My father rarely came home. When he did, mama told me to keep quiet and do everything he said. He was always tired and frustrated. He would sleep, eat, and watch T.V. And then he would just leave. No goodbye, no note, not “by the way tomorrow, I’m leaving.” He just up and left. It was a morning where mama always cried , his belongings gone, his soul never being truly with us. I never knew my father much. He was always just that “guy” who used to love my mama. We never knew when he’ll come for a visit, or where he’ll be coming from. When he’ll leave and where he’ll go. But I’ll never forget the last time I saw him.
It was as if he knew what would happen. He walked in on a hot summer day.  Clean clothes, white teeth, and a bright smile. I came home from school to find him reading on the kitchen counter, bags sprawled across the floor, picking the marshmallow pieces out of the year-old Lucky Charms box. I plopped down on the couch and stared at the setting sun. I never spent that much time alone with my father. No conversation, just silence. We never had anything to talk about anyway. I’m pretty sure I’ve never said anything to him except “Yes Sir” or “I understand Sir”. Mama came home late from work , groceries in hand. She was happy to see my father, and he flashed her a little smile. The sun was still out, trying to use up as much time as possible before it was hidden in the darkness. Just as I was about to fall asleep he approached me.
His hands were hidden behind his back, he smiled and laughed. He had a sweet laugh that belonged with Thanksgiving dinner and the smell of leftover turkey sandwiches. I sat up straight and mumbled “Yes Sir?”.
“I brought you something”. His hand slowly came out from behind his back. His hands were red like lobsters and old, almost worn out. In his hands lay a styrofoam airplane, constructed perfectly. I tried to keep my smile down, looking professional.
“It’s for you” he whispered, placing it in my hands. I was so grateful, even in it’s simplicity to have this moment with my papa.
It was the first toy I ever had.