett took an abundant number of her dad’s painkillers from his knee surgery.  Scarlett Rosen, my sister, my other half, my inspiration had killed herself.  She stripped herself from getting the chance to feel the pride of getting accepted into a university, from getting pregnant, and to falling in love.  But worst of all, she took away my chance to say my final farewell. To tell her that I wasn’t as good of a friend as I should’ve been.
Scarlett’s favorite quote, “It’s better to burn out than to fade away,” resembled her short life a great deal. Her biggest fear was to be forgotten and yes she did something that created gossip and rumors for months to come.  I guess she got her wish to burn out. But she did not fade away, definitely not in my heart.  And that, that is how life goes.